Thursday, November 8, 2007


I've written so many blogs about relationships, men, women and what makes us all tick. For some reason, when I write about this stuff it always seems to reflect on me! Here's the thing...I pose questions about things that come up in conversation with the girls or things that I seem to observe.

One thing that has really gotten my when people respond to my blog and say...."Erin maybe you need to stop looking for GQ models." UMMMM...EXCUSE ME!!! Do you know what my ex-husband looked like? UMMM probably don't!!! Some responded with..."Have you ever dated a bald guy?" YES!!! For your information I have!!! In fact, My husband was not only bald but he wore a toupee when we started dating!!! Now if that's not love I don't know what is!!!

If you think my quest for a great guy includes a guy that looks like Fabio then you're reading far too into this blog then I even write.

Sure do I want a man that I find attractive!! Hell yes!!! You'll NEVER EVER EVER hear of a man that goes on a date with a girl and says that she's "OK looking" and he still wants to date her.....NO...He either thinks she's attractive or he doesn't...END OF STORY! Now does it mean the guy I date has too be that so called GQ model? NO...but I do need to find some attraction.

What else is attractive? I think a man that is considerate, attentive, thoughtful, driven, confident, motivated, funny, sweet, and has a great personality and attractive. There are other things as well. If I stay in good shape I want a man that takes care of himself as well. I'm not trying to be mean or whatever but men always want the candy on their arm....

I know I'm fired up right now. I'm just irritated at these emails here and there that think I need or want a GQ man...please...just know that when I write some of these blogs about relationship situations...that I write about "REAL LIFE SCENARIOS" and I comment on them from my experiences and my friend's experiences!

thanks for reading.


DGR said...


I am a 33 y/o, recently divorced, man who is just now re-entering the dating scene and I empathize with your frustrations regarding the Milwaukee dating circuit. I don't think it is true that there are no single, nice men out here, (or obviously from reading your blog women although I, too felt, the same way about the lack of available, nice women), but it does seem like that sometimes. Having been married for 8 years, returning to the dating scene has been quite a shock. It is definitely nothing like it was when I was in my early 20's! I first learned about your experiences on the morning show which I listen to on my way to work every morning and I have to admit that it has been nice to hear another person's experiences - particularly a woman's experiences - regarding the whole dating scene. It is eye-opening to hear a woman's perspective and I must admit that I would like to share with you some of my own opinions (which as my friends know, I am apt to do:).

First of all, I want to go on record as saying that physical appearance DOES matter, and whoever says otherwise is kidding themselves. I don't think it is fair for men (or other women) to judge you (or anyone else) for wanting your partner to be "attractive." I place the word attractive in parenthesis because it is very subjective and I think that is what people don't realize. What I consider attractive in a woman may not be (and definitely isn't) the same as what any of my friends consider attractive. Even so, the first thing any of us ever notice about another person is their appearance - the rest follows. As one of my professors in college used to say, "Your appearance is the first impression - if it is not a bad one, then people will want to get to know you, otherwise you're done." This is pretty much true of both men and women. In fact, and I know I am probably going to tick some people off with this comment, I really think that men are probably more picky about a woman's appearance than women are about a mans. For this reason, I do not think it is fair that anyone tell you that you are too picky - we are ALL picky (in our own way), or at least should be, after all this is your partner for the short-term or the long-term, and who you pick to be with will reflect on you to some extent... Interestingly enough, and I apologize for going all academic, there have been studies in the realm of social psychology that have actually investigated the aspects that attract individuals of the opposite sex to one another and what they have found is that physical attraction is quite a strong component - "like attracts like." In other words, if you show 100 people multiple pictures of individual men and women (all of them couples in real life who have had individual pictures taken) and ask them to rate the individuals on physical attractiveness and then pair them up, an interesting thing happens. Couples who where rated at a similar scale on physical attractiveness by these third parties where paired together (and in most cases where actually couples in real life) while those that where rated differently on the scale of attraction where not placed together and where not typically couple in real life. In other words, physical attraction IS important and should not be discounted. As such, don't feel like you need to justify to anybody what you want in a man... why should what you want be any less important than what others are looking for in a partner?

