I never thought I really let the weather affect my well being but, since January I have felt really down. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest where it is famous for raining all the time. And I have to say, I never in all of the 24 years I lived out there felt like I ever let the weather affect me. I mean, I'm a pretty sensitive girl anyway. When PMS time comes around I cry. If someone hurts my feelings I cry. I never thought I cried a lot but, compared to some of the girls I know...I seem to cry a decent amount.
I really noticed my sadness hitting me around Christmas. I was in Paris...alone. Which wasn't that bad. In fact, I liked the fact that I was in a foreign country doing it all by myself. At the same time, I kept thinking how it would've been nice to have someone there. Honestly, I was usually so busy walking around getting lost in the city to really pay attention to being alone. I met some great people on my trip...it was great!
When I came back it was New Year's weekend. I hung out with the girls. We all got dressed up and went to a big party. Everyone of the girls I was with was txt'ing or calling their current man squeeze or ex man squeeze...EXCEPT FOR ME! No one called or txt'd me nor did I txt anyone. It kind of made me sad. I felt for a second like I wasn't thought of.
Since then, I've been in and out of a funk. This summer when Sean and I broke up I was sad for a few months. Then I thought to myself, "Sean is probably WAY over me, he's probably dating, or more with girls...I need to get out and date!" So I went out on a few dates but, it never felt right. So whatever. Now flash forward a few more months...it's winter, cold, and dark. I feel sad. Sometimes I feel non-motivated. Although, I still make it to the gym at least 4 times week. I mean seriously, you should see my apartment. I have an office that needs to be put together. Yet, I don't want to do it! My clothes are everywhere...it looks loke a squater lives in my apartment.
Lately, I've been trying again to see what's on the market...yet...still not feeling it. I've been wondering...is there something wrong with me...or is it just this weather?
Sometimes I wonder if the weather combined with changes in my life recently are just now coming to a head. Moving here to Milwaukee alone, breaking up with Sean, getting a divorce all within 2 years without much wiggle room may have something to do it. Then, add the weather, my skin being dry, and the split ends!! I'm kidding. All I know is that I need some sunshine fast!!
Any suggestions on how to keep the blues away? I'll tell you retail therapy is not working!