After coming out of this latest relationship I realized something...I'm worth someones time!!
One reason I divorced my ex-husband is because I didn't believe that he had it in him to give me the time...care...and attention that I deserved. He was always so busy with what HE had going on. I can remember calling him up early on in our dating days just to see how his day was. he would answer the phone and say hello...I would say hello back and then..."What do you want Erin I'm really busy?!"
After a couple times of hearing that I was trained to always when I call someone and they answer the phone when I call I ask..."Are you busy?" I"m always afraid of taking up their time.
So when I got divorced I knew that there was better for me somewhere out there. I started dating a few months after the separation but I wasn't quite sure if dating anyone in particular was what I wanted...I met Sean along with some other guys. I knew right away the the other guys...even though they were attractive they were D-Bags. They had no interest in even a date they just wanted to "hang out". I'm not in High School anymore ...so...NO I don't want to "HANG OUT"!!!
Sean was really into me. He surprised me with dinner at my house, took me to a nice restaurant where he asked for all these extra perks. He really tried. It was a complete 180 from what I got from my ex-husband. Even though I wasn't sure about dating just one person, I thought you know this guy could be good for me. So we started dating and things went well til he became preoccupied with his brother. (completely understandable)
Then came "Mr. X". "Mr. X" and I seemed click right away. I cracked jokes and he laughed, We had a good time together, and things were pretty good. He did some sweet things for me, made me dinner, bought me a gift. It was nice. He seemed to be trying. Then rather quickly he seemed to stop try as much. Now let me say that I think Mr. X is a great guy. He's very sweet, funny, he made me laugh. I think he's has a really good heart. Not sure why he stopped trying as much, maybe he got scared, maybe he decided to really focus on his race or both or heck none of the above.
I know that when "Mr. X" and I broke up I told him that I deserved to have have someone adore the snot of me...( I know that sounds romantic but..) I deserve someone that wants to spend time with me and someone who can't wait to see me again! I know I deserve someones TIME, CARE, and ATTENTION! He didn't disagree, he knew that I deserve that, I think he respected that.
I think that Sean and "Mr. X" are definitely capable of giving TCA but, it's up to them and every other man when to give it.
I know I deserve TCA. I can remember my ex-husband telling me once "Erin you require too much attention." I disagree, I just required more than he was willing to give and hence why we didn't work.
And deep down I know that I have so much to offer. I'm not a crazy girl...really! I am sensitive sometimes. I do wear my heart on my sleeve. I give a lot and appreciate a lot. I know that I deserve good things...it's hard sometimes when you know deep down what a great catch you are and you're just waiting for someone great to come along and see it too.