Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Last night my girlfriends and I watched the movie “He’s just not that into you.” At first I was scared to go see it. I thought that the movie would make me depressed because it would just confirm that every guy I’ve every dated really just wasn’t into me. I mean why don’t I just go fall down on the sidewalk wearing shorts, skin up my knees and then pour salt all over them??? Here’s the thing…I actually learned and confirmed a lot from watching this movie. Here are some of my thoughts. These are not necessarily in any particular order.

Just because you’re in a relationship or married, doesn’t mean that you’re a good catch.

I think a lot of people compare themselves to others that are hooked up. I know that I think I’m a better person than my ex husband yet, he’s got a girlfriend. Guys that I’ve dated that are lame get another girl no problem. There’s a guy I dated for about 10 seconds and he was a complete A$$. He really thought he was something special. He thought all girls were obsessed with him. Guess what? That d-bag has a girlfriend! How is that possible? I doubt he changed from when I knew him…yet that guy can have a girlfriend? So it goes to show, just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s a good guy or good catch.

There’s no such thing as a “spark”.

Guys use this as an excuse. Think about it. When you’re told, “We need to break up…I’m just not feeling the spark anymore.” It’s an excuse. It means that they got bored with you and what to try to get some new tail. Also, it’s an excuse when it comes to dating. Like when you go on a date and the guy says he didn’t feel that spark. It could mean he didn’t think you’d put out fast enough. Also it can mean that lame thing that guys think...that when they met a girl there’s supposed to be fireworks. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FIREWORKS, SPARKS, OR ANGELS SINGING WHEN YOU MET SOMEONE!!!!

People only get back together because they’re bored.

Think of how many couples are on and off. This only happens because at least one of the people in that relationship doesn’t have anything better going on so they call up Ol’ Faithful because it will always be there and it’s comfortable. I can think of a guy that has dated a girl for 7 years….Yeah 7!!! He started barking up my tree and when I and some other girls didn’t show interest…guess what? Back to Ol’ Faithful.

'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "We Are the Rule"
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "We Are the Rule"

Don't listen to your friends' stories where everything worked out.

It might've worked out for them but more than likely it turn out like Chernobyl(Russian Nuclear reactor disaster)for you. So take their stories with a grain of salt and keep in mind they're probably just trying to make you feel better. Because let's face it...you want your friend to be happy.

Never force a guy to be in a relationship or get married if he’s not ready.

You know what happens? He may stay faithful for awhile, but as soon as there is a little temptation…his underwear will be off before you know it. I’ve learned that no matter how much you wish someone was ready to date…they ain’t ready till they’re ready! So no matter how much you like them or think they could be a great catch…it doesn’t matter. I’ve got remind myself of that sometimes.

'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "He's Married"
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "He's Married"

RUN…as fast as you can from any guy that says he’s married or in a relationship…even if he’s unhappy!!

You would think that this was pretty obvious but, how many times have you heard of the girl who starts seeing a guy that says he’s separated/divorced? There’s several ways that this ends up. Example #1 Guy dates girl, guy tells girl he’s going to get a divorce, girl believes him, girl gets sucked in, guy starts missing the ex, the ex misses the guy, guy dumps girl and gets back together with ex, girl left out in the cold. Example #2 Guy tells girl that he has a GF, Guy tells girl he’s wants to break up with GF, guy starts things with girl, girls finds out after months that the guy never broke with GF and they are still together…2 timing the entire time.

Point is…never date a guy that is getting a divorce till see the moving truck leave and the papers in hand!

A guy will never say I can’t stop thinking about you unless it’s in the movies.

Now my girlfriends got on me for this one because I think it never happens. They informed me that they all have had a guy say that to them SEVERAL times. Apparently, I’m the only one that has never had ANYONE EVER say that to me!! Wow I feel like a frickin’ winner let me tell ya! Either I’ve always been with guys that don’t show their emotions…or the more likely scenario…they never think of me or I’m not very memorable.

'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "Never Going to Call"
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "Never Going to Call"


I would think this would be pretty obvious too but, it wasn’t until I saw it on the big screen with The MAC Guy saying it while using an expletive, before it truly sank in for me!! This is so true too. Case in point, recently I sent someone an email…no response. I sent another saying basically, “Hey never mind…but I still owe you a drink one of these days.”…no response. You’d think I’d get it. Then I sent him a txt to see if he was out…no response. Now I did end up running him to him on the way out of a place and he told me where they were headed next but…my thought is…if he really wanted me to come…he would’ve called. He was probably just being nice. Why don’t I get it? If he wanted to hang out with me…he would ask. I should wake up and smell that he doesn’t give a $#!T! Even if I wish he did.

With all the things I've realized and learned, I still trek on. Even though I may feel defeated sometimes that maybe I already had my chance at love, I still hope that one day I will find someone that appreicates my random humour, my semi educated brain, beauty(inner and outer), me in general, and my dog.


Lar said...

