It's always so interesting to me how honesty comes so hard for some people. Granted, there are times where you might not want to hurt someone’s feelings, but why can't someone just say what’s really going on? Especially, when the other person is asking you to be honest.
Very recently I went out with a guy a few times. Our dates were usually quick lunch time dates because he had a pretty tight schedule and most nights of the week he was tied up. I thought it was nice. Even though he didn't have a lot of time he tried to at least squeeze me in.
For our third "date" he wanted to know if I wanted to come over to his pool for a bit. The only thing was I was coming from the Texan game and was tailgating from about 8am. I tried to cancel for 2 reasons. 1. I had been tailgating since 8am and didn't think that was the best way for him to see me. 2. He had a kid that he had to pick up in less than 2 hours. I figured we could take a rain check, but he insisted. So I went and met him.
When it was time for him to leave to get his kid he walked me to my car and gave me the classic side hug and said "Thanks girl for coming over." Wait a second!! "THANKS GIRL?" What is that about??
I blew it off and went home to take a nap. After I woke up I thought, "Oh he starts a new job I should be nice and tell him good luck." So I shot off a text message telling him to have a good first day at his new job and I get back, "Thanks girl, going to bed now." Okay!! What is going on here? I had a feeling something was different. I felt like I just went into the friend zone.
The next couple of days go by and I don't hear from him. Alright, he did start a new job and he is busy, but that's the girl in me making excuses for him. Up until that point I heard from him every day and several times a day. So when I get "thanks girl" and crickets I knew this guy was not digging the "Erin Austin."
It may sound weird to some people, but I wanted to know for sure if he wasn't interested. Because if there was something that I did that I can improve on I want to know. Did I not ask enough questions? Did he think I was a little much? Or was he just not feeling me? If there was something that I can change so I don't do it next time, great let's fix it! If it's just a matter of not feeling like we have chemistry then that's cool too.
I was feeling ballsy and decided to send him a text to get to the bottom of it. "Hey, hope your new job is going good. I was having fun getting to know and would like to hang out again. If you think we're better off just as friends, that's cool too."
The response I got back was one I wouldn't have guessed. "I'm about to die, getting up at 5 is for the birds." Huh?? What the heck is that? He completely avoided my questions! Here I am giving this guy an "out" and he can't even take it. In fact, I'm letting get out the easy way by doing it in a text and he still can't even take it!! WHAT THE HECK??
Granted, we only went on a few dates, but if a guy asked me why I was acting weird or distant I'd tell him. In fact, about 2 months ago I went on a few dates with a guy and decided he was just too much for me. I felt he was just too affectionate for knowing me as little as he did. It freaked me out and I told him. At first I was waiting to see if he calmed down on his own, but he didn't and once he asked me why I was being standoff-ish I told him the truth. I told him that if a guy comes on really strong and acts like they're too into me it freaks me out because I'm afraid that they'll change they're mind.
I know the truth hurts at times. And I'm not saying that you need to spew out hurtful truths all the time, but I do believe if someone wants an answer that you should be as truthful as you can. Even if it might hurt their feelings a little. I know I'd like to hear it when I ask for it. Like the dude that called me "girl;" if he would've told me that he was dating someone else. That sucks, but I’ll get over it. Or if he would've said that once he saw me in a bikini he wasn't feeling it. OK that sucks too, but hey you know what? I can work out more if I want to and find someone else that does like what they see. No need to be with someone that makes you feel insecure.
Why are people so scared to tell the truth? Is it because they're afraid to hurt someone's feelings? Are they afraid to lose someone for their farm team? Do they not want to be the bad guy even if there is no bad guy? Where did the honesty go?