JUMPING FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO THE NEXT... "THE MONKEY EFFECT"

I call it the "Monkey Effect" although, some might call it something else. Basically it's when a person has their backup person before they've finished the relationship they're in.  Whatever you want to call it, I've noticed that a lot of guys seem to do this. Granted, I know there's women that do this too, but it seems that as of late, I'm finding more guys that have their hands on multiple relationship branches at one time.

My girlfriend was telling me a story about a guy she had been seeing.  He told her that he likes to live his life like musical chairs, because he'll never be left without a seat.  He then went on to tell her that once he's done with her that he'll have a new chick in 30 minutes.  Yep...he actually said that crap to her.

I've always thought that if you're unhappy in the relationship you're in, you break up and then move on...not before.  Why is this such a hard concept for some people?  I think it's because these people can't be alone.  A lot of people can't enjoy their alone time. Maybe they don't really like themselves.

 I understand that being alone sucks.  Trust me, I get it.  I'm back to being single and I've got nothing going on.  No guys calling me, no dates lined up, and  no prospects to speak of.  Does that suck a little? Sure,  I wish I had some dating possibilities, but I'm being careful of who I spend my time with and I don't want to date just to occupy my time.  My time is precious and I've wasted enough of it.

Why is it so tough for people, men, women, whoever, to finish what they've started before they start with someone else?

I think a lot of people also have a 'grass is greener' mentality.  They can't be happy with what they have. They need constant attention and would rather get it from new prospects, than cultivate the relationship they're already in.   They always think that something better will come along.

I once dated a guy and he told me, "Erin, this is the first time I've never had a backup plan.  I always have something in the picture and right now I don't and it's scary. I'm putting all my eggs in your basket" Well first of all, Thank you? And secondly, I guess that should've been my clue that things wouldn't work out, because it didn't take too long for him to get his backup plan going again.

Having him tell me that hurt because I want to be with someone that really wants to be with me, and I want to know that I AM enough for them. Unfortunately, for some people, one person is never enough and they're always looking for the next best thing. Forming their roster of women so to speak.

If you're in a relationship with someone you should never be sending other women/men flirtatious messages, pictures, or be communicating with the intent of starting something with them.  If you want out, then leave. Don't go and line up your next set of prospects.  It's not how someone should treat another person...just sayin'.

MY LIFE WITH A.D.D. AND DYSLEXIA

I was never a strong student when I was in school.  In fact, when I just think about school it gives me heart palpitations. To this day, I have a reoccurring dream that it's graduation day and I failed all my classes and I don't how or why. 

Over the course of my adulthood, I've noticed some things about myself that I thought I needed to get to the bottom of.  Despite having a great career, I've noticed that sometimes I have a hard time focusing. I seem to get distracted really easily.  Even as I write this, I have a hard time staying on task.  It seems like I always have a million thoughts running through my head at once.

A couple of years ago, I was starting to feel down about myself and that I wasn't smart.  I looked at those around me and it seemed like everyone else was able to get things done, but I struggled. I noticed that on the air, I had a hard time multi-tasking.  I would get sidetracked easily and often felt that I wasn't accomplishing all that I could be doing.  I still feel that way sometimes.

After doing a little research and talking to my therapist, I got tested for A.D.D. Turns out I indeed suffer from it. Having that answer helped shed some light on how I am now with work and how I was in school.

Something else I found out about myself is that I'm dyslexic.  As I mentioned before, I was a very average student at best.  When it came to reading assignments, I would rarely retain any info.  So when it came to taking tests, I was terrible.  I skated by in my classes and thankfully the career path I chose didn't require me to have an amazing GPA.

I often felt as if I wasn't smart.  My friends would talk about all these books they would read, and I just thought how boring that sounded.  People I know are so good at math. I remember a time when someone was discussing a pre-calculus problem and all I heard were numbers and letters and none of it made sense.

