I know this is a weird anaology but men are like shoes. I suppose guys can think of women as shoes too...but for the sake of this blog...it's men!
Ever since the break up of "Mr. Dallas" and I, I've had a hard time in the dating area. It seems like the record for dating someone is 3 months. Pretty pathetic right? I'm getting to a point where I'm tired of trying on shoes all the time. I like to see if I wear a pair for awhile.
Today I got a lonely feeling because I miss my girlfriends and being able to hang out with them but, also since my latest attempt at dating didn't work, I'm feeling helpless.
In Milwaukee I had a hard time meeting "new" people. Remember how much I ran into the ex-boyfriend? Yikes! Now I live in a city of 4 million people and I wonder how am I ever going to narrow that down.
Considering I'm new, don't know a lot of people, where am I going to meet someone? I've been doing the online thing for nearly 2 years and you know how that's been going for me. I'd like to meet someone the old fashioned way but i never get approached. And the times I do get approached it's by really gross obnoxious guys who act as though they want to just hook up. EWW!
I know girls love to show shop. Although at some point we find a pair we like and we take them home and wear them all the time. I feel like I'm trying shoes on....getting them home...wearing them for a bit and then they give me blisters so I get rid of them.
Please God...where is my pair of shiny pretty shoes that last forever without hurting when I wear them?
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
REALLY? I MEAN REALLY!
Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Live skit "Weekend Update" with Amy Poehler and Seth Myers? The bit where they say REALLY? to things that happen? Let me say that they are spot on with some of the stuff they go off about. There has been a couple things where have had me saying "Really? I'm mean Seriously!"
The first is a doozie!!
When people sign up for their wedding registry at TIFFANY and CO.!!!! REALLY? How tacky is that? How materialistic are you that you expect your wedding guests to shell out $400 for a setting of silverware? REALLY? Do you think that people give a crap about your wedding that much to spend that kind of money on YOU? WOW! Your groom is either is a complete sucker...or has turned into the person he once hated!
How pathetic...people who register at TIFFANY for their wedding gifts are either 1. EXTREMELY WEALTHY...which is not the case or 2. TRYING TOO HARD! Which is totally the case! It's like the girl that has to have Louie Vuitton purse. She just wants everyone to think she has money. Or the person that shows up to charity events...to look like they care, when they're really just there for the photo op. Please don't pretend you care about the poor!
I just hope your husband to be is smart enough to have some money socked away in an off shore account so when you divorce him, he's at least left with something. Then again....he knows everything. He's a big boy he'll figure it out...soon enough.
And while we're on this money tangent...How about the woman that HAS TO buy Jimmy Choo's at the very least. I know of a woman that makes a decent living for herself working for a regular America retailer. One that is from coast to coast and is 100% middle class. There is nothing in that store that is expensive. I'm mean they sell Candies clothing for Pete's sake. This woman goes on trips overseas for work and will call her (too scared to get out) husband saying she wants to get a Gucci Python skin purse that costs $5000!!! REALLY? I MEAN REALLY! I can think of a million things that I'd rather spend $5000 on!!! A trip, pay off part of my car, invest, use for a down payment on a house, a new nose. Seriously? A PURSE!!! You're lame!! Again someone that is trying way too hard and is COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY!!!
Best part of that story is...when her husband bought shoes for himself from that very store that they work for...she told him that she wouldn't be seen with him!! She sounds like a treasure. And to think...she has a husband!! What is it with these high maintenance women??? REALLY!!!
OK that's all I have at the moment but I have a feeling that this will be a recurring post...so be on the look out!
The first is a doozie!!
When people sign up for their wedding registry at TIFFANY and CO.!!!! REALLY? How tacky is that? How materialistic are you that you expect your wedding guests to shell out $400 for a setting of silverware? REALLY? Do you think that people give a crap about your wedding that much to spend that kind of money on YOU? WOW! Your groom is either is a complete sucker...or has turned into the person he once hated!
How pathetic...people who register at TIFFANY for their wedding gifts are either 1. EXTREMELY WEALTHY...which is not the case or 2. TRYING TOO HARD! Which is totally the case! It's like the girl that has to have Louie Vuitton purse. She just wants everyone to think she has money. Or the person that shows up to charity events...to look like they care, when they're really just there for the photo op. Please don't pretend you care about the poor!
I just hope your husband to be is smart enough to have some money socked away in an off shore account so when you divorce him, he's at least left with something. Then again....he knows everything. He's a big boy he'll figure it out...soon enough.
