Monday, July 7, 2008

WHEN YOU'RE THE ODD WOMAN OUT

I'm at a point right now where I feel like I'm in high school all over again. When I was in high school I was always without a boyfriend. My friends all had a guy but all I ever seemed to attract was the foreign exchange students and the pot smokers. So, needless to say in high school and college I never had a boyfriend. Truly, I never really had anyone interested in me longer than a couple months if I was interested in them as well. Especially, since I never put out....I was a good girl.

Flash forward at least 10 years later. I' m a single girl again, with mostly single friends. Most of the time I've lived here in Milwaukee I haven't dated anyone of much significance. I've had the random dates here and there that never went beyond the 1st or 2nd date. And I've dated someone for a few months. When my girlfriends and I go out I again usually attract every lame-o around. I must have a sign on my forehead that says "IF YOU SUCK...HIT ON ME!"

Where am I going with this? Well, as you know I'm as a single as it gets. Since my breakup, I haven't had any dates nor have I had anyone besides 50 year old men ask me on a date. As I tell my friend Ben..."It's as dry as the Sahara." It gets me down a little. Having the opposite sex give you attention is always nice but when all you ever attract is old men, men with rap sheets, and users, it bums you out a little.

All of my girlfriends at the moment have at least an iron in the fire if not a few. One of friends is dating a guy and has a few guys that she is keeping in mind. Another one has met a guy that seems to be absolutely smitten with her. Lastly my other girlfriend has randomly met 2 guys that she will be going on dates with. One a doctor and the other a med sales guy. All of the guys seem to great to far. THEN THERE'S ME!!! Seriously, the last guy that seemed into me we found out that he has been in jail!!!! DEAR GOD!!!!

My girlfriend Marissa told me the other day that I can't catch a break with guys. She said "Erin you seriously have the worst luck." This being single thing would be so much easier for me if I could like a guy. If I could just hook up with people. Problem is, even if I wanted to do that, again I attract D-bags! And I'm not going to waste a number on a D-bag...actually I think I've already done that and NO THANK YOU. Thank God I never see him around town.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that my friends are finding guys that seem to be worth dating. It does suck a little hearing about these guys fawn all over them and sending them sweet text messages. Considering the last guy I dated never sent me a txt like that it really got me bummed. I feel a little short changed.

Even though I'm bummed being the odd girl out I guess it's good that I'm not just dating to date. I never want to be with someone because I'm bored by myself. Or because I need attention that bad. I just hope that I will attract at least some good men one of these days.

6 comments:

LivieGrayson said...

Hi Erin, I stumbled across your blog a while back and was shocked to read so many of my own thoughts coming from someone else! I understand a lot of the struggles you feel with dating. I too kind of have a life coach, and she got on to me for many of the things you posted in this blog - thinking of only attracting certain types of loser guys. I have been doing my best to get those thoughts out of my head and focus on the positive and attracting a guy I want (I too recently made a list). And have actually met a few nicer guys, but just not ones I was that into... Anyways, I know its hard but just keep reminding yourself you do deserve better than these losers and, I agree, its better to be single, than just dating someone random that you're not really that into or just for the attention. Good luck and take care!

Anonymous said...

I understand what you're talking about although ALL of my friends are married or engaged. I literally have NO single girlfriends and haven't heard from my married friends in a while. I'm the one who is always doing the calling and I've decided to stop that because why should I do all the work? A friend of mine who hasn't hung out with me since she got engaged in December had the nerve to text message me wondering what my address was so she could invite me to her bachelorette party. After 6 months of not talking to me why would I jump on that invitation????

Rebecca said...

Awe, E :(
I'm sorry.... You're right....at least when u were dating Mr. X, I still had Marissa, and Chloe to be single with. But, I have been in your shoes before, with my college girls. One got married and started a family immediately after graduation, and the other I got an apartment with downtown....thinking we'd have a wild time being two single girls about town. However, 6 months into our first lease, she met her now husband! Ugh!! We went from sitting on the couch until 4am talking about boys, shopping and such, to me being alone 4 nights out of 7 each week. No fun :(

In that instance, I DID go back to the "10 yr guy" (and that's how he became 10 yr guy....cuz I went back just to have someone in my life.) He should have only been "5 yr guy" - but all I was getting were the "losers", too. So I figured, why not.... "he still loves me". I ended up empty handed, after all those years - he couldn't propose.

so, I think you're walking down the right path. Don't date just to date. Hook up?? Well, as long as he doesn't have a rap sheet.... I mean, a girl has needs, too!!! ;) Lol!!

In our case, there's 4 of us (not 3...down to 2...like in my situation), so I think you have plenty of opportunity to still have many girls nights out. And hey... think of it this way... none of us are serious with anyone at this point! :)

Love ya, Girlie!

Annekerdh said...

Hi Erinn,

Well girl if you could not see that Jesse and Deanna are a match.....How can you see the light in your own relationshis? Just kidding my dear, giving you a hard time, cause I loved Jesse and was so exited for them. I have no life. You know I'll keep looking for you. Have you tried the snowboarding scene yourself yet :)???
Hugs,
Anneke

jim said...

OK, it's none of my business but what's wrong with dating an older guy? I can understand some things, like not having much in common with regards to life experiences, physically he's starting to go, maybe you want to have kids and don't want the kids friends saying, "I see your mom but why is she with your grandpa sitting in a rocking chair?" Not all older guys have a waistline larger then their chest or have more hair growing on their knuckles than their skulls. They're probably more responsible when it comes to commitment in a relationship and financially. It's like you said in your last post, don't judge a book by it's cover. You might be surprised to find that they have the type of grounding and maturity that you're looking for....

Anonymous said...

There you go Erin snowboarding and golfing!!!!!! Leave the bar, and gym, guys in the dust. You must know someone that will teach you how to play golf, and snowboard. If not let me know. I know someone that will take the time to teach you!!!!!!!!!!!