There's is one thing about me that I'll admit...I'M IMPATIENT! I can't help it. I want it all now! I just moved to Houston but already I'm wanting to be at the top with my job...I want the boyfriend...all of that!
Since moving to Houston I put myself back on Match.com. This is not something I'm proud of. Here's why. Ever since Sean broke up with me 2 years ago...I've been on that site. Most of the time it sat inactive but yet, there I was. AVAILABLE! For 2years on and off I've been on that website. I can't tell you how often I get a guy that has a pic of himself holding up a deer or fish with an email saying he think we have a lot in common. Really? I buy my food at a grocery store and I don't eat things with eye lashes. I'm starting to feel like there is something more wrong with me that I haven't met someone yet.
Now yesterday was a day that would've been big in my past. Yesterday would've been my 8th wedding anniversary if I were still married. I actually get a little sick thinking about what yesterday would've meant. My mom actually sent me a txt message yesterday. It said..."Happy day without an unhappy marriage. May you find your prince who will love you as you deserve soon. Love xoxox." It's a sweet txt because I know my mom wants me to be happy.
It's been 3 years since my divorce and every year since I always know that that day would've been my anniversary. I just talked to a gal here at work asking her if that was normal...she said Aug 1 would've been her 16th anniversary and she still calls her ex and says happy un-anniversary. She says she thinks about it every year. So I guess that's refreshing...at least I'm normal to think about it.
With all of that said, I'm admitting that I'm impatient. Impatient because I know that there's no race per say, yet, I feel like I'm behind. I'm impatient because I know it really doesn't matter who gets married first or who is dating someone and I'm not...I'm just tired. Tired of being on sites like match and having trucker after trucker thinking he's God's gift to women. Or how about that guy at a bar this weekend that told me he had a spaceship??? Ahhh really?
No matter what people say...dating gets old. And...I'm so tired of people who are in a relationship telling me it'll happen. Stop looking it'll happen. Being alone gets old.
Sorry. I think I'm having one of my moment's where I get a little lonely. I think maybe yesterday(would be anniversary,combined with meeting nimrods when I'm out gets me bummed and my impatience grows.
I need a nice glass of wine and maybe a massage today to get my head cleared a little.
3 comments:
Well written blog Erin. I totally felt your frustration with the whole situation. Also, it was good to see a gal bellow out the unofficial warcry of women.... I WANT IT ALL NOW! The main reason i wrote was cuz i chuckled when i saw the ad at the end of your blog was for... trojans. btw, try hittin' up one of the young professional networking events. i think you'll find plenty of grade A beef there
I know its hard "not" to have somebody, but by the looks of this blog, it seems like you are concentrating on finding a guy like its an obsession. Honestly, and I dont meant to hurt your feelings, but if I was a guy and read your blog, before meeting you, I would think you are a bit desperate which is a complete turnoff.
live mindfully.....:)
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