I KNOW I DESERVE T.C.A!!

After coming out of this latest relationship I realized something...I'm worth someones time!!


One reason I divorced my ex-husband is because I didn't believe that he had it in him to give me the time...care...and attention that I deserved. He was always so busy with what HE had going on. I can remember calling him up early on in our dating days just to see how his day was. he would answer the phone and say hello...I would say hello back and then..."What do you want Erin I'm really busy?!"


After a couple times of hearing that I was trained to always when I call someone and they answer the phone when I call I ask..."Are you busy?" I"m always afraid of taking up their time.


So when I got divorced I knew that there was better for me somewhere out there. I started dating a few months after the separation but I wasn't quite sure if dating anyone in particular was what I wanted...I met Sean along with some other guys. I knew right away the the other guys...even though they were attractive they were D-Bags. They had no interest in even a date they just wanted to "hang out". I'm not in High School anymore ...so...NO I don't want to "HANG OUT"!!!


Sean was really into me. He surprised me with dinner at my house, took me to a nice restaurant where he asked for all these extra perks. He really tried. It was a complete 180 from what I got from my ex-husband. Even though I wasn't sure about dating just one person, I thought you know this guy could be good for me. So we started dating and things went well til he became preoccupied with his brother. (completely understandable)


Then came "Mr. X". "Mr. X" and I seemed click right away. I cracked jokes and he laughed, We had a good time together, and things were pretty good. He did some sweet things for me, made me dinner, bought me a gift. It was nice. He seemed to be trying. Then rather quickly he seemed to stop try as much. Now let me say that I think Mr. X is a great guy. He's very sweet, funny, he made me laugh. I think he's has a really good heart. Not sure why he stopped trying as much, maybe he got scared, maybe he decided to really focus on his race or both or heck none of the above.


I know that when "Mr. X" and I broke up I told him that I deserved to have have someone adore the snot of me...( I know that sounds romantic but..) I deserve someone that wants to spend time with me and someone who can't wait to see me again! I know I deserve someones TIME, CARE, and ATTENTION! He didn't disagree, he knew that I deserve that, I think he respected that.


I think that Sean and "Mr. X" are definitely capable of giving TCA but, it's up to them and every other man when to give it.


I know I deserve TCA. I can remember my ex-husband telling me once "Erin you require too much attention." I disagree, I just required more than he was willing to give and hence why we didn't work.


And deep down I know that I have so much to offer. I'm not a crazy girl...really! I am sensitive sometimes. I do wear my heart on my sleeve. I give a lot and appreciate a lot. I know that I deserve good things...it's hard sometimes when you know deep down what a great catch you are and you're just waiting for someone great to come along and see it too.

AM I ON THE TV SHOW "THE BACHELOR?"??

REMEMBER THIS GUY???

Brad Womack the Texas hottie from Austin, that broke not just one girls heart, but broke two. We all felt for Deanna, the girl that is now the current Bachelorette. There stood Brad as he told Deanna what a great girl she was but he had to let her go. Even on the reunion show he told her what a great catch she was and that he think of her everyday. When she asked "So you think I'm all those things and you think of me all time but you're still willing to let me go?" He said YES!

How is that possible? Here's this great girl with all these great qualities and he would let her leave and go without a fight. I remember watching that and Deanna didn't get it then and I personally don't get it now! That sounds awfully too familiar.

This is the 2nd time that in recent months that this exact same thing happened to me. When Sean broke up with me he told me that I was such a great catch. I can remember him saying as I'm crying my eyeballs out, "Erin you're so beautiful, you're so funny, you have so much going for you." The only thing I could say was " I'm all those things but you still don't want to be with me.

Then the latest guy I was dating sounded like an echo of Sean. We had only been dating 2 months. Things were going pretty good. We spent a good amount of time together, we were in the stage of getting to know each other. Now granted, he was training for this race he was doing so he was a little preoccupied. Things were going good. He bought me flowers, with a sweet note and then a week later...BAM...WE'RE DONE!!!

