Monday, February 25, 2008

WINTER DOLDRUMS....I'VE GOT'EM!!!

I never thought I really let the weather affect my well being but, since January I have felt really down. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest where it is famous for raining all the time. And I have to say, I never in all of the 24 years I lived out there felt like I ever let the weather affect me. I mean, I'm a pretty sensitive girl anyway. When PMS time comes around I cry. If someone hurts my feelings I cry. I never thought I cried a lot but, compared to some of the girls I know...I seem to cry a decent amount.

I really noticed my sadness hitting me around Christmas. I was in Paris...alone. Which wasn't that bad. In fact, I liked the fact that I was in a foreign country doing it all by myself. At the same time, I kept thinking how it would've been nice to have someone there. Honestly, I was usually so busy walking around getting lost in the city to really pay attention to being alone. I met some great people on my trip...it was great!

When I came back it was New Year's weekend. I hung out with the girls. We all got dressed up and went to a big party. Everyone of the girls I was with was txt'ing or calling their current man squeeze or ex man squeeze...EXCEPT FOR ME! No one called or txt'd me nor did I txt anyone. It kind of made me sad. I felt for a second like I wasn't thought of.

Since then, I've been in and out of a funk. This summer when Sean and I broke up I was sad for a few months. Then I thought to myself, "Sean is probably WAY over me, he's probably dating, or more with girls...I need to get out and date!" So I went out on a few dates but, it never felt right. So whatever. Now flash forward a few more months...it's winter, cold, and dark. I feel sad. Sometimes I feel non-motivated. Although, I still make it to the gym at least 4 times week. I mean seriously, you should see my apartment. I have an office that needs to be put together. Yet, I don't want to do it! My clothes are everywhere...it looks loke a squater lives in my apartment.

Lately, I've been trying again to see what's on the market...yet...still not feeling it. I've been wondering...is there something wrong with me...or is it just this weather?

Sometimes I wonder if the weather combined with changes in my life recently are just now coming to a head. Moving here to Milwaukee alone, breaking up with Sean, getting a divorce all within 2 years without much wiggle room may have something to do it. Then, add the weather, my skin being dry, and the split ends!! I'm kidding. All I know is that I need some sunshine fast!!

Any suggestions on how to keep the blues away? I'll tell you retail therapy is not working!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dearness, all that you need is some real love in your life and then the sun will shine again, nothing here on earth will make you feel better then true love! P.S. your x is still a loser for making you feel like it was you that need to change for him! J/E :)

Anonymous said...

Dearness, I will take your blues away! Every woman need to be pampered by a good man once in awhile. You know make her feel like she's the center of the universe! :)

Anonymous said...

You may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). A real condition brought on by lack of sunshine. They have lights you can buy where you just need to sit in front or near them for a portion of the day. Google it and see what you think.

Ashley said...

Erin, I am in and out of the funk too.

Snow again in STL today...sucks!

Summer will be here soon! I am counting the days!

Anonymous said...

I think you need that gay boyfriend! If a gay guy can't cheer you up, who can't? (Speaking from experience).

busterp said...

Too bad you have to get up so early. You should have access to all local concert tickets. There are a lot of good concerts that come thru town.

My daughter saw Foo Fighters last night as an example, got great pictures and met the Bear's backup quarterback. Not bad for one night (from Illinois and a Bears fan).

(You're one of the 5 stations I flip thru on the way to work even though your station has changed alot)

Anonymous said...

Your ex certainly does suck. Fitting in can be tough sometimes, but your personality should pull you through. Sounds like you have a good core group of friends here and in other places you've lived. You're going through a lot of change right now but once you get settled in everything will work out for the best. Sounds like you need a GOOD man in your life, the hard part is finding him. When it's right, it will all fall into place.