Monday, August 18, 2008

DOES EVERYONE SLEEP AROUND??

I'm starting to wonder if everyone sleeps around and if I'm one of the only people that hasn't gone buck wild after a divorce or breakup. I can think of both men and women that when a break up of some sort happens to them, they end up going off the deep end and sleep with anything that shows interest in them.

A girl I can think of totally went off the deep end when she had her divorce. This girl is obsessed with getting it on. Married, single, young, old, it doesn't matter. It's funny because, she is actually a pretty girl with a good head on her shoulders and has her stuff together. Yet, she loves the horizontal mambo, to the point where she makes horrible choices in men.

I actually have a couple ex's that kind of went off the deep end. One of them went from having a lack of desire to having a "F&#@ BUDDY" after we broke things off. He also "dated" any girl that he knew didn't have potential in the long run. All of the girls he was with were time fillers.

The other ex...honestly I don't what his deal is. It's partially a fear of commitment. The other parts I think are a combo of things. The fact that he's a little younger and still figuring things out. Maybe one part is the group of guys that he hangs out with. They are kind of playboys and like to have a good time. All I know is that since our breakup his not really the same guy that I thought was. Playing girls and having flings.

There is also a guy that I dated for about a month. When I was seeing him I wasn't the only girl he was seeing. He was trying to spread himself between 5 girls!! Yep 5!!! Needless to say, I was out! I think he took pride on how many he could juggle at a time.

Another reason why I'm writing this blog is because lately I've heard several stories about men and them fooling around on the significant others. One of my guy friends has a girlfriend yet on the weekend may hookup with an ex-girlfriend. Or the stories I'm hearing about guys cheating on their wives. All of those stories have got me scared to date anyone for fear that they'll pull the same.

A very good guy friend of mine was seeing a girl who he saw real potential in. Now, my friend while in his 20's was what one might call a "man whore". Now he is in his 30's and ready for a real relationship. They actually dated for over a month and never once slept together. He really liked her but was waiting for the moment. I found it amazing...and so did he...that he had that much restraint. He really cared about her.

I just wonder sometimes does anyone keep their legs crossed anymore? It doesn't matter your situation either. Married, single, ready for a relationship or wanting to be single and see what's out there. Are we all that selfish that we only think of ourselves and our needs versus the consequences or feelings of other people?

I will end with this...for every action or decision we make comes outcomes and consequences. Sometime the outcome is good. You might find someone you truly like. Sometimes it is bad. You might get a disease. You may get hurt....or you may hurt someone you care about.

5 comments:

Khatz Gnaquer said...

Most people do. People want immediate gratification and don’t worry much about the future.

To address your point, "All of those stories have got me scared to date anyone for fear that they'll pull the same."
I am a single guy who happens to have some close female friends. When they ask me about my opinion of a guy they are dating, I ask them how smooth the guy is. If he hits every button correctly on a first date, RUN. He got that way through experience and he'll stay that way, but not with you. If the guy is a bit of a klutz, it is because he hasn't perfected the art, probably because he isn't trying to get every piece he can. There is probably more long-term potential with the klutz. The concept is a little counterintuitive and certainly is not a perfect test, but I think girls would be better served at least thinking about it. Date James Bond if you want, but don't expect him to be around for very long.

Keep the faith Erin, you sound like someone who wants true companionship. Hang in there and you’ll find it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Erin:

This is Wilson. The guy you met in Italy together with Vanessa.

Interesting blog you have...how are things since you got back from vacation?

Btw, send me your email address at: vonoei@singnet.com.sg

I was gonna send you the pic I took off you in Capri.

Anonymous said...

Erin-

There are a lot of players in Milwaukee, both men and woman. It is ashame that the nice girls like you seem to want the player. Guys that are James Bond, well are just that. PLAYERS. Might be better off trying to find a nice guy with a big heart that would appreciate an educated, pretty woman such as yourself.

Anonymous said...

too many out there looking to sleep around. ick!

isn't anyone afraid of STDs?? or worse? Aids is on the increase people. get a clue tramps and male sluts...have a little self-respect and stop giving it away. nasty.

Jacob said...

I don't. In fact, I get dumped because I don't. Often. In fact, I've had one person tell me they wouldn't get closer to me even though she was really attracted to me - BECAUSE she knew I wanted to settle down and have a serious relationship and she was having fun.

Here's another way of looking at at... Does everyone live paycheck to paycheck?

Look at how many people in the world have the gusto, the drive and the know-how and dedication to become self-made millionaires.

All these women... and men... they live as if there is no shortage of good people in the world.

Fact is, good people are as rare as millionaires - heck they are as rare as people who believe in saving up for what they want, etc. I have female friends who have talked about me as the 'last resort' - i.e. they don't want someone like me right now, they want to "have fun"... but they are somehow sure that when they do want someone like me - well there will be plenty of me around.

I do chuckle inside about it - just the idea that somehow I will (a) stick around and wait for someone to come to their senses and grow up, and (b) won't find another adult by spending time with people who are more seriously minded than they are.

Google/youtube the "marshmallow test."

Selfish people eventually trample you in the end, no matter how much they say they won't. Regardless of age or gender.