Wednesday, August 3, 2011


We are all imperfect beings. Whether you're born with something than makes you imperfect or if over the years time makes you imperfect, we all have something. God knows I pick out my own imperfections on a regular basis.

I was telling a group of friends about a guy I dated who had an interesting "imperfection," and it got me thinking that I think women are more excepting of men and their "imperfections" than men are of our imperfections. Not saying that all are men are superficial and shallow, but just less likely to accept.

People have called me shallow and other things via this blog. Some have called me superficial, insinuating that I only want to date guys that look like Calvin Klein underwear models. To prove them wrong, let me give some examples of guys that I dated or married and their "imperfections."

1. Follically Challenged

Let's go back to when I was about 20 years old. I met this guy through a girlfriend of mine. We hung out a few times and upon our first make out session I made an interesting discovery. There we are doing the kissy kissy thing and I started to put my hand in his hair. He quickly grabbed my hand and took it away. I thought it was weird but decided to try again. Yet again, he grabs my hand and drags it away.

This is where I stopped and asked him point blank, "Is there something you want to tell me? I keep trying to put my hand in your hair and you're not letting me." He got all nervous and proceeded to mumble a bit before finally spitting out that he wore a toupee. Yep a toupee!!

You know what's funny I married that guy!! (Wonder if the new wife knows he had a toupee...would she have dated him back then? Probably not...he had no money back then.) In fact, after dating awhile I started to style his piece for him. So on Monday morning I would help him style it and he would keep that style till I came back into town the next weekend. Now that's what I call love!

2. It plumps when you cook it

I'm not sure how to really talk about this one considering the way I found out but let's try. Several years ago there was an older guy I had been seeing. He was a good looking guy in great shape. In fact, he was incredibly active. Riding his bike for miles even in the cold weather. Running 10 miles a day. This guy took care of himself.

So one night we're getting a little frisky and I notice something that was a bit out of the ordinary. At first I asked if he had "3" of something. When he told me it was "whatever he called it" I shrugged it off and moved on.

The next day he confesses that what I discovered was something to help him get bigger. Imagine a Reebok pump shoe if you will. Even though I was a little shocked at first and it's certainly is unusual to know someone with that, I was OK with it and didn't care one way or the other. Yet, I know that some people once they found out about that probably wouldn't or couldn't get past it.

3. Hippity Hop

Now this is not a I guy I dated, but he is a guy I worked with who's engaged. When my friend was a little kid he had a terrible thing happen to him. He was playing outside when he was...say 3 yrs old. His leg slid under the fence at the exact same time that his neighbor was mowing his yard. Needless to say, the lawnmower won and now my friend wears a prosthetic leg.

You would never know by just looking at him. He walks perfectly fine. Yet, he has a fake leg and has some issue with his other foot. Here's the thing, he's a good looking, funny, and successful guy. He even is a father of a little boy and is getting ready to get married to his longtime girlfriend. (God Bless Her...She waited forever) Point is, his girlfriend was able to look past his "imperfection" when a lot of people may not of.

Like I said earlier that everyone has their imperfections so those 2 examples aren't the only guys I've dated that had something "wrong" with them. The rest probably just have something mental going on.

I believe that most men if they met a woman that wore a wig or had a fake leg probably wouldn't date that chick unless he dated he prior to the wig or leg. I believe that women are more willing to accept these flaws and imperfections more so than a man would. I think there are a lot of people that would judge any of these things and not be able to get past it.

What are some "imperfections" that you looked past?


Anonymous said...

woman can be superficial. there are plenty out there that have a certain checklist that pre-requisites getting to know the real person.
that being said..
i can think of many many guy friends who are FAR from perfect (mentally, intellectually, and physically) but would not even consider dating a girl unless she was attractive (at least an 8).

i have noticed (and i hate to blanket this statement but will because i have seen far to many examples) but men date up and women usually date down. the majority of couples i see, i think, how in the hell did he get her!?
but he did. he does. and he likely will again.

Anonymous said...

An "8" is usually a "3" without the makeup, botox, chi, spanx, and push up bras.That's how ugly guys get pretty women.
Plus, I don't think someone that is missing a limb,is "imperfect". I knew a guy that got injured in IRAQ and his GF dumped him because he was "deformed". I'm a woman and I kind of think you man bash a little too much. I know you have to, because you would not have any stuff for your blog, but don't you get tired of constantly blaming men for your failures in realtionships?

Erin Austin said...

To anonymous #2

What does man bashing and my failed relationships have to do with this blog.

Nowhere am I blaming men for my lack of luck in the luck department.

If anything, I think I am asking a question and maybe shedding light on what anonymous #1 date up and girls date down.

Think about when you drive down westhiemer and there's some old dude driving a Lambo...I bet 9 times out 10 he's got a young, hot, blond in the car with him.

He more than likely isnt that car with a woman his age that's starting to show her age. can think I'm a man hater...but I only write what I see and observe.

Is there exceptions to every rule absolutely...but I write about the majority.

Angelice said...

Ahmen sister I hear ya! I have dated everything except tall, dark and handsome. I have even dated men who can't even afford to pay for the date.

Anonymous said...

Erin, is it wrong that I lust after you? I'm a guy in a relationship and shouldn't even be thinking about you. But I do! Weird, huh!

Don't worry. I'm not the kind of guy to cheat. But if I were I would be chasing you!

Have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

To me it's the opposite: I am the kind of girl who just like you,Erin, likes the Calvin Klein model type of guy. Call me superficial, I like what I like. But, I am the kind of girl who never gets the Calvin Klein kind of guy. I don't consider myself to be ugly or unattractive, in fact I am constantly being told how "hot", "sexy", and "gorgeous" I am. I am tall, blonde, fit, and smart ;).. yada, yada..but I'm def. not the "bimbo" Cali type of chick... So if I'm 'Oh, so Hot" according to the others, then why does it seem that the Calvin Klein guy dates a regular, easy to forget her face/ plain type of girl?
I guess the opposites attract...but then why don't I like the average type of guy?
I guess I need to find my exception.