Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I really don’t think all guys like girls that are bitchy but I do think that some guys seem to gravitate towards those women. I’ve started to notice this over the last several years…and especially lately.

I currently know several women who may I say are complete nightmares. They just aren’t very friendly and when it comes to their mate, they’re not much better. One girl that I can think of yells MOTHER F*&$ER to her boyfriend. She’s highly dramatic and throws tantrums. Not only that she’s high maintainence, and materialistic. Yet…this girl has a boyfriend. Although, I’m not jealous of her because, I wouldn’t want to date him either.

Another fine example of a bitchy girl that has a guy is the one I know nit picks everything he does. Sometimes it’s not just what she says but how she says it. She picks on his driving, his clothes, he doesn’t make enough money. She’s even yelled at him later at work than she’d like.

Do men like women of this nature because deep down every guy wants a girl like his mother? Do guys subconsciously like an over bearing woman? If you’re single, think of your married guy friends and what they say about their wives. How many times have you heard them go off on how they’re nags and bitching about this and that? I would venture to say that 9 out of every 10 guys would say that their wives are always on their case. So then why do these guys marry these women?

My only thought is that are these girls always like this and you were too blind to see it? I can’t imagine they become that way over night!

Now I will say that I have my moments where I have a short fuse and I might go off on somebody but, that’s if you really I mean really tick me off. So guys just like when you wonder why girls don’t like nice guys…why do girls that are bitchy get the good guys.


Anonymous said...

I don't believe this to be true. I have seen it from time to time, don't get me wrong. But to say it's the norm isn't correct, either.

The other thing that I think you have wrong (or exaggerated) is in one sentence you say men like bitchy, overbearing women, and in the next, you say they do this because they want someone like their mom. So does that mean that their moms are bitches?? Most likely not. However, if that would be the case, then it's probably best if you don't get yourself worked up over these guys, as that would suck to have these "overbearing" women as mother-in-laws anyway.

After reading a few of your blogs, it appears that you always find some excuse for why you aren't getting men. Instead of trying to pick these men apart, why don't you take a look at yourself? It doesn't have to be inward, or what's on the outside - you're obviously a beautiful woman. But, don't you think that something you're doing isn't working by now? By the way you write all the time, your blog could be titled, "The Reasons Why I Hate Men", and that would scare any good man away. Try toning it down some.

Anonymous said...

The bitchiness is tolerable so long as the nookie is new and fresh. Once the novelty wears off it is replaced only by passive-agressive resentment, hence a normal relationship.

Shawn said...

I can think of few people I know very well who seem to like girls just like their mothers. I can think of several, in fact, who for differing personal reasons deliberately stay away from those types. These guys pretty consistently date girls with similar (or complementary) personalities to their own, myself included.

There are absolutely guys out there who date different personality types but the one they get the most serious about are very much like their mother. One of my friends told a significant other "you know, you remind me so much of my mom." Upon hearing of this, I promptly smacked him on the back of the head.

Many guys like overbearing women, at least on some level. Personally, that is one my turn-offs. The guys I see this in usually find them attractive for several reasons, like the excitement. They are often uncontrollable, unpredictable, aggressive, impatient, used to getting their way, and more than willing to tell another person what to do. Many of these guys eventually tire of the excitement and look for something different, but sometimes go back to the same type of girl.

I'm single, but I don't hear 90% of the friends saying the wife is being an itch. They will probably say they're being nagged to death about something minor or otherwise. They may even give some outline of a 3-hour drama over the incident. I guess my friends don't marry extremely itchy women, because they are not attracted to the type. Many of them might refer to them as such on a VERY RARE occasion, but none of them truly consider their wife to be an incurably colossal itch.

I'd venture to guess the guys who get "legally chafed" with an itch, do so out obligation, financial reasons, lack of other opportunity, having been shut down too many times by really good catches, or similar reasons rather than out of a compulsive need to scratch. IF the guy thinks she really cares for him and wants to change him for the better, he may tolerate some disrespect from the itch in question. It is MORE likely that an itchy girl knows exactly what she wants, how to get it, is HIGHLY motivated, and if she's resolute in getting a mild-mannered, reliable good guy, he's... inexorably infected. ;-)

Erin Austin said...

Anonymous #1
I'm not if you read this blog that much but, remember some of things I write about also can be my friends experiences too.

I don't believe that all men like the bitchy girl but I think soe gravitate towards that for whatever reason.

As far as me not finding a me...i've in/out/under and I still can't figure out why the hard times w/guys.

