Tuesday, October 7, 2008


We all flake out on things from time to time. We make plans with someone and then at the last minute we cancel for whatever reason but usually it's just because you don't want to keep the plans we made.

Some people are bigger flakes than others. Some people don't even know they're flakes and well...some people just don't care that they are. I know several types. In my life I've encountered both men and women that are. Funny thing is, when people flake out on me it's usually because they get a better offer. Sometimes, I get very little warning too.

For instance, when I've encountered guys that are flakes they wait til the last minute to spring on you the change of plans. Like a time where I had my boyfriend coming to visit me from out of state and he canceled a few hours prior to his flight to tell me that he wasn't coming. Or the time I had a date go to a baseball game with me and my friends and about a half hour before he left the game early is when he told me that he had to go in such an all fired hurry. Just so you know I don't speak to either one of those people anymore.

What makes me mad is when people flake out on you and leave you high and dry. Plans to go to dinner, shopping, hanging out, whatever it is, these are all things you could do by yourself sure but, you had plans to do them together.

Girls are flakes a lot of the time. I have one friend that flakes out on me I would say 40% of the time. The reasons could very. Anything from a better offer, a better offer from a guy to, at the last minute changes their mind.

Maybe part of it I just need to get over. Because sometimes there's nothing you can do about it. Although, what I find interesting is that I feel like people flake out on me all the time and don't really feel bad, but if I did the same to them...I'd hear about it for sure!!!! And when people flake out on me I rarely say something because I don't want to rough up the waters.

I know that there are things I don't really want to do, or it's slightly inconvenient for me but I do it anyway because I said I would do it.

So how do you deal with the flake? If it's the flake that does it all the time then it's easy, You make plans with them and just expect they'll call with an excuse. But the person that flakes out half the time is tricky. How do let them know it bothers you?


Trev said...

You must not pussyfoot around any longer. People will only treat you the way you let them treat you. Not speaking up when you're pissed just tells them that you're ok with it when you're obviously not. I really think you need to go psycho on some people. Try saying this, "Look, yo, if you ever cancel on me again you're going to get F'd in the A!"(If possible speak with a thick Swedish accent, just to really fuck them up) You may want to switch various nouns and adjectives but you get the point. Rough up the water, ruffle feathers..people may not like you for it but they'll respect you.

Anonymous said...

why doesn't it suprise me that the first example you come up with is man bashing. Getover it and get over yourself. You got dumped on. So what. So have every other human being who has had more than one relationship. Here in Milwaukee we don't like to listen to this trash. This isnt Junior High, so grow up Erin. You are'nt going to survive in this market with the attitude that comes across without you even realizing what you are doing.

Independant75 said...

Hey Erin,
I have been guilty of being the flake. I have flaked out a couple times this year about going down to visit a life long friend. Who would have known that an hour drive could be such a distance. I always thought i had good reasons as we were putting up a new garage this year and there were things i needed to get done but i am afraid that i have hurt that friendship.
So i would say have patience with long term friends but don't take it from the guys, especially if they guy is new and he doesn't have a real good reason...
like he is a doctor and had to deliver a baby or a family member is in the hospital.

Independant75 said...

I have to say that anonymous really needs to lighten up.
Unfortunately when we use examples it is always that last thing the happens to us or the thing most fresh in our minds.
People do like to hear this stuff, it gives us someone to identify with, or offer words of wisdom and advice because we may have "been there, done that".
No this isn't junior high but we are all still looking for connections.