Hey Erin,

Well I have read your blog and they are right from mind with your soul. I will state that most I will see the point and agree, still than again I understand what you are saying been in some of the same spots. Back to why this one will feel as I need to say something about this. I haven't seen the move or read the book. The points that you are pointing out are all negative and very harsh to read as a male. So I can’t agree on all the points you have, but can see that some of it males do. I will say that on my side females do that same thing it has happened to me. This just seems that you gave all you can to people and they couldn’t or refused to give back, so I seem that left you thinking or feeling what did I do. As all in all it was them who didn’t give back to you. I not saying that it’s all men or all female this would be the world today a lot of people don’t give a rats butt about anyone but them self. So this one really puts all blame on to men (all) it’s not all men just the ones who make all men look this way. You can say woman do this too I’ve seen it, sucks on both parts but very true.


Erin Austin said...

While I agree with you Lar that not EVERY guy is bad...I call em like I see'em.

And hosnestly I don't think I'm being mean or too negative. Look again at my examples...

1.Just because someone's in a relationship doesn't make them a good catch. Technically that's positive. Because if you're not in one it doen't mean you're a bad catch.

2.the spark...does not exsit. Simple as that

3. People generally get back together when there's no better option available...really it makes perfect sense to me

4. Don't listen to the stories that keep your hopes up. These are generally relationships that are probably unhealthy anyway.

5. Never force a guy in a relationship or marriage...again not negative...but when you force someone into something they really deep down don't want to do...they end up recenting you.

6. Never get involved with a taken man...I mean this one is all about saving you some trouble an future heartache

7.Guys never say they think about you...ok that one is negative...I admitted that in the blog.

8. If he acts like he don't give a $#!T..he doesn't. Have you aver heard the term...If it walks like a duck andit quacks like a duck?

Lar said...

Okay I see your point as you restated them.. I will agree I was the one who was wrong in some ways that I'll say. Thank you for helping me see that a little differnt.

Don said...

Gotta point out that nice, normal, thoughtful guys do exist out there. But when you blog about how annoying unreturned phone calls are and then do the same thing yourself in real life, it's going to be hard to get someone to be into you!

Erin Austin said...

Don...I see what you're saying...touché!

But what if when you go out with someone and they never ask you any questions about you? And you sit through an entire dinner and they don't ask you a single question?

Would you want to go out with that person again? True...they maybe a terrific person...but if someone doesn't want get to know you at all it might make someone hesitant to call back for another date.

Sorry...but I hope that makes sense

Erin Austin said...

Oh and my I add one more thing...the people I speak of that don't call me back are people I dated for a decent amont of time...not just once or twice.

Don said...

I'll bet the guy in question just let his nerves get the better of him. Some guys clam up when they're out with an attractive girl, other guys can't shut up. But I bet it really wasn't as one sided as you think it was!

Jeff said...

Erin, Erin, Erin,

What is wrong with you? You are so bitter. If you would just relax, and let things happen, THEY WOULD!

I know the A$$/D-Bag you are talking about. And he loves his girlfriend, lives with her, and puts her on a pedestal. He did it with the girl before you and would have put you there too if you wouldn't have "forced" the relationship. One of your points, BTW. I happen to know he was really into you, but YOU screwed it up, with your antics, extra-cirricular activities and unrealistic expectations.

Sparks do happen, and men do think about the girls they are really into, and when the girl they are into isn't CRAZY, they get all the things you think don't exist.

Just so everyone is clear, the guy she is referring to is one of my closest friends. He doesn't think all girls are obsessed with him, in fact, he is quite shy and rarely talks to people he doesn't know. I was there for his relationship with Erin and his newest one. I can tell you from personal experience, the common denominator in Erin's "bad luck" with men, is Erin.

Your blogs are insanely one-sided and totally inflated. And if you really were over him and not so bitter, you should stop emailing him. He found happiness, he wants that for you, and you should want that for him.


Are you gonna be big enough to post this? Let the truth set you free!!

Erin Austin said...

WOW "Jeff" If its the same D-bag I'm thinking of...you sound just like him and must be drinking that d-bag's Kool-aid!!!

I did NOT force any "relationship" on him. He made it clear that he wasn't ready for a GF(cuz dating is expensive) and also he liked the fact he had more than 1 "contestant at at time. SOOOO...with that being said...if MY memory serves me correctly...I was OUT!!! No self respecting girl needs a guys attention that bad.

Emailing him please!! You are just as unbalanced as he is. I sent him 1 email..count it 1...telling him that there was a TV show looking for guys obsessed with porn!!! I mean he looked at it everyday!! He was perfect for the show.

As far being over the d-bag in question...actually he's been erased off my list. I never acknowledge to anyone that I ever knew him. You can erase 1 from your list and he is mine. How that for OVER???

And actually I do wish him happiness...cuz God knows you can't find in a bottle or in someone else.

Erin Austin said...

Oh...and hwy would you still read my blog...or him...maybe you boys are the ones that need to MOVEON.ORG!