Monday, October 13, 2008

PUTTING YOURSELF ON HOLD

Have you ever done that? It doesn't even have to be love life related either. Maybe you put your education on hold to have kids or get married. Or maybe since you got married you put your career on hold. I know I've put my self on hold in several areas of my life.

When I was younger I put my career on hold because I got married. I followed my husband around for his job. Now, I always did end up getting work but it wasn't as fulfilling as I'd hoped. Then again, whose to say that if I remained single and did my own thing I would've ended up any farther along. Things always worked out and I learned a lot in the process.

I've also put myself on hold for having a love life too. After a breakup I would hold on to hope that the person might change their mind. I would shy away from dates and guys because in the back of my mind I thought "What if?" "What if they realize what a mistake they made?" Seriously? What's that about? Or if I went on a date I would in the back of my mind hope it might not work out. How stupid is that?

I've had enough of this behavior out of myself. I decided awhile ago that this was insane. Do you know the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. No more letting myself wonder "What if?" So, what if they change their mind? It's not like I haven't given them enough time or chances. I need to respect myself a little more. Why not go on that date? I bet he's not putting himself on hold!

You know, I've actually got a date for the first time in awhile and we'll see how it goes. I'm nervous. I hope I don't jinx it. Even if it doesn't go well, at least I can say I didn't sit around waiting for the "What if?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry. OK...well maybe at myself a little. For being the girl that didn't just move on and give something else a shot.

4 comments:

Independant75 said...

Yes go on the date. And don't be angry with yourself either. Anger only leads to bitterness...just like what if's. It is my experience that if they have left you behind they will not realize their mistake because they don't think they have made one.
If it is meant to be it will be. Don't hope that things will fail.....keep an open mind to someone that may not be that "ideal" you have in mind.
It is really hard to wait when you want it all right now...
but patience pays off in the long run (and it usually is a long run).

Anonymous said...

What if the ex wants you back? Would it really be a big deal breaker if you dated others while on a break?

Erin Austin said...

No, it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker.

I feel a little silly thinking that it might've been at some point.

Oh well, onward and upward.

Anonymous said...

OMG. I'm in the same boat! I'm scaried to take chances on my career. Because there's that uncertain factor. I also feel like I am allowing my husband to hold me back.