Sunday, August 19, 2007

ARE RELATIONSHIPS FAIR AND BALANCED?

I've recently had a few nights out with the girls. Single girls. One married. We all talked about relationships and why the past ones didn't work out. It got me thinking...are relationships fair and balanced?

As I get ready for new adventures in dating(and I'm not ready yet!) I just wonder will it be one sided? Will there be give and take or will there always be one person that puts more in than they get in return?

I know that with my past 2 relationships I felt as if I was more of a giver. Not necessarily monetarily but emotionally. With the 1st one for sure but the last one I think he got bored and quit trying. I know he tried at first, but maybe I was no longer a challenge cuz now he knew I cared. I was no longer exciting for him. Guys try hard to get the girl they don't try hard to keep the girl.

It was interesting as we ladies talked about how and why the relationship didn't work out. He took her for granted, He always worked, he thought the distance was too much...blah blah blah. I started thinking that all of us were unhappy in relationships where we gave more.

I really thought about it. Women wait for the MAN to ask HER out. Women wait for the MAN to call HER back. Women wait for the MAN to ask HER to marry HIM. I could give a lot more examples that follow along the lines with careers and such, but we could be here all day. Now, I know that there are situations where the men are in the reverse roll but it's seems it me there is a book out in stores called "He's just not that into to you" NOT"She's Just Not that into you"

I'm not really sure what the point of me writing this is but maybe it's just to bring up the thought that can a relationship be completely a 2 way street or does one always give more than the other?

1 comment:

Peter said...

It's fairly easy to spot the takers in life. I am like you in that I seem to be a magnet for them. I too am a giver and eventually you get tired of giving and getting nothing back. And I don't necessarily mean money and material things.

My ex sounds like your ex's. What she wanted more than a husband was a second income. She was up to her eyeballs in debt and was looking for someone to bail her out. Being in the education field, she should have known I'd never make the type of money she wanted in a husband. Bith of us worked, but she divided everything into her bills and my bills, her money and my money (which she also claimed part of).

I'd love to fins someone who can give as well as take — in every way.