Tuesday, March 18, 2008

WHY DO I LET PEOPLE & THINGS GET UNDER MY SKIN?

I'm a person that sometimes lets the little things bother me when I should just let them go. Sometimes that is easier said than done. When people say things that are hurtful I dwell on them. When people don't like me I have a hard time with it. When a situation gets out of hand, I don't feel good until things are smoothed over.

For instance, there's a particular person I went on a few dates with. When I see him around town it's OK. But then something he says gets under my skin...almost like he tries to piss me off. He always ahs to get the last word...very mature BTW! I mean this guy will send me random text messages telling me that I'm bitchy and write me messages under different names in response to my blog and say things like "No wonder you can't get a guy." Now some people may just blow it off and consider the source. I let it bother me.

Now granted, I don't dwell on it too much but it still is hurtful. Funny thing is, I think he thinks it's funny! Not sure how being emotional abusive is funny! I think he's a guy that likes to tear you down and then look like a hero when he tries to build you up again. Like I'm not going to notice the part of him that's an A$$-h*L#!!

Another instance, when I call someone that I really want to talk to and they don't all me back. I wonder stupid things like "Oh why aren't they calling me back?' "Do they not like me?" Most people would probably think..."Oh they must be busy." And that's another thing, If someone doesn't like me that bothers me. Most people would probably chalk it up to a matter of it being their loss. But I take it personally.

Why can't I learn to let things just roll off? Why do I take things so personally and to heart when I could have a lot less stress if I didn't sweat the small stuff? So how do you learn to just lets things not affect you?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dearness, I am with you on this one. I hate it when people don't like me, especially if I have done nothing wrong to them. I guess I just see myself as a nice guy and don't understand it when other people don't see it that way. I guess it's a good thing though because it shows that you care, which is way more then alot of other people in this world do! And be happy I like you! :)

Trevor said...

Guys like that have itty bitty wee wees. Same guys who drive Hummers and big tricked out trucks. Compensation, they have to feel bigh somehow, whether its abusing women or driving a muscle car. Poor guys. Did I mention that I drive a 4 cylinder hatchback? You know what that means? Good gas mileage, yeah.

Ashley said...

Erin, I can't stand it when someone doesn't call me back. I write it off as one of the rudest things ever. So don't feel bad that you take that personal, I do it too.

As far as the guy, he seems like a major d-bag (and I never use that word) take it with a grain of salt. He isn't worth your thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I used to take it personally when I would come across someone who didn't like me. Then my dad gave me some good advice: "If EVERYONE likes you, then something is wrong with you!" There are so many types of people in this world and some personalities just don't mesh with others.

deedee said...

Erin- Let it go sister. People have busy lives these days, they are not trying to be rude. Life is too short to let things like this bother you. Really!! It will help you in the long run.

Mishka said...

I'm the same way--and even as I'm letting all the little crap get to me, I KNOW I need to just let it go... it's unfortunately a very frustrating world--with a lot of self-absorbed people in it--and it doesn't make it easy to disregard when something blatently rude or (like the guy you mentioned) intentionally antagonistic is constantly bombarding you.... I guess all us "overly sensative" types can do is keep endeavoring to not let it all stress us out... (sigh~) Oh, Well! ;) But, no--yeah, keep away from psycho-stalker guy... sounds entirely into manipulation--and that sort of crap makes all of us guys look bad......

Anonymous said...

girlfriend, your young and still in the learning process of deciding who you want your friends to be. He will not be one of them to seen with you around town. Once you choose who those special people are for you, the problems you have will slowly disappear.Pick and choose wisely!Let all the others go!

Pete said...

I agree with what Trevor said, he probably has other issues and has to do that to make him feel good. Don't know why anybody would want to be abusive though. That is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

I see this is an old blog, but thought I'd comment anyway. I would encourage reading two books. The first is The Four Agreements...one of the agreements is to not take anything personally. The thing you are taking personally usually has to do more with the person delivering it than it does with you. The second is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. All this stuff of taking things personally is really your ego and this books talks about separating yourself from your ego...because after all, it's those kinds of thoughts that cause our suffering. If you can learn to be aware of the thoughts, but not identify with them, you will suffer (emotionally) so much less in this life time. Hope this gets to you Erin.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me that you are having nothing to do with this guy any longer. He sounds a bit bizarre and in need in mental help. I wouldn't let someone like that in my life. Tell him not to contact you and move on!

Regarding men who don't call you back-- they are not 'busy'. They are players. Sorry. The guys who are truly interested-- will call. Again, move on to someone worthy.

Susan said...

I think this comes with age, I used to worry about everything people said to me, but now I usually just blow it off. Or maybe it's the Zoloft.......

Rebecca said...

ahhh...in your absence on blogging, i see you've approved some more comments. i also noticed another "brialliant" (I might add, Lol!) person on here, talking about The Four Agreements! LOVE that book...that's why I gave you my copy (and now my mom bought me another one). How many times have I told you about taking it personally? (and I am NOT saying that in an "i told you so" way.) The same applies to match boy. As much as we loved him, he has his own reasons for the split, and you must not take it personally. It's HIS LOSS!!! Sorry hon. Hugs