Wednesday, March 28, 2012

WHERE DO YOU FIND PEOPLE TO DATE?




How many times have you heard from your friends that are married or with somebody all their suggestions on where you should go to meet someone? The grocery store, church, a charity function is what they say. What they don't tell you is that more than likely none of these places are where they met their mate. So, where are you supposed to go and meet people anymore, besides the Internet??

I started thinking about this after an encounter at the store the other day. I was doing some bargain shopping at Ross when a guy said, "Excuse me." I was a little startled and started thinking "What in the world is this guy going to ask me? Is he going to ask me for money? Does he need help?" I had no earthly idea and I'm sure he could tell by the weird look my face might've been making. He then said, "Can I give you my phone number? You can use it if you want or you don't have to, but I would like to take you out. I think you're beautiful."


UHHHH What? Wow! That's not what I was expecting at all! Again, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but not that. I awkwardly started scrambling for something to write with because I had no idea what to do. I got his number even though he's not really my type and walked away thinking about that whole scenario.

First thing I thought was, "Wow that took some serious balls to come up to me and say that." Next thing I thought was, "I appreciate him offering his number instead of asking for mine." It made the whole thing less awkward. Lastly, I admired his confidence. It also had me thinking, "Boy, you never see men do that anymore."

When is the last time you had a guy approach you like that? Anytime I've had something similar happen it's been where a guy walks up to you and asks for your number and makes you feel on the spot. That guy giving his number and then having the confidence to say, "I'd like to give you my number and you can you it or you don't have to." was a nice change.

On my way home I started thinking, 'Where do people meet anymore?' How do you ever find someone besides online, at work, at a bar, or at school?

Let's see, I'm not in school. So that's out. Although, I guess I could go back for a few classes. There's not a single person that I work with that I'd ever want to see naked, so that's out. Every guy I've met at a bar has never turned into anything that's lasting or meaningful. (Not saying that it can't happen, just saying the odds are stacked pretty high against you.) So, online is what I have left. Well, not to pour salt on my own wound, but since Mr. Dallas and I broke up over what...4-5 years ago? I've pretty much been on match.com, jdate.com, pof.com, eharmony.com... (just about every dating website known to man) for about 4 years. So far, not a ton of luck.




I'll admit that I'm shy when it comes to approaching guys I'm interested in. Usually I try to crack some joke because I'm nervous and then it goes down in flames. Or they have a girlfriend, or they hit on my friend after I walk away. (that happens a lot)

Where do you meet anyone anymore? I wish I could say the gym, but it hasn't worked for me. I wish I could say church, but I'm sure God doesn't want me using his house as a meat market. I wish I could say a charity event, but those guys usually come with their WIVES!!!!

Where have all the single people gone? According to this map...there are a lot of men in Houston and Texas in general. WTH? (they're probably are all into blonds)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

AM I BITTER?




The other day I had an interview for a dating reality show. No it wasn't for "The Bachelor." In the interview they asked me about my past relationships and what my dating life is like now. One question that stuck with me after all my story telling was, "Erin are you hopeful about love or do you think you're just bitter?' Ouch!! That stung a little. However, it made think. Actually it made me paranoid. I starting wondering what I come off like to people.

I'll admit, there is a part of me that is bitter. Although, there are several other parts of me too. Let's start with the positive.

I am hopeful about finding love. I mean, why in the world would I still keep looking? I still keep trying. I still throw my money down for my match.com membership. I still look for an attractive guy when I'm out. Granted, My tenacity has faded, but I still keep hoping and praying to sweet baby Jesus that all my effort isn't in vain. Hell, I still write about love in this blog. If I'd given up all hope on love I'd probably start writing a blog about knitting sweaters.

I'm part cynical. I've seen too many of my friends and heard too many stories where girls were cheated on or where the was some shadiness going on. I guess I think I'm no better than they are. So why wouldn't that happen to me? Maybe the other part that makes me cynical is I've been friends with a lot of boys that behave badly and know how they treat girls.

I'm scared. I'm absolutely petrified that if I let someone in that they'll just hurt me. That's actually a reoccurring dream I've had for years. I remember when I was married having a dream where my ex would do something to hurt me and when I would confront him about he wouldn't care. I had that dream a lot over that course of the marriage. When I dated Mr. Dallas I didn't start getting that dream until the end of our relationship.

Since I haven't had a long term relationship in years I haven't had the dream a lot. It's happened a few times, but usually the person is faceless.

Now, I'm sure there are a few people reading this thinking, "Wow this girl sounds like a hot mess!" And I'm sure there is a t least one person reading this that is saying, "I totally get it. You sound just like me." Whatever way you perceive me, know that there are many layers.

My bitter side. I have some bitterness towards my ex husband. It started when one of the reasons I wanted to get separated was because he pretty much stopped having sex with me. Then he immediately started banging some young college girl that worked at Old Navy. (Maybe he wanted the discount.) That made me bitter.

