You know the saying "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"? Do you actually believe that? I know girls we sometimes dwell on stuff. I am VERY guilty of this. I worry over too much. I over analyze. I think about what could I have done differently. I especially analyze this stuff when it's getting towards that time of the month...I know TMI!!
The breakup with Sean I still take a lot personally. I sometimes wonder what is the reason that I'm here in Milwaukee? Is it just to further my career? Will I find personal happiness while I'm here? Is there a purpose that he (Sean) was put into my life in the first place?
When I met Sean I was getting divorce. We dated for just a few months and he decided to move back to Texas to be near his ailing brother. I thought for sure that he would dump me then and there. (GUYS NEVER ARE INTO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS) But he didn't and we continued to date. We talked about my career and how I move around sometimes and what business he could start that would allow him to do so. Then conversations turned to me moving somewhere in Texas to be near him.
Well I had an opportunity to get a job at my old station in Austin!! How perfect!! It was doing mornings..which is what I wanted to do. It was in Austin...the same city as Sean! PERFECT!! I thought I had the gig...my boss thought I had the gig! The boss in Austin let me think I might get the gig. And then...my boss tells me that some other girl got the job. Of course, she's blond with big boobs..not sure how that translates to radio but whatever!!! I was disappointed for sure. But I also thought that it was OK because I think that eventually I would have gotten bored with that job because it wasn't challenging.
Then comes this job in Milwaukee. I have to say all of it happened so fast. And the saying when it rains it pours is true. At the same time this job came up, so did a job in Dallas. I thought "Wow this is AWESOME!!! Sean is moving to Dallas shortly maybe we can be in the same city again." Well, the job in Dallas didn't give me much to go on. They were thinking of making changes but they weren't sure yet on when or who or what. The job at KTI was ready tomorrow. In fact, if I got the job they wanted me to move in a couple of weeks. Well, Dallas wasn't ready. Milwaukee was ready and it was a great opportunity. I had to take it. Funny thing is, I cried when I got the job. I was scared for so many reasons. Will I do well at my new job, will I get friends, and what will happen to my relationship?
So, about a month after I moved here, Sean broke up with me. It hurt and somehow I knew it was coming. Not necessarily by his actions or things he said...I just knew. I knew he would check out. He had decided that he needed to change careers. And selling airplanes was more to him than I could be.
So, why was I up for 2 different jobs in the same city as him? Was it some cruel joke that life or GOD played on me? Seriously, what was the point? What is the reason that things just never worked in our favor? If things aren't supposed to work out...why do they happen in the first place?