This having been said, I have my own gripe about a stereotype that bugs the hell out of me; that men can't express their feelings and emotions well. This is a very bad and outdated stereotype for some of us. I am better at expressing my feelings and emotions than most of the women I have met. Granted, there are more men out there that are NOT in tune with their emotions and are very bad at expressing them appropriately, (what I like to call "Emotionally Regressed" men), but there are alot of women now who have fallen prey to the same "disease." We live in a very "robotic" society where people are encouraged to hide their feelings and emotions because they "get in the way," particularly at work, and since women are in the work force on par with men, many women have adopted this attitude and have become just as difficult to talk with about feelings as men. I call it a "disease" because it seems to be spreading as our culture becomes more "robotic." I really enjoy sharing my feelings openly and feel that it is quite healthy and natural. (After all, machines don't have feelings; I am a human being and part of living is feeling.) In fact, I really think that one of the reasons we are seeing an increase in mental health problems in this country (and across the globe) is precisely because people do not know how to express their feelings well anymore.

Bottom line, Erin, I don't think you NEED to go to Chicago to find men worth dating, just as I don't have to go to Chicago to find women worth dating - the problem is FINDING these individuals. Honestly, while re-entering the dating scene has been a shock, it has also been very enjoyable to meet interesting and intelligent women from different walks of life, and I have been fortunate to develop some very strong friendships with a few of these women (even if the relationship did not develop into something more). And for this I am grateful because life is short. At this point in my life, I truly value some of my friendships as much or more than I value a romantic entanglement. We have to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moments we are able to share with those around us, even if they are only fleeting moments. It has been good to be able to foster new non-romantic friendships with women. My philosophy on dating has changed since the 20's and I now feel that starting a romantic relationship is like starting a wood-burning fire. First the physical attributes must be present (the fireplace, the wood, etc.), then there has to be a spark, and finally, their has to be enough kindly for the fire to roar to life. A romance is the same way. It starts small and builds upwards, but as I stated earlier, without that initial physical attraction, nothing can happen.

Now that I have shared my feelings on this matter, I am content. I know there will be some disagreement with my comments which I welcome. That is what makes relationships (romantic or otherwise) so great - diversity!

Anonymous said...


Well how you talk and right it is all about style and class. You have to realize Milwaukee is not the town of GQism's and I can tell you if they think they are they have to BS'ing you! Milwaukee in my eyes since I have lived here is more about creating the family life, and wanting to be together. I listening to the Morning show often and I have to say Milwaukeeans do not like change. When your show first came to town honestly I wouldn't listen to it. I thought how in the hell could WKTI move Gene Miller and Geno like that. I have always been a 94 Wkti morning show guy. I have to admidt listen to some of your stories in the morning I have laughed and asked geez I wonder if she is on meds for all of this.

I was once engaged, but not anymore she also wanted things that I could never do or offer to do. I have never cheated her, but she did to me. And when she was caught in the cookie jar, she tried to lie her way out and that didn't fly in my world. Here in Milwaukee it is about family values and what we are looking for as a guy. Yes that does mean there are some players out there, but for the most part they are not. I understand your telling the "Real Life" facts that you have encoutered, but honestly you give some dishearting factors. Some of your stories I tend to think are made up, but then I think you need to take your time and figure out what Erin Austin wants. I think it is foolish for you to travel the world alone and not have someone with you, but I wish you the best on that trip and have SAFE travels.

Erin Milwaukee is a great town, if you want to find someone to get to know look for someone that you think you will have a fun time with and someone that can teach you something and someone you teach things as well. I know you have been married in the past, but remember a relationship is a committment and that you can't just jump into one!

Best of Luck


Anonymous said...

this is for 'DGR'...did you get divorced because you finally realized you needed to come out of the closet??? write a book dude!!

erin, you cannot go looking for a relationship...let whatever happens, happen!! taking advice from a bunch of 30 something guys in the milwaukee area?? i don't think thats too good of an idea!! everyone wants to say something that will make you say,"that guy knows what he is talking about, i want to date that guy!!" you happen to be a hot commodity in the milwaukee area...single and looking, attractive, known (well atleast for KTI listeners) and attractive!! did i say that twice, its well deserved!! take your time, have some fun...good things come...!!