Over the last few weeks I've just felt weird. As we all know I'm out on the dating scene again. OMG!! Maybe that's my answer!!! Dating!! That is stressful enough. Seriously though. I mean putting yourself out there is tough but we all have to do it. And as I've stated about "dating the bad boy" it is different terriorty for me. My next blog will be about what comes with that.
Or maybe I feel weird because I'm about to leave for a foreign country by myself for Christmas and as exciting as it is, it's also a little scary.
Now let's go with this for a second. This will be the 1st Chrstmas in my adult life, the 1st Christmas where I won't be spending it with anyone. Not a boyfriend, not a husband, not my family or anyone else's family. As liberating as this experience will be, proving that I don't need anyone, there's a part of me that is sad. I'll be in France walking the streets of Paris with just me myself and I.
I always had this dream of Paris. I know this is going to sound cheesy and like I'm a total sap. But my dream was one day to have this totally romantic moment at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I had thought of how romantic would it be to be proposed to there. Now don't get me wrong. I've never been "that girl" that dreamed of having some huge wedding or anything I just dreamed of the proposal. Is that weird?
So now I leave in a the matter of just a week. I don't know a soul there in Paris. I don't speak a lick of french and I'll be there for the rest of the year. I think another part that makes me sad about this Christmas is that I'll have no presents, or noone to have wish me a Merry Christmas. Now some may say that "Erin you could've gone home for Christmas?" True. But my family is not festive and if I was going the non-festive route I wanted to spend it in a completely different way.
Some people have said that are so proud of me doing Christmas this way. I've had others tell me that they "feel sorry for me". When I asked why, their response was because I was going to be alone on Christmas. At first I thought they were ridulous. But now I think I'm letting their opinion affect me. I know that this experience I will embark on will be great no matter what. I'll learn a lot. A lot of history, a lot about a different part of world, and hopefully if the plan sticks...a lot about myself.