Last night my girlfriends and I watched the movie “He’s just not that into you.” At first I was scared to go see it. I thought that the movie would make me depressed because it would just confirm that every guy I’ve every dated really just wasn’t into me. I mean why don’t I just go fall down on the sidewalk wearing shorts, skin up my knees and then pour salt all over them??? Here’s the thing…I actually learned and confirmed a lot from watching this movie. Here are some of my thoughts. These are not necessarily in any particular order.
Just because you’re in a relationship or married, doesn’t mean that you’re a good catch.
I think a lot of people compare themselves to others that are hooked up. I know that I think I’m a better person than my ex husband yet, he’s got a girlfriend. Guys that I’ve dated that are lame get another girl no problem. There’s a guy I dated for about 10 seconds and he was a complete A$$. He really thought he was something special. He thought all girls were obsessed with him. Guess what? That d-bag has a girlfriend! How is that possible? I doubt he changed from when I knew him…yet that guy can have a girlfriend? So it goes to show, just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s a good guy or good catch.
There’s no such thing as a “spark”.
Guys use this as an excuse. Think about it. When you’re told, “We need to break up…I’m just not feeling the spark anymore.” It’s an excuse. It means that they got bored with you and what to try to get some new tail. Also, it’s an excuse when it comes to dating. Like when you go on a date and the guy says he didn’t feel that spark. It could mean he didn’t think you’d put out fast enough. Also it can mean that lame thing that guys think...that when they met a girl there’s supposed to be fireworks. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FIREWORKS, SPARKS, OR ANGELS SINGING WHEN YOU MET SOMEONE!!!!
People only get back together because they’re bored.
Think of how many couples are on and off. This only happens because at least one of the people in that relationship doesn’t have anything better going on so they call up Ol’ Faithful because it will always be there and it’s comfortable. I can think of a guy that has dated a girl for 7 years….Yeah 7!!! He started barking up my tree and when I and some other girls didn’t show interest…guess what? Back to Ol’ Faithful.
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "We Are the Rule"
Don't listen to your friends' stories where everything worked out.
It might've worked out for them but more than likely it turn out like Chernobyl(Russian Nuclear reactor disaster)for you. So take their stories with a grain of salt and keep in mind they're probably just trying to make you feel better. Because let's face it...you want your friend to be happy.
Never force a guy to be in a relationship or get married if he’s not ready.
You know what happens? He may stay faithful for awhile, but as soon as there is a little temptation…his underwear will be off before you know it. I’ve learned that no matter how much you wish someone was ready to date…they ain’t ready till they’re ready! So no matter how much you like them or think they could be a great catch…it doesn’t matter. I’ve got remind myself of that sometimes.
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "He's Married"
RUN…as fast as you can from any guy that says he’s married or in a relationship…even if he’s unhappy!!
You would think that this was pretty obvious but, how many times have you heard of the girl who starts seeing a guy that says he’s separated/divorced? There’s several ways that this ends up. Example #1 Guy dates girl, guy tells girl he’s going to get a divorce, girl believes him, girl gets sucked in, guy starts missing the ex, the ex misses the guy, guy dumps girl and gets back together with ex, girl left out in the cold. Example #2 Guy tells girl that he has a GF, Guy tells girl he’s wants to break up with GF, guy starts things with girl, girls finds out after months that the guy never broke with GF and they are still together…2 timing the entire time.
Point is…never date a guy that is getting a divorce till see the moving truck leave and the papers in hand!
A guy will never say I can’t stop thinking about you unless it’s in the movies.
Now my girlfriends got on me for this one because I think it never happens. They informed me that they all have had a guy say that to them SEVERAL times. Apparently, I’m the only one that has never had ANYONE EVER say that to me!! Wow I feel like a frickin’ winner let me tell ya! Either I’ve always been with guys that don’t show their emotions…or the more likely scenario…they never think of me or I’m not very memorable.
'He's Just Not That Into You' Clip: "Never Going to Call"
Lastly…WHEN A GUY ACTS LIKE HE DOESN’T GIVE A $#!T…IT’S BECAUSE HE DOESN’T!!!
I would think this would be pretty obvious too but, it wasn’t until I saw it on the big screen with The MAC Guy saying it while using an expletive, before it truly sank in for me!! This is so true too. Case in point, recently I sent someone an email…no response. I sent another saying basically, “Hey never mind…but I still owe you a drink one of these days.”…no response. You’d think I’d get it. Then I sent him a txt to see if he was out…no response. Now I did end up running him to him on the way out of a place and he told me where they were headed next but…my thought is…if he really wanted me to come…he would’ve called. He was probably just being nice. Why don’t I get it? If he wanted to hang out with me…he would ask. I should wake up and smell that he doesn’t give a $#!T! Even if I wish he did.
With all the things I've realized and learned, I still trek on. Even though I may feel defeated sometimes that maybe I already had my chance at love, I still hope that one day I will find someone that appreicates my random humour, my semi educated brain, beauty(inner and outer), me in general, and my dog.