I've always described myself as "an acquired taste," but I never thought I was that much of an "acquired taste" till just recently.
In the two and a half years of living here in Houston my dating life has been on life support. Part of the reason is because I've been pretty burnt out on dating, but when I do have enough cajones to date I think I freak guys out.
I've always thought that guys deep down want a girl that craps out rainbows, never swears, and acts like the damsel in distress. All of which are things that I don't act like. I say what's on on my mind, cuss like a sailor, and have no problem doing things without your help.
A few weeks ago I had a couple first dates and one of those dates I can say I could tell that he couldn't wait until he was out of there.
I will say I was pretty much myself. Granted, I didn't sit there and tell him penis jokes or anything, but I was very comfortable on being my authentic self.
I'm not sure at what point I freaked the guy out. All I know is at the end of the date it couldn't have been more clear to me that I was NOT getting a call for a second date.
"Wait Erin, how could you tell?" Well, let me tell ya! The first hint was the "side hug" that he gave me when we were saying goodbyes. A guy that gives you a side hug never wants to go out with you ever again.
My next clue was when we were walking towards our cars he was 10 feet in front of me already at his car waving goodbye and I wasn't even close to my car. Yeah, take a minute and visualize how that went down. It's another massive clue that he is never going to call me again!
As I replay parts of that night back in my mind I can't think of why I'd freak him out exactly. I know that I was a bit chatty, but that's who I am. However, I thought I was pretty good at asking questions.
I know my job and blog freak guys out. Although he seemed rather interested in my job. So not sure what freaked him out. It could've been that or a combination of anything.
All I know is that after dates like that I overanalyze everything I do and did, then convince myself that it must be something about me that is keeps these guys running to their cars after our date.
6 comments:
Guys do not want a lady that is "just one of the guys, but has a vagina". That's as simple as it gets. What does a woman want in a man? She wants a manly man, not a guy that is "just one of the girls, but has a penis".
Hey Erin,
My first thought is that if you brought up that your parents were in town, some guys may take that as a "blow off" line. I remember when I was dating a lot and some key phrases, excuses, etc. and be construed as coming across as you're not interested.
Think back as to when and how you told him about your parents being in town. If his demeanor suddenly changed, that could be a big sign that he took it as a blow off line. Much along the lines of "I'm blow drying my hair" etc.
Stick to your "guns", so to speak and just be yourself. You'll find the right one faster that way. Practice not stringing situations out and just move on. So many fish in the sea, the right one without all the baggage will be there for you to find at the right time! :)
Ask yourself, why do you feel the need to constantly cuss like a sailor, particularly on a first date? Unless you two were friends or acquaintances prior to the date, it's just rude to constantly swear around someone you don't know.
Being your authentic self is fine, but no man wants to deal with a woman who has the high almighty attitude of "this is the way I am, so take it or leave it attitude"
Only you can answer what happened on your first dates, so it could be variety of different reasons. If you met them online, then it could've simply just been that the guy felt you were different from his perceived impression of you. Or simply just no chemistry. However, if this sort of first date blowoff is a recurring pattern, then take a hard look at what you're doing. If you constantly cursed during the first date, then that probably was the main culprit as to why the dudes bailed so fast.
So you mentioned that you had a "couple" of first dates. You described one bad date but how did the other date go? I'm guessing it went well but you "blew" the guy off and he's probably wondering what went wrong?
Actually the "other" first date was fine. In fact, I went with him again. Unfortunately, I had my parents fly into town and then my surgery so I haven't touched base with him since after the second date.
I'll have to let him know that I'm alive and woke from my anesthesia.
First I have to say +5 for the use of the term "cajones". Second "I say what's on on my mind, cuss like a sailor, and have no problem doing things without your help" + your sense of humor and personality; every guy is different but I can't think of any other desirable criteria.
Post a Comment