It wasn't until I saw an interview with Jennifer Aniston talking about being diagnosed with dyslexia as an adult that I knew I might be in the same boat as her.  In the interview she said she didn't like reading. That sounded like me. Then she said that when she did read, that her eyes would jump 4 words ahead and then 2 words backwards. Sounds like me.  Then, when she was asked about what she read, she wasn't able to retain much of anything. Sounds like me again.

I knew I finally had the answer to what had been bothering deep down all these years.  All these years I had been thinking I wasn't smart, but really I had a learning disability that didn't get figured out till now.  If only we had figured out this when I was a kid, how might my life be different today?

After taking a test with a specialist, he determined that I had a normal IQ and that I was dyslexic.  This made so much sense to me now.  I thought back to how I was in school and how I've been with my jobs. It shed so much light on how I learned. When it comes to learning something in school or work, I need to be shown, reading about it does nothing for me. It also shed light on my performance at work. For instance, when I did mornings and put together the entertainment report segment, I often would stumble over when I wrote.  I would then stumble over my words and sound like I didn't know what I was talking about. When I would do TV and read from the teleprompter, I often would read the script over and over ahead of time so that I wouldn't skip ahead while reading aloud.

In my current job, I noticed that when it comes to things I need to read on the air that I tend to memorize everything and just go off memory when talking on the air.  I'll often close my eyes when I do a break live on the air because it helps me not be distracted by other words I might see and lose my place in what I'm saying. 

There are so many things about myself that now make sense because I finally know the answer. So many of my habits or personality traits now make sense since discovering my dyslexia. A thing like me always running late is a sign of dyslexia...who knew! Having this knowledge about myself has helped me get a bit more confident when it comes to my intelligence.  

If you think you might be dyslexic, I encourage you to check out this website and look to see if you have any of these qualities.

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/common-characteristics-of-adult-dyslexia/

2016 WAS ROUGH...2017 HAS TO BE BETTER!

2016 was a tough year on multiple levels me and many people. I'm ready to see what 2017 has to offer.

The end of the year tends to be hard for me. First, I think it's because the holidays were never really celebrated in my home. Secondly, being single around the holidays is always tough and lastly, because I seem to always be really low on funds this time of year.

There's no doubt that I've had some rough spots in 2016.  My relationship of 2 years ended not just once, but twice. So much for second chances  The good that came from the first breakup was I took a trip to Australia to clear my head and spread my wings a bit.  The trip was amazing and I met some great people and had some amazing experiences.

Then fast forward to the second break up, aka "the final nail in the coffin."   After a small confession and apology, I gave him a second chance.  Things were good for about a month before I felt that he was up to no good again.  It became more and more clear with his less apologetic attitude, his pulling away, and blaming me for things.

That breakup set me back in several ways.  My self-esteem took a big hit.  You question your worth when someone betrays you the way he did. Even though I know deep down it's not about me and it isn't my fault, I can't help but beat myself up a bit.  It still doesn't feel good knowing that there is a person that pretended to care about  me so much, but then would be the person that hurts me the most.


My other setback was financially.  The trip to Australia was one that I really couldn't afford at the time.  Even though I got my flight with miles, I had to pay for my hotel which was a little spendy.  Then, when you add all the activities that I did while I was there, it made that trip a bit of a setback for me.

Once I was back I had more things financially to catch up on. My ex and I planned on moving into together.
I had purchased a bed for us, but once we broke up I decided that I was going to keep the bed instead of letting him keep it.  So that was an expense I wasn't expecting.  Add to that, the other bedroom furniture I bought to complete the bedroom set including a new mattress, I was now thousands of dollars deep in furniture I wasn't planning to buy solely by myself.

Since then I haven't been able to catch on up on things financially.  It seems there's always an added expense that I wasn't anticipating that makes it more difficult for me to get caught up or even make a dent on things.

I've had some other bumps over the course of the year, but it's all good.  I know that things could be worse.
Thankfully I did get a bit of good news to start things off in the right direction financially. Let's hope God brings good things my way in the other areas of my life.  Please Sweet baby Jesus!

I'm hoping that things will start to look up in 2017!