Tuesday, June 10, 2014


It's the moment when you first meet someone and you form an opinion and mental image of that person and what they are like.  Most times this happens in face to face encounters.  However, with the world of online dating you also make first impressions.  Here's an instance where one person can say something inappropriate and the person receiving also makes a bad first impression.  One of the people I'm talking about is myself.

Over the course of me getting on and off dating websites, I've received some interesting emails.  Some of them can be inappropriate.   Some of them also just turn inappropriate.

I received a message from a guy that I had minimal contact with prior to the message up for discussion.  Up until that point everything had been "Hey how are you?' How was your day?" Then a week later I get an email that asked me "What are the odds you'll get laid this weekend?"  My first thought was, "Who does this guy think he is?"

I told a couple girlfriends about the message and they were floored as much as I was.  We all wondered if this is what dating has come to.  Were all men like this?  Were all the men on dating websites that claim they're looking for a relationship really just looking to get laid?

Part of my job is that I Facebook and write blog posts for work and my work website.  I posted about this situation on Facebook and most people were saying that it was a douche move.  And I'll be honest, I initially agreed with them.

Now fast forward a bit.  I respond back to him with non approval.  Asking if he was just trying to laid.  He claimed that he was just trying to flirt. To which I responded that he needed to work on his flirting skills as well as his delivery.

"The normal Erin" would just blown him off after that, but he kept messaging and things turned normal.  He started asking normal questions and seemed genuinely interested in me. I thought there was a great connection starting.  Well, this is where those first impressions go terribly wrong.

You see,  my first impression of him wasn't a good one.  However,  I thought he recovered quite well. Maybe he was one of those guys that did just have a terrible opening line.  I had moved past it.  Although, there was something still out there that said otherwise. There was that Facebook post and web article for work I had written based on my first impression of him.   

One of my biggest obstacles with my job and being single is that every guy I date Googles me and forms an opinion based on the "public Erin" vs. the "private Erin." Most times they don't take the time get to know the real Erin.  They see what I do for work and are never to be heard from again.

Well, this guy Googled me and found the post that was inspired by his bad opening line.  I tried to explain that we both made a somewhat bad first impression. Him with his bad pickup line and me with my web post for work.  I apologized profusely for my part.  I never meant to hurt his feelings, or upset him.  I accept my part of what happened, but he has not spoke to me since and I doubt he ever will.

Needless to say, even though my initial reaction might've been correct and he might've been in it for one thing, it's my bad impression on him that has made him take off...apparently.

We learn from this and move forward.  That's all we can do at this point.


Anonymous said...

Guy sounds like a waste of your time and energy, and you didn't do anything wrong Erin, reality of a committed relationship is what scared him off no doubt, and from what I have heard online dating is a real minefield of bad news you don't need, but still all the same trust in your feelings and self belief :)

Anonymous said...

this guy sounds like a waste of your time and energy, and you didn't do anything wrong, reality of a committed relationship is what scared him off im sure. And online dating is a minefield of bad news you don't need, but trust in your feelings and own self belief :)

Glenn said...

He wants you to chase him.& his motives are less than honorable. Never, NEVER, just settle. And quit looking so hard. It will come when you least expect it.