I'm a person that has a hard time saying no to things. Problem is, I go along with something, and when it really bothers me (or I've had a cocktail or 2) then I speak up. The reason sometimes I don't speak up is because I'm being nice.
I started thinking about things recently that have bothered me. For instance, when I call say an ex-boyfriend, does he only call me back to be nice or does he really want to talk to me? Sean and I talked the other day and we were catching up on things, and comparing dating stories of match.com. It was good to know I wasn't the only one having dating problems. Here's the thing...I wondered if we would even keep in touch if it weren't for me reaching out? I feel like I'm always the one to reach out. Granted he usually gets back to me but I wondered if he did just to be nice?
I'm a girl that likes to keep in contact and have a friendly relationship with ex's. The problem is that I feel like I'm always the one to reach out. I start to wonder am I the only one that cares? Do these people ever wonder how I'M doing? Do they ever wish to catch up? Grab lunch...hang out? How come they rarely reach out?
A recent guy I dated told me that he still wants to be friends and still wants to hang out. Is he just being nice? Although I've ran into him a couple times...we've yet to hang out. We talk occasionally but, I'm more of the reacher outer. I think he's called me once to see how my weekend was. I know he doesn't need to call me back, which he's pretty good about but, I wonder if he would ever call just because. Just because HE wanted to see how things were. Would he ever call because HE cares?
I know I'm guilty of being to nice sometimes. For instance, I had a couple guys ask me on a date recently and I would say " oh oh..umm...sure!" even though I didn't want to. Why? Because I didn't know how to say "no thank you". See...now I can say it! Why couldn't I have said that awhile ago?
See, there's a part of me that I don't like. I sometimes don't like the part of me that cares. I'd like to know someone wants to know how I'm doing. How was my weekend? "Hey Erin, you wanna meet sometime for lunch?" Yet, I'm the one that keeps in touch. It's a little frustrating but what are you going to do?
1 comment:
Ahh..I feel your pain. I have been through the same thing and probably always will. I have gotten in touch with old friends from High School and College using MySpace and Facebook and it's great, but I run into the same thing that you have. I write to these "friends" and some of them get back to me, some of them say they will keep in touch and don't and some don't even reply at all. I don't understand this either. How can you be a part of someone's life for so many years and be great friends with them and not even write a friendly hello back?! The way I look at it is that "we" (people like us) are just wired differently. We are the caring, sensitive type. The type that reaches out to old friends and wants to stay in touch, and cares about how people are doing. Other people just don't think this way. I've learned that the important people in your life are always there for you and you can always count on them for anything. They say that if you can say that you have 5 "true" friends in your life that you are truly blessed. Through the years you find this to be true. My family is the most important to me and are always there..they are more than family they are some of my Best Friends. Everyone knows that you are a great person, and you know yourself that you are a great person..no questions. Some people just don't have the wiring to go the extra mile like us. They don't think that a phone call would be nice, or a nice email...they seem to always wait for the "reachers" like us to reach out to them.
So, don't worry. The important people know how great you are and if you know that you are great..then that's all that matters.
Keep Smiling :)
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