Thursday, July 26, 2012

HOW DO YOU EVER FIND SOMEONE?

There's billions of people in the world.  There's millions of people here in Houston.  So with all the people out there how do yo ever find anyone that is the one for you?



As my birthday hits next week, I think back to my last serious relationship.  It ended right before my 30th birthday.  When I got the "dump speech" he made sure to tell me that I'd have no problem finding another guy. I think the moment those words came out of his mouth he jinxed me.  Since then, I've had a hard time finding someone that makes me feel anything.

When I look back, I never would've guessed that I would have this hard of a time finding someone.  Considering how easy some people make it look. Jumping from one relationship to the next. 

Sometimes when I think about where I maybe in 5 years and the possibility of still being single, I envision people asking me, "How come you're still single? How have you NEVER really dated anyone?" I imagine that my answer would be the same as if I were to give it right now.  'I'm single because it just never happened for me. I never met someone that I liked that ever really liked me back.'

I've lived here in Houston 3 years now and haven't dated anyone more than 2 months maybe 3. And that was when I first moved here.  Flash forward....and sitting still.

I meet people all the time because of work.  I go about and live my life. I hang out with my friends for dinners, drinks or brunch on a weekly basis. Yet, I rarely met anyone that I'm interested in. 

You always hear stories about fate bringing people together by a chance meeting.  Like the couple that met on a flight or at the airport. Or in line at the grocery store. I always end up sitting on the plane next to the fat guy taking half of my seat and in line behind the 80 year-old woman writing a check.  I just don't understand how I can meet someone.

Most times when I go on a date with someone or meet someone for the first time, I have the "ehh" feeling.  You know...the feeling that if I didn't go out with them again it wouldn't make a difference.  The feeling where I'm sitting across the table from a guy having awkward conversation thinking about am I even attracted to them at all.

I'd love to meet someone and feel the butterflies. You know...the za za zoo! Someone I have an instant connection with and have that feeling be mutual.  I want to meet someone where it just comes with ease to be in their company.  and someone I want to spend time with and have no problem putting them in my schedule.

How do you ever find that person? Is everyone better at it than I am? Or is everyone else looking at what's on paper vs. the feeling they get when they're with that person? 

In a world with so many people, why is it taking half of my life to find him?