Recently I've come to terms with being the person that someone would just call when they wanted something from me. They would call me when they had no other girl around at the moment. They would call when they needed...uhh huh!
It took me a second to figure it out. I mean with all the calling to see how I was and wanting hangout to the I'm sorry I've been such a donkey's rear end to you. I think it was misleading for sure. Then I had an epiphany. Several weeks ago on a Wednesday night I was out enjoying a happy hour with 2 of my best girlfriends. I missed this call from a number I don't know and then hear the VM and it's you know who. Calling to see how I was and how I've been. Well, I was busy so I wasn't going to call back. Then about an hour later I get a txt saying, "What U been up to?" I thought that was rather odd. Why would he be blowing me up? Was he REALLY just wondering how I am? Or was he laying the ground work to get something?
Needless to say I never called or txt back. I chose choice #2. He was probably looking to get something. You know I find especially interesting, is that it's been a couple weeks later and he has never called or txt again. Gee I wonder why? I find it interesting that if he was so curious on how I was doing wouldn't he care enough to call back? I guess not!!!
What I find even more interesting is that this person was the same person that called me to say he was sorry for treating badly and wanted to be friends. Does that mean being friends on his terms? When he wants something? When HE has time for me? When HE is lonely?
The reason this bothers me and I bring this up is because I told him and his friends that I was scared of him hurting me and using me. I even said for him not to do that to me!! You know the line I got..."Oh Erin just be patient with him, he's really a good guy." You know that maybe true....but he was not a good guy to me!
I move on but I wanted to share this story with people in hopes some people may open their eyes to how you treat people and how others may treat you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
PUTTING YOURSELF ON HOLD
Have you ever done that? It doesn't even have to be love life related either. Maybe you put your education on hold to have kids or get married. Or maybe since you got married you put your career on hold. I know I've put my self on hold in several areas of my life.
When I was younger I put my career on hold because I got married. I followed my husband around for his job. Now, I always did end up getting work but it wasn't as fulfilling as I'd hoped. Then again, whose to say that if I remained single and did my own thing I would've ended up any farther along. Things always worked out and I learned a lot in the process.
I've also put myself on hold for having a love life too. After a breakup I would hold on to hope that the person might change their mind. I would shy away from dates and guys because in the back of my mind I thought "What if?" "What if they realize what a mistake they made?" Seriously? What's that about? Or if I went on a date I would in the back of my mind hope it might not work out. How stupid is that?
I've had enough of this behavior out of myself. I decided awhile ago that this was insane. Do you know the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. No more letting myself wonder "What if?" So, what if they change their mind? It's not like I haven't given them enough time or chances. I need to respect myself a little more. Why not go on that date? I bet he's not putting himself on hold!
You know, I've actually got a date for the first time in awhile and we'll see how it goes. I'm nervous. I hope I don't jinx it. Even if it doesn't go well, at least I can say I didn't sit around waiting for the "What if?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry. OK...well maybe at myself a little. For being the girl that didn't just move on and give something else a shot.
When I was younger I put my career on hold because I got married. I followed my husband around for his job. Now, I always did end up getting work but it wasn't as fulfilling as I'd hoped. Then again, whose to say that if I remained single and did my own thing I would've ended up any farther along. Things always worked out and I learned a lot in the process.
I've also put myself on hold for having a love life too. After a breakup I would hold on to hope that the person might change their mind. I would shy away from dates and guys because in the back of my mind I thought "What if?" "What if they realize what a mistake they made?" Seriously? What's that about? Or if I went on a date I would in the back of my mind hope it might not work out. How stupid is that?
I've had enough of this behavior out of myself. I decided awhile ago that this was insane. Do you know the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. No more letting myself wonder "What if?" So, what if they change their mind? It's not like I haven't given them enough time or chances. I need to respect myself a little more. Why not go on that date? I bet he's not putting himself on hold!
You know, I've actually got a date for the first time in awhile and we'll see how it goes. I'm nervous. I hope I don't jinx it. Even if it doesn't go well, at least I can say I didn't sit around waiting for the "What if?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry. OK...well maybe at myself a little. For being the girl that didn't just move on and give something else a shot.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
FLAKES...DEALING WITH HUMAN DANDRUFF
We all flake out on things from time to time. We make plans with someone and then at the last minute we cancel for whatever reason but usually it's just because you don't want to keep the plans we made.
Some people are bigger flakes than others. Some people don't even know they're flakes and well...some people just don't care that they are. I know several types. In my life I've encountered both men and women that are. Funny thing is, when people flake out on me it's usually because they get a better offer. Sometimes, I get very little warning too.
For instance, when I've encountered guys that are flakes they wait til the last minute to spring on you the change of plans. Like a time where I had my boyfriend coming to visit me from out of state and he canceled a few hours prior to his flight to tell me that he wasn't coming. Or the time I had a date go to a baseball game with me and my friends and about a half hour before he left the game early is when he told me that he had to go in such an all fired hurry. Just so you know I don't speak to either one of those people anymore.
What makes me mad is when people flake out on you and leave you high and dry. Plans to go to dinner, shopping, hanging out, whatever it is, these are all things you could do by yourself sure but, you had plans to do them together.
Girls are flakes a lot of the time. I have one friend that flakes out on me I would say 40% of the time. The reasons could very. Anything from a better offer, a better offer from a guy to, at the last minute changes their mind.
Maybe part of it I just need to get over. Because sometimes there's nothing you can do about it. Although, what I find interesting is that I feel like people flake out on me all the time and don't really feel bad, but if I did the same to them...I'd hear about it for sure!!!! And when people flake out on me I rarely say something because I don't want to rough up the waters.
I know that there are things I don't really want to do, or it's slightly inconvenient for me but I do it anyway because I said I would do it.
So how do you deal with the flake? If it's the flake that does it all the time then it's easy, You make plans with them and just expect they'll call with an excuse. But the person that flakes out half the time is tricky. How do let them know it bothers you?
Some people are bigger flakes than others. Some people don't even know they're flakes and well...some people just don't care that they are. I know several types. In my life I've encountered both men and women that are. Funny thing is, when people flake out on me it's usually because they get a better offer. Sometimes, I get very little warning too.
For instance, when I've encountered guys that are flakes they wait til the last minute to spring on you the change of plans. Like a time where I had my boyfriend coming to visit me from out of state and he canceled a few hours prior to his flight to tell me that he wasn't coming. Or the time I had a date go to a baseball game with me and my friends and about a half hour before he left the game early is when he told me that he had to go in such an all fired hurry. Just so you know I don't speak to either one of those people anymore.
What makes me mad is when people flake out on you and leave you high and dry. Plans to go to dinner, shopping, hanging out, whatever it is, these are all things you could do by yourself sure but, you had plans to do them together.
Girls are flakes a lot of the time. I have one friend that flakes out on me I would say 40% of the time. The reasons could very. Anything from a better offer, a better offer from a guy to, at the last minute changes their mind.
Maybe part of it I just need to get over. Because sometimes there's nothing you can do about it. Although, what I find interesting is that I feel like people flake out on me all the time and don't really feel bad, but if I did the same to them...I'd hear about it for sure!!!! And when people flake out on me I rarely say something because I don't want to rough up the waters.
I know that there are things I don't really want to do, or it's slightly inconvenient for me but I do it anyway because I said I would do it.
So how do you deal with the flake? If it's the flake that does it all the time then it's easy, You make plans with them and just expect they'll call with an excuse. But the person that flakes out half the time is tricky. How do let them know it bothers you?
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