TODAY I TURN A NEW PAGE

 

Today I turn a new page in my life.  Yesterday 9/10/20 was my last day on 100.3 The Bull in Houston and on 99.5 The Wolf in Portland.  

This was a day I dreaded thinking about.  Honestly, sometimes I would try to envision what it would feel like and how I would react, but when I would try and go there with my thoughts, I would get a lot of anxiety.  I often would think about what my next moves might be and what I could do.   Part of my anxiety stemmed from where I am in my life.  I'm a single woman in my early 40's.  I have no husband to share an income with, no backup plan or partner, and no family close by or any family able to really help if I needed it.  No one takes care of Erin's bills, but Erin. The other part of my anxiety stemmed from the current state of the business and the climate of the job market. 

My Journey

My journey to Houston started on August 3, 2009, when I drive down from Milwaukee to Houston to take a new job at KILT-FM doing mornings with Hudson and Harrigan.  While the opportunity was a pay-cut, I knew that sometimes you need to take a step backward to make that make that leap forward.  

In that time of working at KILT/The Bull, I was started off doing Mornings, then middays, then afternoons, and then back to middays where I stayed for the last 5 years.  I survived numerous rounds of layoffs, 4 different bosses, and made it through the sale of a company.  

I’ve had so many great experiences. I’ve met so many great people including listeners, artists, clients, and coworkers.  I’ve learned so much in my time here.  I’ve had some really great moments.

I don’t know what the future holds.  Frankly,  that part scares me a lot.  I haven’t quite been in this position before.  The times in my career where I found myself really needing to finding a job, I was lucky to have had things work out just in time.

The first time was when I was 20 working in Portland OR at KUPL.  I was full-time Production Assistant and part-time on-air.  I came in one day and part of my position was eliminated.  My salary and benefits were gone.  I was left with part-time on-air at $12 for 6 hours a week.  It was at that time my roommate moved out and the rent was coming due soon.  Luckily, I knew I wanted to be full time on-air so I had applied for a job in Eugene.    Within about the same week of that all happening, I was offered that job in Eugene and was on my way.   I always look back and believe that God was really looking out for me at that moment. 

The next time was when I was in Milwaukee.  I was on 94.5 WKTI, a legendary Hot AC station starting a morning show that was coming on after the beloved long-running morning show Reitman and Mueller.  Mathew Blades in The Morning was the new face of KTI and the uphill battle began.   I thought we had a great show.  I loved my co-hosts Mathew Blades and AJ (aka now known as Marco) and I loved our boss Bob Walker. 

Unfortunately, our show was only given about a year before the company decided to flip formats on the station and we were out.  My saving grace was that I had a “No cut” contract.  Since the company was in financial trouble they wouldn’t pay out our contracts. Instead, I came in every day for 8 hours and walked around the 2 radio stations and the TV station to see if anyone needed anything done.  That lasted 6 months or so until finally landed my job here in Houston. 

Both of those situations were ones where I feel lucky.  I feel like things worked out and someone was looking out for me.  I’m hoping that this time I still have the same luck and blessings. 

Just a couple of weeks ago I was celebrating National Radio Day and my accomplishment of being with the station for 11 years.  I, for once was tooting my horn of what I’ve been able to do in my career.   I was proud to have made it at the station I loved for as long as I did, and was proud of the fact that I’ve been able to work in a business I love for as long as I have.   Like I said in my National Radio Day post, “ Despite what is happening, I’m so thankful that I’m able to do what I do for a living after all these years.  As a child that would sit in her bedroom at night listening to scratchy AM radio, to the teenager that would call the DJs and win all the prizes, my obsession became my profession.  That’s something I’m pretty proud of."

I know that a rollercoaster of emotions lies ahead. 

Am I scared? Absolutely.  

Am I sad? I’m heartbroken.  

Am I worried? Yes without a doubt.  

Am I questioning myself? I'm fighting the self-doubt, but I’m a bit lost at the moment.  

I feel as though I’ve had a death or I’m just going through a really bad break up that I didn’t see coming.  I had no idea this would be my situation today.  Part of me wishes I did so that I had time to absorb the reality and have a plan going in my head.  However, life often hits you when you least expect it.  

 

I’m so thankful for all those that I’ve worked with over the years at KILT/100.3 The Bull.  I’m thankful to those that hired me, believed in me, fought for me, and encouraged me. Without their help over the years, I wouldn't have made it to this point.

I also want to thank every person that has reached out, called, text, and gave me words of encouragement.  In this time of uncertainty, evaluation, and self-reflection, I appreciate every bit of positivity and love I can get.  

I don’t know what my next opportunity will be, but I know in my heart that I have so much more to offer and I have many more talents that I still have to share. I don’t want to believe for a second that this is my last day in radio or on the radio.  Whatever my path is to be, I pray that God, the universe, or whoever is listening, will help show me my way and I’ll be able to shine.