Monday, February 4, 2008


A month or 2 ago I wrote a blog about what I thought the perfect guy was to me. I didn't have a ton of time to really figure out what I wanted in a guy. So, over the last couple months I thought that there are certain things that I need in a man and certain things that I want in a man. A lot of these are NOT a suggestion rather something I have to have.

When you start dating, you go through charecteristics in people that you like and don't. And after my last long term relationship I realized that there are qualities about him and that relationship that I don't think I should settle for not having in someone else....does that make any sense?

So here's goes the list.

-You must like to kiss...none of this pecking stuff. If I wanted to just peck kiss I would find a chicken. Seriously, some good kissing can really get things going. Nothing is better than a great passionate kiss.
-You have to like going out and doing random things like go to a wine tasting class, a cooking class, go skiing for the day...stuff outside the box
- A guy that likes to dance once in a while...someone not afraid to spin me around the dance floor.
- He MUST like to cuddle!...If you don't go away!
-'s a must! Whether it's for a weekend or for a full blown vacation! I need to see places
- Someone that can enjoy the finer things in life. Whether it's a good restaurant or a great wine. It doesn't mean you need to drive a Porsche though have to like wine! I don't want to drink alone...that's not good!
-Works out and takes care of'd be surprised on what guys think "in shape" is...I work would be nice to have a partner
- Someone not afraid of impressing a girl...For example, you actually put some thought into a date. Maybe a surprise here and there...if you treat your dog better than me...I'm out!
- Someone that will keep things interesting...In every aspect...If it's gets old it can get boring.
- Someone that has their stuff together...personally, professionally, emotionally, get the picture.
- Someone that can be relaxed in any enviroment...whether we hang at a dive bar, a swanky lounge or want to booty shake at a club.
- Someone not afraid to give a girl flowers or creative surprises.
- Someone passionate in every
- Someone that can put down the cell phone and isn't obsessed with work all the time..I know we all get busy for work...but still.
- He must like fish...I like to cook fish and I love sushi and I don't want to eat alone.
- Someone ready to try new things together...No matter what!
- Someone who will go to Starbucks with me on the weekends. I know it seems petty but..
- Will compliment me...not necessarily all the time. Maybe tell me I look pretty in the morning even if I have sleep in my eyes.

I know that this list may seem a little long and may even come across as a little picky but, to be honest with you, when you're use to being treated a certain way and that way was sweet, thoughtful and nice...why would you want to settle for someone that treated you less than what you thought you deserved. Granted everyone is different and it may be tough to find a person with all these qualities but after having someone try so hard to impress and flatter I can't go back to less than that.

If there is something on this that you may not understand or need to get clarifacation on...let me know. I can always define at a greater length.


Rebecca said...

You Go Girl! hehehe :)
Good for you for spelling it out....sounds a lot like my old profile. For the most part, I received positive feedback from men, stating that it was "refreshing" to meet someone who knew what they wanted. So many men and women "pretend" until the moment of truth. And at that point, one is almost always going to get hurt (because when they thought everything was great....the other never really liked them for one reason or another). At least you're putting it out there - Not Willing To Settle. Nobody should.

However...(you knew there would be one of those, didn't you? Lol!!)...there have been moments where you've been almost too picky....pulling someone "out of the running" before you even get the chance to speak to him. He could be a carbon copy of Sean, but he's lacking one or two things on your list. Now, something like smoking for me, is a definite NO....but are there smaller things that you're willing to give into if not all qualifications are met? You said you'd take questions.......

Anonymous said...

Hey Erin,

It's Linda. Becky gave my your blog site.

Well, I agree that you should not settle for anything or anyone. My ex had so many qualities that I adored....he loved wine (I love wine), he dressed well, (I like a well dressed guy), he was very classy and worldy and could dance the night away with me. On the surface it appeared as if I should have been so happy. All of those attributes in the end meant nothing though. As it turned out he was also unstable, unreliable, verbally (and even on occassion physically) abusive and so I got out. I think I fell for the 'idea' of him, and I overlooked the 'real' him. Then I met someone who was the complete opposite of anyone I thought I would ever be attracted to; at least upon an initial meeting. But, as time unfolded, I realized his good soul and loving nature overrode his not liking sushi. Don't get me wrong....our last disagreement ended in me sending him an email that said how I wish he knew and liked wine, sushi, dancing. (maybe you and I should date..LOL!) I told him I thought I was giving up a lot. After we talked more I realized he is at least willing to go with me to Saketumi and order something else, and he will let me pick the wine and he'll drink something else while I sip my Cab, and although he's not a great dancer...he is willing to try. My point is, I don't think I've settled at all. Love is a give and take and as Becky said; if you automatically eliminate someone based on your 'list', you may be missing out. I'm glad I didn't close that door because I've found someone who, although certainly not perfect, seems to be perfect for me. Good luck to you! Oh, and Becky has stolen my favorite word...'however' I had some trouble conveying my thoughts without using that word once!! LOL!