HAVE MEN BECOME LAZY?

I'm not talking in the physical sense or work wise. We all know men work very hard. I'm talking in the sense of dating. Has the modern man lost his touch when it comes to getting a woman? Or has the modern woman made it too entirely easy?

I might've mentioned this before, but I think a lot of women are told by their father when they're young that if a guy really likes you he'll move mountains to be with you. And if the guy really likes you he really try to get your attention.

A common complaint from my single girlfriends is that most men don't try anymore. Men just make the effort like they used to. You always hear the stories of guys going over and above to try and get the lady of his affection. Now it seems that if the guy can't get the girl right away and get what he wants...well like the Jay-Z songs says...On to the next one!




Example #1 - NO DATES JUST HANGING OUT

Seems like the days having having an old fashioned date are over. The days where a guy would take you to dinner are few and far between. And the guy bringing you flowers...forget about it!

Rarely when I go on a "date" with a guy does he take me out to a restaurant. Lately I'm noticing it's more of meeting up for drinks or meeting all of his friends out on a Friday so you can "hang out."

Not sure if it's age thing or not, but some of my younger girlfriends have been going out with guys that either all they want to do is meet in a big group or they think they're gonna be on a date and the guy brings a few of his buddies along.

Example #2 - NO CALLING JUST TEXTING

I know communication has changed a lot since when our parents dated. Heck, they're even different than when I first started dating. However, we still have phones and for some reason men tend to only use them for their texting capabilities.

Remember the days when a guy would actually call you and might be on the phone for hours and hours? Talking about everything and sometimes nothing at all. Now you're lucky if he responds back to your text in an hour. A conversation that once took 15 minutes now takes 3 hours all because it's via text.

And don't get me started on texting and asking girls out. Guys rarely actually pick up the phone and call you to ask you out anymore. Now they just send a text hoping that you respond back with at least "Sure."

I can't tell you how often the texting to ask for a date happens, but it happens too much!

I have a co-worker that tells me NEVER and I repeat NEVER go out with a guy that asks me out by text. At first, I thought that was a bit harsh but after I went out with the last guy that asked me out via text and seeing as how that working out I think maybe I'll stick with the tougher rule for a while and see what happens!

Example # 3 - NON DECISIVE NO PLAN

When it actually turns out that both parties have agreed on getting together then the trouble is guys having no cajones to make a decision of what to do on the date. A friend of mine says that she always finds that guys that will say, "Uhhh What to do want to?"

Her complaint and mine too is, What happened to the guys that would call you to ask you out. Then once you said yes, he'd tell you that you'll have dinner at 8pm on Wednesday at (insert restaurant here) and he'll pick you up.

I know I reference Mr. Dallas a great deal, but one thing I will say he did a fabulous job at was courting me.

We got introduced, he got my number, called me, asked me to dinner, and had a plan. That was the best first date I've ever had!

Even after the 1st date he kept trying. He surprised me with dinner at my place one random night and brought, several bottles of wine, cheese and crackers as an appetizer. A nice dinner from a swanky restaurant, and strawberries and chocolate for dessert. I never had someone put so much thought and effort in. And I haven't since.

Note to men reading or listening...Mr. Dallas got lucky that night!! And that was good too!

I'm gonna finish things with this. Guys may get girls by being a d-bag or treating a girl like crap, but eventually I'd like to think that that gets boring and you want to be with someone you respect.

All in all...men keep trying and please keep chivalry alive!

GETTING RID OF MEMORIES

I was going through a few boxes in my spare bedroom yesterday when I came across a box of stuff that brought back so many memories. It brought back both good and bad memories. As I sat there going through everything, I first wondered why do I still have these things and then I wondered if it's OK for me to still keep them.

I found pictures of when my ex husband and I were together. Some of them I looked so young and naive. As I looked at the picture I just thought to myself, "If only that young girl knew then what she knows now. If I only I was smart enough to realize that there was more to life than what I was getting and if only that young girl didn't put herself on hold for him, where would she be now?"

As I kept digging I found the pictures of Mr. Dallas and I. I found the photo album that I had put together for each of us. All the pictures from our trip to Hawaii, my birthday in Vegas he planned, nights out on the town in Austin where we were having so much fun.

I went through all of the pages and I started to get really sad. Not because I missed him necessarily, but because I missed being somebody that someone cared about. There were so many pictures where he was giving me a kiss. I think the one that hit me the hardest was the picture where we were overlooking a cliff on Lanai. Mr. Dallas set up the camera on a rock and came over and gave me a kiss just in time for the camera to grab it. I miss that.

When I saw that picture and thought of that day and how he treated me and made me feel so appreciated, I started to cry. And as I type this now I cry. I cry because I've never met anyone to this day that has made me feel even half as special and cared about as much as he did.

It's been 4 years since we broke up and I still haven't found that. It's been 4 years since I've had that feeling. It's been 4 years and I still get sad, because deep down I'm not sure if it'll ever actually happen for me. Maybe that's me being negative, but I'm starting to think that love happens to other people and not me.

I just feel a little silly because I still hold on to those pictures and I'm not sure why. I can pretty much guarantee that neither ex I talk about in this blog have anything of me laying around or hidden in a box somewhere. Both of them have moved on and found love or something lasting. Yet, I sit with a box of memories that I stumble upon once in awhile reliving happier times in my head.

I wonder should I go ahead and throw those memories out? When I asked myself that very question last night the answer I came up with was, "It reminds that even if I never find someone from this point forward in my life, at least I can remember and remind myself that at one point in time someone did love me and did care about me."

I DON'T BITE...REALLY!

Every once in awhile I need to explain my myself after I write a blog that's a little rough on some people. People like to tell me how my blog will scare guys off. They even think that it'll scare off the good guys. Which maybe true, but if you know me you'll know that I'm really not that scary.

I will say, that I write blogs about guys and the stupid things they've done to me or my friends. Like I've stated before, I never mention names. I sometimes give guys nicknames, but in other cases I've left it rather anonymous. I mean, if you're one of the people close to me, you already know who the person is. It's the rest of the world that has no clue. They just now know what a douche that person is.

I have always looked at this blog as a release for me. Almost like a diary, except everyone can read it. Hence, why I conceal people's identity. What's troublesome is some people have recently read my blog and have become worried that if the people I've talked were to read that they might do something because of it.

Here's the thing, The people I write about most of the time I hope the read it. I want them to know that I think they're a douche, or a idiot. Like the guy that fell off the face of the planet and got back into a relationship with a chick within a couple weeks. I mean, did he think I'm an idiot and wouldn't put 2 and 2 together? I want him to know that I'm on to him even though his GF is blind.

When I write about that guy or others, part of me wants them to feel bad a little. Or have enough balls to apologize for being a jerk. Even though neither one of those will probably ever happen.

I know that I probably scare off a lot of guys. Which is kind of disappointing, but at the same time all I need to find 1 guy that I like that can handle me. Just 1 guy that's secure enough in himself. Just 1 guy that is up for the challenge and going to treat me well. Just 1 guy that's not shady and trying to get with me and all my friends or co-workers...or half the city of Houston for that matter.

I may scare guys, but really I don't bite. I'm just a girl that wears her heart on her sleeve, and wants to find a guy that can handle Erin Austin. Most can't...so I just keep trying.