Thursday, December 13, 2007

DO I NEED TO JUST RELAX?

Over the last few weeks I've just felt weird. As we all know I'm out on the dating scene again. OMG!! Maybe that's my answer!!! Dating!! That is stressful enough. Seriously though. I mean putting yourself out there is tough but we all have to do it. And as I've stated about "dating the bad boy" it is different terriorty for me. My next blog will be about what comes with that.

Or maybe I feel weird because I'm about to leave for a foreign country by myself for Christmas and as exciting as it is, it's also a little scary.

Now let's go with this for a second. This will be the 1st Chrstmas in my adult life, the 1st Christmas where I won't be spending it with anyone. Not a boyfriend, not a husband, not my family or anyone else's family. As liberating as this experience will be, proving that I don't need anyone, there's a part of me that is sad. I'll be in France walking the streets of Paris with just me myself and I.

I always had this dream of Paris. I know this is going to sound cheesy and like I'm a total sap. But my dream was one day to have this totally romantic moment at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I had thought of how romantic would it be to be proposed to there. Now don't get me wrong. I've never been "that girl" that dreamed of having some huge wedding or anything I just dreamed of the proposal. Is that weird?

So now I leave in a the matter of just a week. I don't know a soul there in Paris. I don't speak a lick of french and I'll be there for the rest of the year. I think another part that makes me sad about this Christmas is that I'll have no presents, or noone to have wish me a Merry Christmas. Now some may say that "Erin you could've gone home for Christmas?" True. But my family is not festive and if I was going the non-festive route I wanted to spend it in a completely different way.

Some people have said that are so proud of me doing Christmas this way. I've had others tell me that they "feel sorry for me". When I asked why, their response was because I was going to be alone on Christmas. At first I thought they were ridulous. But now I think I'm letting their opinion affect me. I know that this experience I will embark on will be great no matter what. I'll learn a lot. A lot of history, a lot about a different part of world, and hopefully if the plan sticks...a lot about myself.

3 comments:

Jeremiah said...

Think of it this way. You'll be in PARIS, one of the greatest cities on earth. Alone or not, it's PARIS!!! Bask in your fabulousness!!!

Doug said...

hey Erin... well it will be memorable right. Christmas 2007 will be one you won't forget...for good or bad. I think it will be great.... think about it... did you see the roads about 2 days ago :) In all seriousness though, it's a chance to explore, open yourself up a little, no threats or excess baggage... it's a nice break. You deserve it.... the show's going good and you have to be ready for some time away!! I wish you safe travels, merry christmas and happy new year!!!

erin austin said...

wrigleycitygal said...

Erin~

I think you doing a solo Paris trip for the Holidays is a great idea. I can see why you are anxious but I'm sure you'll love it. I went to Italy by myself (actually it was a tour but I was the only person who was sub 50yrs old on the trip!) and loved it. I learned a great deal about myself and released my fear of traveling alone. Who knows what you might learn or who you might meet while you are there! Good for you.

I'm turning 40 in Jan and decided to do London w/ two girl friends rather than sit around waiting for someone around here to do something special for me. No one did much special for me on my 30th and I just can't handle that again. Being single in Milwaukee is a big challenge. I recently moved back to WI after eight years in Chicago. I enjoy the slower pace here but where do you meet nice guys in the area w/o doing the bars or match.com scene? So, why not get away. Yes, relax. Stop worrying. Enjoy.

Happy New Year!!