Thursday, February 7, 2008


There's a song that came out by Ciara called "Like a Boy" and it talks about all the things that a guy does to a girl. Only thing is, in the song the roles are reversed.

I can think of at least of couple of things that I wonder how it would feel to do if the roles were reversed and sometimes I just wonder what it would be like.

I can think of a lot of guys...actually...almost every guy I've ever come across that can have sex with a girl and not care. WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE SEX AND NOT CARE? Now, I'm not talking about random girls they don't know but, girls they are friends with or have at least tried getting to know. Guys can just have sex and not care about the girl. Even when a couple breaks up. He has moved on!! Wouldn't be nice to have the detachment? Do you what you want and not care!

How about when a girl calls a guy and he'll get back to her when it’s convenient for him. WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE A GUY WAITING AROUND FOR YOU TO CALL? Sure he may like you but he's got to do his own thing right now and he'll call you back when he's got nothing else going on. It’s like there's no sense of urgency. He'll just get around to it.

How about dating more than one person at the same time? WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE GUY ON A STRING? If a guy does it, it's pretty much expected and if a girl does it...well you know what they say. It's usually not very nice. Why can't 2 play that game?

Or when a couple breaks up, it seems that the girl always is a little more affected. I know that's been true with and some of my girlfriends. And it seems like the guys move on without even caring. They never cry about it or sit at home on a Friday night because they just don't feel like going out. They moved on before you can say "FRESH MEAT"!! For girls I think we have a period of mourning. I think I'm still in mine...hey I'm working on it...with guys, there is no period of mourning. MOVING ON!!! WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO NOT CARE?

I recently went on a few dates with someone and after I told him I didn't think it was going to work...a week later he was already getting booty calls from his "regulars"!!! AWESOME!!! STAY CLASSY!

WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE IF YOU MADE A GUY CRY? Now granted girls...we're sensitive but can you imagine if a guy wanted to see you and you canceled at the last minute and they got upset and cried. I can't even imagine. I haven't experienced a guy so much as missing me or just getting upset over me. Let alone crying over me. Sure my ex Sean cried when we broke up but I think he cried because he felt bad...not because it was hard for him or he was going to miss me...I think he just felt bad that he was doing it.

Just imagine for a moment if a girl could away with the stuff guys pull on girls. Funny thing is, this is only part of the list. I have more that I will share but for the time being, chew on this and tell me what you think!



Fellow Single Girl in Mil Town said...

Um, well - we know someone who can turn that switch on and off, and I'm still baffled at how she does it. Maybe I'm more of a sensitive flower than I thought - but I hear ya, 110%! If women 'play the field' without a care in the world, they're totally labled (our friend excluded, of course!!) by society.

I think, however, that there can be a right time and place for such behavior (on all counts, or examples you give). I have this young guy I know, who had been cheated on twice by his gf. He said, "I wish I could just be a player and not care". I couldn't believe I gave him this advice, but I said - "you're young, and have plenty of time to find 'the one' some oats, have some fun...." Depending on the stage of your life - as long as you're 'careful', there is nothing wrong with doing just that.

However - I've witnessed the sensitive 'girlie' in you, too. So I'm not sure you could be that way even if you tried. And trust me, that's NOT an insult.

An Observer said...

Just an observation, but maybe it is your attitude towards men that has left you single and wanting more for so long. Deep down you want men to fail, so you can say, "see, I knew he wasn't good enough. I knew he would let me down."

Maybe it is the company you keep. I don't know about the rest of your friends, but "rebecca" sure seems to help fuel the fire with her feelings towards men too.

Attitude is everything, and perception is reality.

Rebecca said...

Wow! Mr. Observer...Let me take a chance to defend myself, here. First of all, I don't "men bash", and most certainly do not encourage Erin to, either. To each their own, I say. As a matter of fact, whenever she and I (or along with our other girlfriends) discuss topics involving men - I always give her my "devil's advocate" thoughts to ponder, or a 'guy's perspective' (after asking my guy friends for their thoughts on the topic). Also - it's impossible for me to "fuel the fire" to her [on my feelings for men] due to the fact that I have little at all to tell Erin that would be negative/fueling about the last couple of guys I've dated. I most certainly give credit, where credit is due. They treated me well the whole time we were together, and they were/are wonderful men. But, I did have issues with and questions in regards to the way each of them went about the break up (one, for instance, came out of nowhere), and how both of them have acted towards me since then...but that's about it. (Hence, Erin's thoughts on how men can just turn their feelings 'on and off', and then move on to "Fresh Meat" just moments later.)

I have never told her how to feel, or act - she is a grown woman. And while I agree with you that the company people keep is a reflection on that person, I do not believe that I am a bad influence on Erin in relation to her opinion of men. I want her to find happieness as much as the next person. I'd also love for her to find Milwaukee appealing. But, her feelings and thoughts are her own to have. I'm pretty sure that I can speak for her and say that she most certainly does not want a good man to "fail" her, just so she can prove a point. That's completely absurd! She wants to be happy!

I also agree with you about "attitude is everything". Reflecting a positive outlook will generally bring a positive result - including in a relationship. However, "perception is reality" can only be true if one practices what they preach. "Actions speak louder than words", right? Say that you are "perceived" one way in the public eye, but behind closed doors, you are a completely different person. That's not a "reality", then.

Sometimes we women think how easy life would be in men's shoes. With stereotypes and double standards, it can be difficult to understand why men do some of the things they do or react certain ways. If I dated multiple guys at once, for instance, the good ones would run for the hills, and never look back! I think she's just asking how life could be (easier or not) if the tables were turned.

Erin - is that accurate?

Anonymous said...

erin - you didn't happen to be in texas this past weekend?

Erin Austin said...

Sorry Anonymous,

I was NOT in Texas this weekend...too bad I wasn't though. I could've used some warmer temperatures!!

I was hoping to go there in a few weeks with some girlfriends but instead I'll fly back home to visit my best friend and my family!


Erin Austin said...

Dear "Observer",

I disagree with the notion th at I want guys to fail. It's totally the opposite. I would love to meet a warm, kind hearted, put together man that will prove me wrong.

I do sometimes have a sour outlook on men. Maybe it was the way I was raised. From a very young age I was told by my parents that all men wanted to was have sex with me. So it kind of instilled this image that men are just out to use a woman and get what they want.

That line of thinking morphed into other thoughts. That is something I work on daily. It's because of that line of thinking that has made me scared of being hurt by someone.

Granted I know that there a good men out there. My last 2 long term relationships weren't bad persay...but in both cases I left hurt in some way, shape, or form.

Anonymous said...

Wow...quite the lively debate going on regarding this blog. I think that until you are personally feeling good about yourself on all levels, it is going to be hard for you to draw the kind of man you are looking for. Simply aren't putting out the 'come hither' vibe. Not all men are alike, and just as we women don't want to be stereotyped for the way we may look, act etc., I think it's unfair to stereotype men. There really are good ones out there. However, those good ones more than likely share your 'closed heart' and therefore are also gun shy. Give it time Erin...and stop dwelling on the past. Noone else can change your attitude or fix your mojo but you! (I know, I'm sort of commenting on multiple blogs!) And, I think Mr. Observer hasn't really read what Rebecca has written. She has only offered her own observations and support, which is all anyone can do....