After my divorce I wanted to find love again and maybe get married again someday. I found it for a bit but it didn't last and I found myself back at square one. Since then I haven't a relationship last more than a few months, while my ex husband has gotten remarried and has a family. Mr. Dallas has been in one serious relationship after another and for all I know he could be engaged. Things that both of them told me they didn't want, but now have or are well on their way and I'm no closer to it than the day we split. My bitterness is because I don't understand why. Why do they have something that I want when they acted like they never wanted it, yet I want it and can't seem to find it to save my life?

It just doesn't seem fair and I have a hard time with that. So, am I bitter? Maybe. I am I hopeful? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. Am I fearful that I may never find true love and that there isn't someone out there for me? Yes. Without a doubt. Does the long wait to find him make me impatient and sometimes doubtful. Yes. And that long wait combined with past experience makes me a probably bitter about love. Although, I'm still gonna try and find it.

In the meantime, let's enjoy a good bitter bitch song.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

ARE WOMEN ALL CRAZY?





If you were to ask a man of course he'd say yes. Men think anything with a vagina is crazy. And I'll say that we can get a little wacky at times, but I also think that most times woman act crazy it's because a guy made them that way. Kind of like the Miranda Lambert song 'Baggage Claim' that has the lyrics, "Behind every woman scorned is a man who made her that way."


If you're a single woman and have tried dating a guy that's been married before or has children, he'll say that the woman in question woman is crazy. In fact, I think most men married in the past or not will say that one of their exes is crazy. Why is that? Has it never crossed one man's mind that the reason she may be a tad bit wacky is because of him?

So many times men have a "ehh it's not important" type of attitude. When women are the types of people that like the details. If only men would pay a little more attention to detail, then we wouldn't be so crazy or be such nags. What's so funny to me is that when we hear from a guy that his ex is crazy, we automatically agree with him. Instead of waiting to see what her side is.

I know that when I went through my divorce it was the first time in my life where i ever experienced panic attacks. I felt as though I couldn't catch my breath. Like my head was spinning. It sucked. However, I never felt as though I was out of control. I just felt frustrated because I couldn't understand what went wrong and why he had such a "screw you" attitude.

Women have a tendency to get more emotional when it come to the end of a relationship. Especially when we're the one getting dumped. Men move on and move forward, but women sit and wonder what we did wrong. We sometimes obsess.



HERE'S THE THING THOUGH.

Despite the fact, that women can act a little wacky and obsess about things; why is it that men are the ones that commit most crimes and are the most violent offenders when it comes to crime? Why is it that men are typically serial killers?


I'm not saying that all men are whack jobs and are serial killers. However, if every guy can declare every woman "crazy" then every woman can call every man...._________fill in the blank.


Why is it that men can have such irrational behavior, (i.e. marrying a woman half their age) and it's all looks pasted and not discussed.

Point is, men and worn are equal whack jobs and are equally crazy. Yet, for some reason women are the ones that get the bad rap. Although, I think most men would say that's because we bled for 5 days and don't die.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I WISH I HAD A REAL MAGIC 8 BALL

We've all seen the magic 8 ball that you shake to get the answer to your question. Usually you ask it a question about your future. Most of the time girls ask about relationships. And most of the time we shake that thing until we get the answer that we like. So what if you had a REAL magic 8 ball that could tell you REALLY what you future was? What would you ask?

I have 3 things that I would ask about. Like everyone I'd ask "Will I ever find love with a real human being? Will I find lasting love?"




People tell you, me, and everyone that once you stop looking for it you'll find it. People say that there's someone out there for you and you'll find them when God thinks you're ready. OK. first of all, not true. If that were the case, why do some people go from relationship to relationship? Because God thinks their ready??? Sorry not buying it. Maybe he'll bring the "right' one into my life when he thinks I'm ready, but I'd like to know if he'll ever think I'm ready. Can I ask the magic 8 ball that question?

People tell me that I worry too much about being single for the rest of my life. That may partially be true, but I think that if I knew that one day I would find love I wouldn't sit here and constantly wonder if I'll be lonely for the rest of my life or wonder what I'm doing wrong that I can't find anyone. I'd like to know that eventually it'll alright.

On the flipside, if the magic 8 ball told me that I would indeed live a life of singleness till I'm old and gray I'd go out and make the most of it. Of course after the initial shock and sadness wore off, I'd be out there enjoying every meaningless man I could find. That and I'd stop putting things in my life on hold because I wanted to have someone else to share it with or do it with. I'd go out there and just do it all.

My next magic 8 ball question would be, "Will I ever be successful in my career? Or Will I ever feel like I've arrived?"




I'm not sure if I'm looking for one definitive moment or just the overall feeling in general. I know that money plays a part to the measure of my success. Not that I make bad money know, but it's not comfortable enough for me for have a sizable savings account.

My last question for the magic 8 ball is "Will I be financially secure or will I always be struggling?




Growing up poor is something that gave me character and an appreciation for the underdog, but it's not something I want for myself or my possible family in the future. I'd love to be able to buy my own place. (Especially if the magic 8 ball tells me that I'll always be single.)

Knowing the future can be a scary thing to some. And trust me when I say I don't want to all my future, but I'd like to know that the things I worry about the most will turn out alright. So if you had a magic 8 ball what would you ask?