One thing that is hard for me when you break things off with someone is when they move on. Well, at least that's what's hard for me. And it's not because I'm not over them specifically it's because I'm not over their actions or in actions. Let me clarify.
For instance, when I was married there were certain things that my husband wouldn't do. One of them was working out. I gained some weight while we were married and thought he might find me more attractive if I lost 1o lbs. I decided I wanted to join a gym and asked he wanted to join with me. He said "No way...It'll just go to waste, I'll never go." What happened after we got divorced...he joined a gym and starting doing all the things that I wished he would've liked to do while we were married.
Now he has a girlfriend and things are pretty serious. I sometimes wonder if she is getting a better version of him than I had. Does he treat her better? Does he appreciate her? Or does he act just the same? I do know that he tries harder with her than he did me but maybe he learned that to keep a relationship going it takes work and it's not easy.
Then I think of one my more recent exes. His fiance dumped him. I thought when I met him that he was fine. Then, after a few months of dating he freaks out telling me that he doesn't want to be tied down. Although, now he's dating some college girl. They're actually spending Thanksgiving together. Now granted, he only dates this girl because at the moment it's easy. I mean, she goes to school 2 states away. It sure is easy having a girlfriend when you don't have to see her everyday and spend time with her.
I'm not sure if either one of us girls got the better version of him. Maybe the fiance is the one that did. All I know is that, at least the college girl didn't dumped by him with some lame line of "Erin you're great...I'm just f-ed in the head...I don't know what's wrong with me." RRRIIIGHT!!!
Now for the latest causality. I think this person is a good person and I can see him being a great boyfriend. He's very affectionate and thoughtful. I mean, what guy actually offers to massage your feet? NOT MANY! Problem is is that his last girlfriend did a number on him. Cheated on him, broke up with him, begged him back. This constant emotional tug of war. When I met him I thought he was over her. He told me he was. Then he started acting flaky. Come to find out there's more going on in his head than I thought...more than he thought. So I know that I didn't get the best version of him that I could've.
Why is it that when we enter a relationship we don't always give our best self? Or do we and that's just the best we have at that particular moment?