THE "F" WORDS WOMEN HATE!

In the English language there are a few words deemed as bad words. Among the female gender there are several other words that aren't usually thought of as offensive, but when we hear them we immediately are filled with anger and disgust!




1. "FINE"

Most people aren't offended by this word. However, when a woman asks the man in her life how she looks and his response is "fine," we tend to get a bit pissy. No woman ever wants to look just "fine." Find another adjective to use when describing how she looks. How about amazing, stellar, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy...I'll even take do-able! Don't use the word "fine" unless you want to be sleeping on the couch that night.

Also, we aren't too pleased to hear it when we ask you how you're doing or if everything is OK. You see, women tend to use the word "fine" when in reality things are anything but "fine." So when you use it we tend to think there are things that are bothering you. You see what I'm saying here?




2. "FRIEND"

No girl wants to be called "friend" when in a dating situation. Most girls would rather be introduced as "Hey everyone meet Erin." vs. "Hey Everyone! I want you to meet my "friend," Erin." #FAIL

When you call a girl "friend" and she's interested in you, you might as well have said, "Hey everyone! Meet the girl that if I saw her naked I'd barf, Erin!" That's what a girl hears when that evil "F" word.

If you've slept with her already and you introduce her as a friend, she'll take that as "this guy only thinks of me as a F$&K friend. (another F-word and double negative) If you introduce her just by her name in that situation, you haven't dug yourself in a hole. #WIN

If you haven't slept with her yet and you call her "friend," then you might as well tell her she's ugly because she now thinks she's in the friend zone and that you don't find her attractive. Again, if you just intro her by name, you have wiggle room on both ends!




3. "FAT"

For obvious reasons this is a bad word! I shouldn't really explain why this makes women furious. There's really no way of making this a positive. Unless you spell fat with a "PH" that has a better feel to it.

For guys there really isn't a easy way to deal with this subject. Almost like you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. If you're girl ever asks you if she looks fat and you say yes...you're screwed. If you tell her out of nowhere that she's fat...then you ruin her self esteem...and are screwed!

The best way to avoid this issue is to compliment her before she goes and fishes for it. If you think she looks good in an outfit, tell her. So when the day comes that she asks you how she looks and maybe it's not the most flattering outfit, you can then say, "Babe I think that other outfit looks better! You look so sexy in it!" That way you're telling her that the outfit she has isn't the best fit but you still think she's attractive. That way you don't have your girl getting all self conscious on you. It's all about laying down the positive ground work ahead of time.

Also, if you actually do think you're girl is fat or gained a few lbs., then make sure that you make it a team effort in a positive way. Suggest healthier eating together, and working out together.


Hopefully this helps...and ladies if there are any "F" words that you can't stand let me know!

DUMP DAY 2011...BREAKING UP BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS

There's never a good time to break off a relationship. One time that is definitely not good is during the holidays. So if you've been wavering on dumping somebody Thursday November 17th, 2011is the day to do the deed so you don't look like a total jerk.

No matter if it's the guy dumping the girl or vice versa, a lot of relationships go down the toilet around the holidays. Sometimes its been festering for awhile, but then when the thought of spending the holidays with them, their family, or buying them gifts and that's when you decide to pull the trigger. To avoid being talked about for years to come, break up now before you become the person that has tarnished the 2011 holidays for them forever.

When thinking about this topic I for one second thought "Wow! That's never happened to me." Then I remembered that's how it went down when I got separated. You see in this instance I was the jerk that ruined Christmas...not only for him, but for myself. I had the "I love you but I'm not in love you" speech a week or so before Christmas. And if memory serves me right I moved out the day after Christmas into my lil 1 bedroom apt.

Despite the fact that I knew we were going down the tubes I still went out and bought him a Christmas present. He on the other hand, was probably hoping that he dodged a bullet. However, when he found out I got him something he hurry up and ran to the store Christmas Eve and bought me...SWEATPANTS!! Yep, at least they were Addidas?

Now I'm sure the ex doesn't really care when we separated, but I think girls hold things a little longer and take it more personally. So, if you've been thinking about dumping the birch and making a switch...you better do it soon. Or you're forever going to be known as the person that shat on the holidays.

Whatever the reason is, may it be that you just can't the sight of them or you're just tired of spending you're hard earned money on their butt...Dump them on the official day if 2011. Dump them now before you let it go on longer and become "that guy" or "that girl."

THE QUEST TO BE PERFECT

People have called me shallow. Some have said that I'm a mean person. They've criticized me for being picky and have even called me a bitch. Even though it doesn't feel good, it's funny because what they may not know is how much I criticize myself.

I constantly struggle with being able to accept myself for who I am and picking apart every aspect of myself. In fact, just today while I was at the gym I got a little emotional as looked across the gym at some girl that was rather chesty and built. As I'm sweating my butt off on the step mill I remember thinking "Gawd, Erin! No wonder you're single! With girls walking around with boobs and a body like that there's no way a guy will ever date you."

I sometimes work out 2x a day hoping that I'll love what I see in the mirror one day. As it is, I look at myself in the mirror daily and pick out every flaw. When I say every flaw...I mean it. I sometimes think about if I had an endless supply of money what would I get fixed on myself.

I even made a little drawing to show people the parts of my body I criticize.



If you can't tell from the fine diagram that I drew for you, let me direct you to every part that wish looked different. Let's go front to back.

1. Nose -- this is a part that I've wanted to change since I was a child. It's crooked and the septum is deformed. (deformed was my doctor's word...not mine)

2. Boobs -- this is a weird one for me because I'm not totally unhappy with them , but I feel that since I'm not built like Chesty McDaniels then I'm not good enough.

3. Stomach and hips -- I just wish it was flatter and there wasn't any muffin top.

4. Inner thighs -- They touch and can't stand it.

5. Ass -- It looks like a road map and I bend over in the mirror to see what it looks like if I were in that special moment.

6. Hamstrings -- Again, it looks like a road map and I've even gone in for a consult with a doctor to see how I might be able to get rid of my cellulite.

When I see girls like Chesty McDaniels I get sad because I start tearing myself apart. I tell myself that no guy will ever like me unless I'm perfect. If I'm not perfect then I'll never be good enough for someone. So I sit there are critique every part that I think needs to be fixed and think about the ways I could fix them. Hence why I work out 2x a day most days of the week.





I think a lot of women feel they need to be perfect. Whether it's induced by our inner thoughts or we feel we need to impress other people because of celebrities that appear to be perfect, women put a pressure on ourselves to be perfect and sexy. Why do you think so many girls send naughty shots of themselves? They're seeking approval and are wanting to be good enough.

I know that to some people (or a lot) I sound crazy. I know there are people that are going to say "OH MY GOD!! If you don't like how you look, what must you think of me!?" Well...it has nothing to do with them. This is about the pressure we (I) put on ourselves. It's the horrible habit I have of comparing myself to others. The self talk that I have in my head that tells me why I may be single for the rest of my life. It's how convince myself that I may never be good enough for someone.

Deep down we all want acceptance, to feel sexy, wanted, or good enough. I know no one is perfect. I hope someone will take my imperfections and still think I'm perfect.