And while we're on this money tangent...How about the woman that HAS TO buy Jimmy Choo's at the very least. I know of a woman that makes a decent living for herself working for a regular America retailer. One that is from coast to coast and is 100% middle class. There is nothing in that store that is expensive. I'm mean they sell Candies clothing for Pete's sake. This woman goes on trips overseas for work and will call her (too scared to get out) husband saying she wants to get a Gucci Python skin purse that costs $5000!!! REALLY? I MEAN REALLY! I can think of a million things that I'd rather spend $5000 on!!! A trip, pay off part of my car, invest, use for a down payment on a house, a new nose. Seriously? A PURSE!!! You're lame!! Again someone that is trying way too hard and is COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY!!!
Best part of that story is...when her husband bought shoes for himself from that very store that they work for...she told him that she wouldn't be seen with him!! She sounds like a treasure. And to think...she has a husband!! What is it with these high maintenance women??? REALLY!!!
OK that's all I have at the moment but I have a feeling that this will be a recurring post...so be on the look out!
Monday, October 12, 2009
EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS A FAILED ONE TILL YOU MEET THE ONE
Someone made that comment today when we were talking about my recent breakup. I told him that in the last 2 years my dating timeline hasn't been very impressive. Ever since my breakup with Mr. Dallas, who I dated a year and a half, my track record has been 2-3 months. I've been really beating myself up over this since I had my most recent break up.
I've been wondering why is it that around that 2-3 month mark do things go south. Let me just say that with these relationships, not every single one of them were the guys breaking up with me. Sometimes I wasn't feeling it either. There was a couple times where the guys did something completely stupid which made it easy for me to say, "AHHH, yeah done."
But...no matter how you slice it...breaking up sucks! Even though I only dated the latest guy about 2 months, it still hurts. It hurts because I don't know why he felt he didn't want to try harder, or what I did wrong, or my famous question....WHAT's WRONG WITH ME?
That's something that with every breakup. Even though I get the typical..."It's not you" speech every time...I still think, there has to be something wrong with me. I haven't had boyfriend for longer than a few months in the last 2 years and I'm starting to feel like a failure.
When I expressed my feelings of failure to my coworker he asked why would you feel that way. I told him that I feel like I can't keep a guy around for longer than a few months and I was bummed that I had another failed relationship.
He had 2 thoughts. 1. Maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet. There's nothing wrong with me, but maybe I just haven't found the guy for me. MAYBE? 2. If you think about it every relationship you have is a failed one til you find the person you marry.
He's right in a way. Every relationship that you're in will be one that doesn't work out till you find the person you marry. Now, will that work out? As a person that's divorced and thought I would grow old with that person, I can say sometimes that doesn't work out either.
I've got to keep my head up. As much as it stinks to have another break up, I've got to believe that I am a good person and this doesn't define me. If it's meant to be it will be and I've got to think that in the 4th largest city in the country I'll be able to find a match for me somewhere.
I've been wondering why is it that around that 2-3 month mark do things go south. Let me just say that with these relationships, not every single one of them were the guys breaking up with me. Sometimes I wasn't feeling it either. There was a couple times where the guys did something completely stupid which made it easy for me to say, "AHHH, yeah done."
But...no matter how you slice it...breaking up sucks! Even though I only dated the latest guy about 2 months, it still hurts. It hurts because I don't know why he felt he didn't want to try harder, or what I did wrong, or my famous question....WHAT's WRONG WITH ME?
That's something that with every breakup. Even though I get the typical..."It's not you" speech every time...I still think, there has to be something wrong with me. I haven't had boyfriend for longer than a few months in the last 2 years and I'm starting to feel like a failure.
When I expressed my feelings of failure to my coworker he asked why would you feel that way. I told him that I feel like I can't keep a guy around for longer than a few months and I was bummed that I had another failed relationship.
He had 2 thoughts. 1. Maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet. There's nothing wrong with me, but maybe I just haven't found the guy for me. MAYBE? 2. If you think about it every relationship you have is a failed one til you find the person you marry.
He's right in a way. Every relationship that you're in will be one that doesn't work out till you find the person you marry. Now, will that work out? As a person that's divorced and thought I would grow old with that person, I can say sometimes that doesn't work out either.
I've got to keep my head up. As much as it stinks to have another break up, I've got to believe that I am a good person and this doesn't define me. If it's meant to be it will be and I've got to think that in the 4th largest city in the country I'll be able to find a match for me somewhere.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
PICKING PEOPLE APART
Have you ever been with someone that picks you apart? I seem to have a habit of finding guys that do just that. It always seems to be over little stuff too. None of the stuff that I'm picked on for is what I would consider a deal breaker but, I guess to them it's big enough to harass me about.