What happened? What did I do?

Now some people that don't know the situation may have some opinions. Let me share some of things he thought and told me. He told me that he felt so comfortable around me, that he has fun with me, he loves hanging out with, I'm fun, I'm really funny, I'm smart, I'm beautiful and we click. Yeah he said that we CLICKED!!

So what happened to all of that? He tells me that all of that is true but something changed. HOW? How could it change so quickly?

Maybe men and women are different. I think men wait for the skies to part and angels to sing to fall in love with someone, where women....we just fall. Now I'm not saying I was in love with this guy...not at all. I will say I was actually really starting to like him.

All of the girls I know say that if they found a guy that treated them good, had their stuff together, made them laugh, they were attractive to them, they had a good time together, and most importantly they CLICKED...they would keep them around!!! I just don't get it. If I found all that in a guy I would want to see how things would go and make that person a part of my life...and I certainly wouldn't let them go.

It's not often that you find someone with all the qualities that you want in someone, especially being attracted to them AND YOU CLICK!!! All of that, we had! So how do you really decide something so big in a week? Why can't you just see things how go? Why is everyone in such a rush to decide their future? So why if you found someone with all of that would you let them go?

I know that Deanna didn't understand, and I don't understand. I feel like I'm failing at attracting good men. I know I like good guys...but the good guys keep breaking my heart.

LUCKY ME...ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!!

I haven't been writing any blogs recently because I hadn't had any deep questions that needed to be answered.

I was dating a guy for the last couple months. I thought things were pretty good. We had the same views on things and some we didn't. I liked hanging out with him. I mean for the first time I can remember, I actually was dating a guy that made me laugh.

Well I started to notice a slight change in him. He told me that the IronMan race he was doing he was behind in training for. I asked if it was because of me and he said that it wasn't my fault but since dating me he lost his focus...so he couldn't go out to dinner as much because he needed to just eat broccoli and chicken. I get it...I mean that sucks but it's only a month...right? Then he said that I may take a backseat for awhile as he gets ready for this race. I told him that I supported him and that I understand how important it was to do well...I told him that it maybe a little hard for me to be so patient but this would be good for me.

Then it comes to last night. He comes over, we have dinner and I asked him about vacations and what he's got going on for the next couple of months. Needless to say, he has a lot going on. I felt like it was a laundry list. He asked me why I was asking. I told him that I needed to figure out my vacation time at work and wanted to see if we could do something...even if it's just a weekend. The next thing he tells me is that he thought was a little early to go on a vacation together. WHAT? I'm not asking to meet the family and have babies...I just thought since that a weekend somewhere might be cool.

The next thing that came out of my mouth is was what started the process. I said I had a feeling that he wanted to break up with me but he didn't have the balls to do it.

This is where it gets all too familiar. He said, " I have this smart, beautiful, funny woman in front of me and I don't know what to do." I heard that one before. Sean said the same thing. Telling me as he's breaking up with me how I'm so funny, I'm so pretty, I'm such a great catch but he can't be with me anymore. Is this a complete line of crap???? I mean, If I'm so great, why is it that I can't keep their attention? Why is it that they feel it's better to let me go than try a little harder?

I mean how can he go from buying me flowers last week with a sweet note that "he doesn't take me for granted" to this week not knowing what he wants to do with me.

I know he said that it was just bad timing...is it? Or does he just not want to try? Or is it because there's something wrong with me...or him? I just don't get it. What is wrong with me that I can't keep them around?

I know that I'm a good catch. I know I'm funny, witty, attractive, not a complete head case, a giver (to a fault), and have my stuff together. Heck, I've never committed any felonies, stalked anyone, had a restraining order against me, I don't kick puppies, I cry at sad movies, I'm not in debt to my eyeballs. DID I MENTION I DON"T KICK PUPPIES???

I feel stupid that I opened myself up again. It's hard enough dating let alone finding someone you actually click with and have a good time with and them leaving you hanging.

NEW BLOG COMING SOON!!!

NEW BLOG COMING SOON!!!