You might have heard me talking about it this morning. I was sitting there the other day wondering about this new "single and in a new city" chapter of my life. I was thinking "How am I going to spend my Holidays?" I have no one in my life, no boyfriend, no husband, and my family isn't the most festive. Actually they're not festive AT ALL! And I wasn't trying to sound like I don't like my family...cuz I do. Let me explain.
Why is my family not festive? That's a story in itself. I'll give you a piece of it. Growing up my family didn't have a lot of money. In fact, as a kid we usually got reduced or free lunches at school because of my families income. I can remember collecting cans to buy the basics. (milk, bread etc.) So when it came to Christmas there wasn't any extra money for a tree or wrapping paper. I think my mom saw the wrapping paper as a waste. So most times we went shopping and picked out what we wanted (if we could afford it) and then out in the car it would be "Well there's your Christmas present." Oh and did I mention that my parents looks like something you'd see in an episode of COPS? Yeah...it's pit. I try to help out when I can.
So back to the other part. When Sean broke things off with me, a week later he took a trip to Germany and Ireland. Now, some the trip was with his family and the other part was by himself. He was gone for like a month or so. Nice. Easy for him to not think about us...he's off in another country...feeling free.
So I thought, " you know I've never been anywhere over seas. I've dreamed of what it would be like at the top of the Eiffel Tower...of course my dream included some romantic moment...but whatever right? I could find a little aspiring artist and buy a piece of artwork. Maybe take a day trip to the D-Day beaches. Or go to wine country. Maybe I should spend Christmas over there.
Of course, I could spend my Christmas with another family but if I'm not spending it with my own or the family of the person in my life...why spend it with some random family? I think it would make me more lonely spending Christmas that way. Everyone has there family, opening their presents and I'm just sitting there with nothing. I would feel so much more empty.
In our business we only get to take time off at certain parts of the year. So I think Christmas is a good time...right? I may not have another opportunity. I just know that I'm a little scared. Scared of doing it alone. I feel like I do so much alone as it is. I don't know the language or anyone there. Although,this experience could be very liberating. I've moved to a new city and taken this job without knowing a soul. Maybe I'll discover something about myself while I'm gone.