No one ever said dating is easy. And the thing you said with "toning it down some"...obviouly you don't know me personally...if you did you get what exactly I'm talking about. And like I've said friend Mathew told me..."If a guy doesn't like your blogs...then he's just not the guy for you."

Anonymous said...

I've noticed this also & I have two theories.
-bitchy women demand so much attention that more men notice them. They get more men to choose from.
-some men like being the victim. I've known men like this. They like to complain, but never do anything to correct the situation.

Anonymous said...

I totally know what you mean, infact I was so annoyed by a girls motives to seduce my best friend (a guy) that I googled blogs on the see what people think. It wasn't that I particularly cared that she wanted him, that's their business, it was more the way she went about doing it!

It has been my experience since I was 15 atleast that girls pretend to be your friend to invade your teritory............this could be just me, but its repitition is annoying. Guys always tell me how cool and different and gorgeous I am, but nevertheless levitate towards these girls who are so full of direct bitchy remarks. And ofcourse its only because they feel so inadequate themselves. I am not a bitchy person. I'm quite open to my friend having a relationship lol, and would never get in his way cause god knows I'm not interested that way, yet I fall victim to these comments that are demoralising beyond belief. I don't in anyway think its fair.

You could be the nicest and most selfless person in the world, you can stand back and let things happen and pose no threat, yet you still have to deal with this crap. Makes you wonder whats it's all about and if it's worth it? I mean the very fact that I am sitting here, worried about the fate of my friendship, woried about what someone else is saying about me or how she could be influencing my friend for her sake because of her issues, you know, it really makes you wonder how much faith you can have in relationships and if you really wasted time in the first place?

I am unsure then whether to judge men on the type of women they choose?!! For something that has nothing to do with me, that I don't want to care about, it feels like I'm being dragged kiccking and screaming into someone elses warzone with nothing to defend myself with. The only thing I can do is wear camoflauge i.e. opt out of the relationship completely.

Men do choose women like their mothers the exact same way women choose men based on the type of guy their dad was. So before you do the mother first:) if you like her, it's meant to be(lol);)

In my personal situation it seems that I attract men who are attracted to bitchy women. They to me as friends, them to bitchy women as lovers and those bitchy women to me as threat:) IT SUCKS! I won't fight for anyone anymore.

Anonymous said...

Don't know you, don't read your blog, just thought I'd share.

Major topic: Just a young, single guy passing through wondering why he's attracted to bitchy girls--not necessarily categorically bitchy, but just turned-on when they get bitchy. This is the first site of my education, but my intuitive hypothesis is, it's possibly evolutionary. My understanding is that when women are ovulating, they go through mood swings, their sex drive increases, and they also enjoy sex more, which is nice because it helps propogate the species. They say humans have no instincts, so it must be an intuitive link that men have with sex and bitchiness derived from or associated with women's cycle. As well, it might be psychological, but only if there is already an underlying attraction to the woman. When a man gets challenged by a woman he finds attractive, he's likely to get sexually aggressive (unless he's low in confidence), which establishes another association between sex and bitchiness. Additionally, different men have different preferences, and those are established by their past environments and social interactions--there is probably not one reason men like bitchy women or an answer as to if all men like bitchy women, but those notions above seem logical.

Second topic: Those guys that are marrying their mothers who constantly nag and bitch at them are boring guys (probably fat and stupid as is 90-95% of the population), and moaning about how their wives are bitchy is just a social pasttime--something to discuss because they have nothing intelligent to discuss (I don't think it's covered in his book, but read "Games People Play" by Eric Berne).

There are several reasons a man marries, which include but are not limited to: 1) to have kids, 2) to avoid disease, 3) to stop having to spend money chasing p*ssy, 4)to stop spending effort chasing p*ssy, 5) to double his income, 6) to end everyone calling him a homo behind his back or to his face, or just the threat that he's 40 years old and this is happening, 7) to end his own homophobia, 8) to have a steady companion at social events (kind of related to 6 above), 9) to increase his chances of promotion at work (also related to 6 above), 10) to get someone before his looks start to fade (before he becomes absolutely desperate and has to take anyone)especially if he wasn't attractive or moneyed to begin with, and the list goes on.... If they're wives are bitching at them, it's because the wives too married for the same reasons, and neither one of them is satisfied with the arrangement and miss their youths. They stick with it if the benefits (even if the benefit is to someone other than themselves, such as their kids) out-weigh the costs. That's marriage, and that's why it doesn't work. However, it's necessary because most women cannot generally accept the social and financial responsibility of raising a kid alone, unless she has parents whose 401k's are still viable, even so, it's a bad psychological situation for the kid not to grow up without a father--certain developmental things could be missed.