Tuesday, November 27, 2007

SHOULD YOU DATE THE POSSIBLE BAD BOY??

As I get myself out there on the dating scene again, I learn a lot!! Now to give you a small bit of background on me. Like I've said before I have a very limited amount of dating experience. I have no idea sometimes what's the right or wrong thing to do....soooo let me break it down for you. In high school I never had a boyfriend. No boyfriends in college either. Guys just weren't ever interested

Around 19 I started working in radio full time. I met a guy that my girlfriend at a different station worked with and that guy later became my husband. We started dating when I was 20. We married a week after I turned 24. Then we divorced when I was 28. After the divorce, I started going out meeting people. Met a guy...flirted...met out on the weekends but really no dates. Then I met Sean, and he was officially the 2nd guy I've dated. My 2nd real boyfriend!!! Gosh I'm a late bloomer!

Now let's fast forward a bit to the present. As you know I'm on MATCH. I've gone on a few dates with people. All of them have been nice guys. Nothing too crazy. They all have great careers, are respectful, clean cut, have their stuff together for the most part. Or from what I can tell. But no love connections thus far. Recently I met someone who is attractive, funny, is nice to me. One thing though, everyone knows who he is. I mean everyone. I've heard some rumors about him. Some of them are completely outlandish. Some are true, because he admitted to them. He was a different person when these things happened. I can respect that. He realized something was wrong and he changed those behaviors. BUT.....Now, I'm getting to know him, and people I know and some I really don't know want to offer up their info and opinion.

So far in the very short time since I've met this person. He's has been nice to me. Actually sometimes he's kind of sweet. Now does that mean I've let my guard down? HECK NO!!! I'm not a complete idiot! No girl wants to be the girl that dates or is interested in a bad boy and everyone knows it except for her....but also I'm not going to go off half cocked with every story that comes down the pipeline!! It would wrong for me to assume anything at this point and certainly not fair.

So ladies have ever you dated a bad boy...sort of bad boy...or a boy that people loved to talk about?

It's a new chapter in dating for me so let's enjoy the ride!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you should go for it girl. He treats you right, that is all that matters. And if he's hot, throw caution to the wind. Good Luck. You'll probably see the highest highs, but maybe the lowest lows, but it could be worth it.

-DD

Anonymous said...

Erin,

Don't believe everything you hear. Believe me when I say that. I was once the "bad boy" you refer to, at least I think. If we traded notes, I probably did a lot of the same things this guy did. But, as long as that's all behind him, take him for who he is.

When I first met my wife, she heard all kinds of stories about me. Like the guy you reference, some were true and I admitted to them. While she was shocked at some of the things I did, my now-wife also realized that those things were behind me. At the same time, some of the things that had been said about me were absolutely ridiculous and far fetched. There were a few times where what I heard I had done was simply laughable.

Six months after meeting, we were engaged and we have now been happily married for almost 7 years. So, I guess the moral of my story is to not believe the "hype". Find out for yourself who he is. If he's treating you well, why try to find something negative or care about something that happened in the past. What should matter is how he treats you now - not how he might've treated you or others before. Live today, not yesterday.

Hope that helps, even if just a little.

Ben

Anonymous said...

I'm that guy.

Thanks Ben.

Anonymous said...

Since you're my pony. You should go for it.

-Heather

Anonymous said...

I agree with Ben's comment. Just dont rush into anything, take it slow and go with your heart

Anonymous said...

Hey Erin,
I heard you talking about this on-air and decided to read your blog. I myself have been in your shoes. I meet a guy that I wasn't sure of, he had that "bad boy" vibe, but one thing led to another and soon we were living in sin. Things went well for awhile (3 years) and then took a bad turn, but never because of his image, sometimes as you know things just don't work out. We spent several years apart and his "bad boy" image grew till it was this over powering ego that consumed him. But he was never hurtful to me; we always talked and promised no matter what to be honest with each other. Things have been rough and we aren't together, as a matter of fact he is engage to someone else, but I know in my heart he never cared about anyone the way he cared about me, bad boy or not. Sometimes you have to hold your breath and take that leap, if its meant to be you'll know, if not you'll feel that too. Don't try to rationalize everything, sometimes you just need to feel things and take a chance. Love won’t find you locked in your closet!
-Stacy

Anonymous said...

Erin-

I think you should go for it with this guy. So what if everyone thinks this guy is the 'bad boy' and are telling you stories- that might have been in a time of his life that either he had no control or did not know how to get out of. Good luck with this guy.

Jessica

rozie said...

Erin I agree. Obviously keep your guard up, maybe somewhat consider things they are telling you but people do change. Everyone deserves a second chance. If we always listened to everyone else we would never be happy! Pray, follow your heart and be honest to yourself. Others might be jealous too, you just don't know the resoning behind their talk, but I agree with the other fella, if he's good to you go with it. People change and God gives 2nd chances. For crying out loud, half the people I tell me past stories to don't believe me, I'm not proud of them, but it is what it is and look at me now. I've changed so much people just can't believe it.
Love you Erin and am praying for you! I can't wait till we can ACUALLY see each other after hmmm 12 years or so???
Rozie