Friday, January 30, 2009

DO YOU HAVE THE "ONE" THAT YOU COMPARE EVERYONE TO?

Over the course of our lifetime we may have many romantic relationships. You may actually have many people that you love. I know that I have loved more than 1 man so far in my life. When we enter these relationships there are qualities about the other person that we haven’t found in anybody else. Whether it be their sense of humour, their thoughtfulness, or they way they look at you, these qualities you love and don’t want to let go.

So has there ever been that one person that had so many of those qualities but for whatever reason things didn’t work out and since then you can’t find anyone as good?

I can say there is that person for me. I won’t reveal his name but for the people that know me…know who I’m talking about. He’s the one person that since my divorce has made me feel like I’m a truly beautiful person. Not only was it in the words that he said but in the funny noises he made, or the truly thoughtful things he did for me. I’ve never had someone appreciate me as much as he did. Not only did he make me feel beautiful but, he also made me feel sexy. That was something I never really felt when I was married.

We had so much fun together and it didn’t matter what we did. Hanging out with friends or hanging by ourselves. Sleeping in or staying out late. We were good at being spontaneous and being a little adventurous. There’s one thing that I can think of that was super feisty, but it’s too much for this blog.

And can I be perfectly honest? I’ve never found anyone as passionate as him either. If you know what I mean! He’s the one at the top of my list. So far no one comes close. Which I feel bad saying but, it’s true. Not that it’s been horrible since then, but let’s face it, some people don’t have all the skills. They’re too inhibited or need to come out of their shell a little.

Now that I’ve gone off on this tangent and probably made some people a little self conscious, I just wonder if everyone has that ONE…the one that no matter who you date or meet no one ever seems to have everything that was so great. I know I’ve talked to my girlfriends about guys we’ve dated and I said “You know this guy is great and all, but he doesn’t treat me nearly good as they did.” I’m talking good on all levels too. I’m talking isn’t as good in bed, doesn’t treat you as good, isn’t as thoughtful or giving. So why would you date or marry someone that wasn’t the best you ever had?

I know that nobody is perfect and I’m not looking for that. What I’m looking for is that feeling. The feeling they give you when they look at, touch, feel, and smell you. I know it sounds weird, but I like when someone smells me. I just wonder that if we maybe didn’t get married until we found someone the best at everything on our list maybe there wouldn’t be as many divorces. Think about it, would you really want to marry a person that is not that great in the sack but makes great lasagna? Or a guy that’s pretty good in bed but doesn’t treat you very good or doesn’t tell you how pretty you are? I guess, I just need to know it’s ok to look for the best you’ve ever had.

One more thing, don't think that I don't date people strictly because their not a "10" in all categories, because I have. Those relationships never laster more than about a month. Anyway, see what you think.

2 comments:

khatz gnaquer said...

One thing to keep in mind here is that the good times are never that good and the bad times are never that bad. Be careful putting a person or a relationship on a pedestal, because nothing will ever measure up.

Erin Austin said...

Ahh...Khatz gnaquer!!!

I totally get what you're saying. Don't get me wrong...I don't lay in my bed at night thinking "Ohh why can't we be together?" when I think about this person...cuz trust me...there were things about him that drove me nuts too.

Even though he was very good to me, he still was very hard on me. He was also very stubborn and like things his way.

So even though I think he was great and great to me in a lot of ways...I still hope I can find someone that could be better.

Does that make sense?

Not that I think the grass is greener...because let's face it ...he's the one that broke up with me.