Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I personally believe that people have 2 different types of hearts.

First there is the "GUARDED HEART". This is the type of heart that I have. In my opinion, this is the person that enters most relationships very cautiously. They try to take things slowly. They make sure that this person they are with has their best intentions in mind.

In most relationship or dating situations I've entered, I've done it with my guard up. In my relationship with my ex-husband I remember thinking..."ok what do I think of this guy?" In my relationship with Sean I remember being very cautious for several months. Actually for the first 6 months till he said "I Love you.” Then that's when I let my guard down. In the first few months that we dated I thought to myself "Should I be dating anyone in particular? Maybe I should date around? Is this guy good to me? What is this guy all about?" I then realized that he was indeed good to me and good for me so I let myself go for it. I went into that relationship slowly with my feelings and more and more I spent time with him the more and more I liked and appreciated him. Something else that I think a person with a guarded heart does.

Now that I'm back on the market so to speak, I again have the cautious, guarded heart. Apprehensive of whom I let in and what I let happen. I admit, that I've let my guard down before I should but, I've figured out really quickly to rectify that and not let it go on any longer. Now, the only problem is how to stop it from happening in the first place. Obviously, you're never going to really know what you're getting into all the time but, I guess that's the chance you have to take sometimes. There is that saying that 'It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.' It's a little hard to swallow at times but I get it.

Now the 2nd type of heart is the "OPEN HEART". This one I would almost call carefree or worry free heart. This heart will jump in to every relationship head first. They throw caution to the wind and let romance and lust among other things, take over. I think this heart is also the heart that falls fast at first but, gets bored quickly and disinterested. Almost like when the honeymoon period is over then they want to get out because it's too normal. It also is the heart that enters relationships and once they're over they can move on and chalk it up as "Oh well, too bad that didn't work out!" I think a lot of men have this heart. I know a guy named Earl that is his way. He actually told me once that when he has a break up he literally says "OH WELL!" Now maybe he is like this because girls always fall all over him. In fact, I've heard from a good source that a girl has NEVER broken up with him...he ALWAYS breaks up with them!!! It's maybe a little easier for him to have that attitude since it's almost guaranteed that he'll have another girl in a matter of time.

Maybe it's easier to have this type of heart when your heart has never been broken. Once I asked Sean if he's ever been broken up with and when he said no...I remember thinking "Oh Dear, He always is the one to get out...I see a pattern here." I then asked if he had ever had a broken heart...He thought for a second and his reply was "Well my heart was broken when you told me that you couldn't go to Hawaii with me." Which I did end up going...but still that's the only time? WHAT? He never felt a loss when a relationship ended?

So which heart is a better to have? The "GUARDED HEART". That protects ones self almost too much at times. Or is it better to have the "OPEN HEART" that dives in head first without much thinking before or afterwards? It's a tough one because it would be nice to have good combination of both. A smart, loving heart.


Anonymous said...

You need to go to the party tonight at "Bad Genie Rock Lounge" starting at 6:00 pm. The party is hosted by Lisalist.org and is called "Be my Naughty Valentine Party". It doesn't matter if you are single, married or in a relationship, they through it would be fun just to do something different than your usual romantic dinner!

Erin Austin said...

I got this email off myspace and I thought I'd share....

I think I have to say I'm guarded, not that that means anything as I fall in the who are you category. In any case, I'm a little surprised that there are only 2 options to choose from. Secondly, what do you think there are more of between the two?

I have a question for you ..... let me set it up a bit, and no fair labeling me a whacko without more evidence:

There are those that say you can meet the opposite sex at a supermarket. I'm a bit skeptical, but mainly because I'm famous for being intimidated by the opposite sex .... just in the approach phase. I'm a talker, but lack the guts to put myself out there. So, here's the meat of the issue, no pun intended: If meeting a girl at the supermarket is a possibility, does it matter what type of supermarket you go to? I shop at Pick 'N Save, Sendiks and Super WalMart. If you were out shopping for veggies and bread and wanted to pick up a side of opposite sex encounter, where would you shop?