Tuesday, June 10, 2008


In my last blog I talked about guys over thinking marriage and "THE ONE". This is something most girls don't say. The girls I know don't believe in "THE ONE". Most girls believe in "the man I'm going to marry". I personally don't believe in "THE ONE." I'll tell you why.

When I was younger I never dreamed of getting married like a lot of little girls. In fact, when I was a teenager I never thought I would ever get married. Only because, I never had a boyfriend in high school or college. I mean, for Pete's sake my prom date had to be convinced to ask me!!! Guys weren't interested in me. Whatever! So, when I met my ex-husband I was new to the whole relationship thing. It may sound weird but he really was like my 1st real boyfriend. We dated for 3 years before getting married. Obviously, love and appreciation grew as time went on. Then, we divorced...so he's not "THE ONE."

Now that I'm divorced and back on the dating scene I'm learning so much. I meet some guys off MATCH.COM and I've had a few dates.(I don't date Cha-chi D-bags) All were nice guys but most I didn't feel compatible with. I didn't get that spark. One person I did feel that spark, so we dated. It was pretty good. I think it was cut off a little too short but what can a girl do?

Where am I going with this? Well as you know, I dated Sean. We were compatible. Perfect...no. Now, if I didn't get this job here in Milwaukee and I got the job in Dallas would we still be together? Maybe. Would I have ever married him? Not sure. We'll never know. What I'm saying is..is that there is more than 1 person in the entire world that you're compatible with. More than 1 person that you could marry. So, if we are capable of that why do we call it "THE ONE?"

Is it because it's THE ONE you marry? If that's the case then I'm toast! I already blew my wad if we're going that line of thinking. Heck...50% of men and women in America blew their wad too!!! God knows, I never intended to get divorced but people change and grow apart over time.

Guys in general men are commitment phobic. In my mind, that makes them have this odd sense of what you should feel if you were to marry a girl. That feeling I think that they are looking for is almost like the light bulb went off. I don't think guys are wired to date girls and fall in love and envision their life with this woman....like us girls do. I think men all look for the RED neon sign with the arrow.

I remember asking someone who had been married for 40 years, how do know if you should marry someone? They said that no one is perfect, and you need to find someone that you're compatible with, and the things that you don't agree with or differ on, decide if you can live with it.

Moral of the story is this, I believe that there is more than person you could marry. More than one person that you could spend your life with. With that said, how does anyone ever decide on just one person when so many of us choose the wrong person to marry in the first place? Maybe because love is blind.

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