With the beauty of having websites like Facebook and Myspace you get to keep up with friends in your life. Lately I've been keeping up with friends I haven't seen in awhile. One thing that I'm starting to notice is that every one's life is progressing, yet I feel like I'm in a weird holding pattern.
With all of my girlfriends here in town having boyfriends, I've noticed things in their life are progressing. Things seem to be moving forward. They spend their time with them now. They make their plans with them. While, I spend more time alone. Oh well, right? It's the nature of how things work.
Then I found some old friends and co-workers on Facebook. Some of the girls I knew were already divorced, remarried, and had babies. In fact, At least 3 girls I knew were either pregnant or have kids now. Let's see Erin...yep...not even close to having that happen.
I see with some of my friends that they're progressing and they've moved up in their job or switched jobs. And here I am, trying to figure out if I'll find a good job before next May. I feel as though I have nothing to update people on. "Yep, everybody...still single...still looking for a job...and yep still sleeping with my dog." At least I can look forward to the fact that Friday I have a job interview and and it could mean I'm progressing in one area of my life.
Obviously, right now I'm focused on work and where my next opportunity will be. How will I support myself? Will I be able to afford to buy a place or should I just rent? Will I live there for longer that 2 years? These are the things that I worry about. BUT...I can't help but feel like I'm behind.
I feel like my life is in a weird holding pattern and everyone else around me is moving forward with their life and I'm stagnant. I'm playing this weird waiting game. I'm waiting to move for my next job and until then...I'm stuck. I'm not able to move on with the rest of my life till I know what happens.
As much as I'd like to have the next chapter in my life going (boyfriend, married, house, blah blah blah), I feel like I can't date anyone seriously because I'll be moving, and let's face it...long distance doesn't work most of the time. I also feel like I've exhausted all the dating resources in this town anyway. Most guys that are from Milwaukee..never want to leave Milwaukee. And for me, staying isn't really an option. Sure, I could find a job doing something other than radio or TV. But, I'm not ready to get out of the business yet so, why should I stay? I have no boyfriend, No prospects for even a date, so what's the point.
I know deep down that the decision I've made to not date or attempt it, is the best one for me right now. I need to focus on Erin and what's best for her. I've lived most of my life following someone else around. I just hope that once I figure out where I'm going at least I can get the rest of my life going. Before I turn into the 40 year single chick like in Sex and the City!