WE ARE ALL LIKE A RESCUE DOG

I’m a big dog lover. I’ve adopted a dog from a breeder in the past and I’ve rescued dogs from a shelter. I’ve also fostered shelter dogs. The thing about shelter dogs is they have a past. It’s a past that you know nothing about and a past that they can’t tell you about.

You take that shelter dog home and it acts up. It pees where it’s not supposed to. It chews up things it’s not supposed to. It has behavioral issues you can’t explain. You get frustrated with that dog. Maybe the thought that you should take it back to the shelter because you can’t deal with it has crossed your mind. You want to give it back and find maybe another dog that is better and does everything you want it to do. However, did you ever think we are all like that shelter dog?

We all have a past. A past that makes us who we are and shapes us into the person we become. However, our past is something we can tell someone about. Every single one of us has a past that has shaped our thoughts and feelings, whether that past is going back to our childhood or it’s a more recent past. That past, can make us act or feel a certain way.

My dog Silkie is a great example of a rescue dog with interesting personality quirks. I know nothing of where she came from. I don’t even know how old she is. All I know is that when I brought her home from the HSPCA, where I volunteered, the coming months were challenging. She had severe anxiety and would tear everything up. I was at my wits end, but I knew that this dog needed patience and love. Does she still have a little bit of anxiety? Yes, she does, but she’s a good girl and an incredibly sweet and affectionate dog.

So many people now days are ready to cut the cord at the drop of a hat. You do one thing that bothers them and they are out. Some of the time it’s something that is absolute minutiae.

Parts of my past have deeply affected me that have me thinking in a certain way. I act sometimes in a certain way because of how I was treated in the past.  I’m a little more guarded with my heart. Both my past from childhood and more recent past have left a few scars. However, I work on it every day.

Each of my major relationships have things that have either scarred me or have me trained in a way. For instance, my first real relationship was one with my ex-husband. He actually was my first boyfriend.  He was extremely busy with work and when I would call him to say and see how he was doing he’s always would say “What do you want? I’m really busy right now!” Now when I call people one of the first things I ask them is what they’re doing...just in case I’m bothering them. There are few other things that he did that have deeply effected me.  One of those things is the phone.  That relationship started my trigger with the phone.  He was constantly on it and it didn’t matter where we were or who we were with. We could be could be on a date night and he would be on his blackberry the entire time.

My last major relationship was one where I was cheated on and lied to repeatedly. Honestly, that relationship has scarred me the most. I’m scared to trust people.  I often wonder if people are telling me the truth.  When guys are nice to me and seem to be into me, I wonder if he really is. It’s actually pretty sad, because I’ve also developed some habits that I don’t like. I’m constantly look over my shoulder and looking out to see if the person I’m with is doing me wrong. Needless to say,  I’ve become very good at figuring stuff out. Although, I also now look into things too much. Honestly, if people knew just half the stuff I went through in that relationship they’d be blown away that I’m even willing to try and find love again.

I’m very open and aware of what baggage I bring and what scars I have. When I start dating someone, I try to let them know a bit of how I am as things come up. Obviously, the longer I’m with that person, the more they'll find out and get to know me.  The funny thing is, that the people you may date also have those same scars and baggage and either pretend it doesn’t matter or don’t talk about it.  So many people don’t talk about their scars. Maybe they don’t know how, or don’t think that it’s a big deal.

Imagine if we talked about our issues and worked on them, how much better our relationships might be.  Sure, some relationships may still not work out, but maybe if you talked about those scars and worked on things and tried to understand one another better, maybe we wouldn’t hurt each other so much.