I haven't been writing any blogs recently because I hadn't had any deep questions that needed to be answered.
I was dating a guy for the last couple months. I thought things were pretty good. We had the same views on things and some we didn't. I liked hanging out with him. I mean for the first time I can remember, I actually was dating a guy that made me laugh.
Well I started to notice a slight change in him. He told me that the IronMan race he was doing he was behind in training for. I asked if it was because of me and he said that it wasn't my fault but since dating me he lost his focus...so he couldn't go out to dinner as much because he needed to just eat broccoli and chicken. I get it...I mean that sucks but it's only a month...right? Then he said that I may take a backseat for awhile as he gets ready for this race. I told him that I supported him and that I understand how important it was to do well...I told him that it maybe a little hard for me to be so patient but this would be good for me.
Then it comes to last night. He comes over, we have dinner and I asked him about vacations and what he's got going on for the next couple of months. Needless to say, he has a lot going on. I felt like it was a laundry list. He asked me why I was asking. I told him that I needed to figure out my vacation time at work and wanted to see if we could do something...even if it's just a weekend. The next thing he tells me is that he thought was a little early to go on a vacation together. WHAT? I'm not asking to meet the family and have babies...I just thought since that a weekend somewhere might be cool.
The next thing that came out of my mouth is was what started the process. I said I had a feeling that he wanted to break up with me but he didn't have the balls to do it.
This is where it gets all too familiar. He said, " I have this smart, beautiful, funny woman in front of me and I don't know what to do." I heard that one before. Sean said the same thing. Telling me as he's breaking up with me how I'm so funny, I'm so pretty, I'm such a great catch but he can't be with me anymore. Is this a complete line of crap???? I mean, If I'm so great, why is it that I can't keep their attention? Why is it that they feel it's better to let me go than try a little harder?
I mean how can he go from buying me flowers last week with a sweet note that "he doesn't take me for granted" to this week not knowing what he wants to do with me.
I know he said that it was just bad timing...is it? Or does he just not want to try? Or is it because there's something wrong with me...or him? I just don't get it. What is wrong with me that I can't keep them around?
I know that I'm a good catch. I know I'm funny, witty, attractive, not a complete head case, a giver (to a fault), and have my stuff together. Heck, I've never committed any felonies, stalked anyone, had a restraining order against me, I don't kick puppies, I cry at sad movies, I'm not in debt to my eyeballs. DID I MENTION I DON"T KICK PUPPIES???
I feel stupid that I opened myself up again. It's hard enough dating let alone finding someone you actually click with and have a good time with and them leaving you hanging.