Most recently I dated someone who started obsessing over my apartment and how they didn't feel it was clean enough. They even told me that I needed to get a maid. OK!! This is a bit ridiculous!! I admit...I am NOT the most organized or tidy person but, I'm NOT DIRTY! I wish I could show you a picture of it. My kitchen needs to be cleaned up but, it's not like I have tampon wrappers all over and dirty dishes everywhere.
One thing that bothered him was dog hair. I HAVE A DOG! THERE'S GOING TO BE DOG HAIR!! I let my dog sleep on the bed and yes...there is dog hair. Funny thing is, he has a dog! Although, until just recently he didn't even allow his dog to sleep in the bedroom. Long story.
Now, let me say there has been several guys that I've dated that also have dogs...who sleep on the bed. Sometimes they sleep under the covers. They even had hair IN the bed. I never had a problem with this.
There's been several other people that have picked me apart. One of them I was MARRIED to and the other I dated for awhile. My ex didn't necessarily pick me apart...more like nag, harp, and be condescending. "Are you going to leave your shoes there? Are you going do this?" The other would question me as to why I didn't do this or say that. I sometimes felt as if he wanted to be Governor and I was auditioning to be a politicians wife.
Some people may say, "Erin, you need to stop dating the same type of guy." To that I say, I've been breaking my own dating rules and reaching out to different types of guys in hopes I'll find something different....still finding the same.
I also wonder if there is something wrong with me. Like am I some horrible person that these people are right and should be so critical of me. OR IS IT THAT THEY ARE CONTROLLING? Do they have control issues? I know that's true with my ex. He always had to be right and thought he knew EVERYTHING!!!
Now, I admit...I should probably be more tidy but, I wasn't raised in a clean house. In fact, my house growing up looked like something you'd see in an episode of COPS. So, it's not going to be super easy for me to be really tidy. Although I'm better now than I was just a few years ago.
And my thought is, so what if my place is a little messy or whatever? He didn't cook! Maybe I'm pissed he couldn't cook. Am I going nag him about his lack of skills...NO. My thought is, you compromise. Maybe I could be the cook and they could be the cleaner. That's compromise. AND...If you're married or living together this is an issue. Not when you're just dating.
I just hope that one day I find someone who can take me with the good and the bad as I would do the with them. I feel like I'm willing to compromise. The only thing that I ask is for someone to adore me and take the time to be with me. And for some reason, that seems to be too much to ask for. Yet, I'm going to be picked apart because of my shoes on the stairs?
Ya know...I'll make a video of my place...just to show you what it looks like.
Most recently I dated someone who started obsessing over my apartment and how they didn't feel it was clean enough. They even told me that I needed to get a maid. OK!! This is a bit ridiculous!! I admit...I am NOT the most organized or tidy person but, I'm NOT DIRTY! I wish I could show you a picture of it. My kitchen needs to be cleaned up but, it's not like I have tampon wrappers all over and dirty dishes everywhere.
One thing that bothered him was dog hair. I HAVE A DOG! THERE'S GOING TO BE DOG HAIR!! I let my dog sleep on the bed and yes...there is dog hair. Funny thing is, he has a dog! Although, until just recently he didn't even allow his dog to sleep in the bedroom. Long story.
Now, let me say there has been several guys that I've dated that also have dogs...who sleep on the bed. Sometimes they sleep under the covers. They even had hair IN the bed. I never had a problem with this.
There's been several other people that have picked me apart. One of them I was MARRIED to and the other I dated for awhile. My ex didn't necessarily pick me apart...more like nag, harp, and be condescending. "Are you going to leave your shoes there? Are you going do this?" The other would question me as to why I didn't do this or say that. I sometimes felt as if he wanted to be Governor and I was auditioning to be a politicians wife.
Some people may say, "Erin, you need to stop dating the same type of guy." To that I say, I've been breaking my own dating rules and reaching out to different types of guys in hopes I'll find something different....still finding the same.
I also wonder if there is something wrong with me. Like am I some horrible person that these people are right and should be so critical of me. OR IS IT THAT THEY ARE CONTROLLING? Do they have control issues? I know that's true with my ex. He always had to be right and thought he knew EVERYTHING!!!
Now, I admit...I should probably be more tidy but, I wasn't raised in a clean house. In fact, my house growing up looked like something you'd see in an episode of COPS. So, it's not going to be super easy for me to be really tidy. Although I'm better now than I was just a few years ago.
And my thought is, so what if my place is a little messy or whatever? He didn't cook! Maybe I'm pissed he couldn't cook. Am I going nag him about his lack of skills...NO. My thought is, you compromise. Maybe I could be the cook and they could be the cleaner. That's compromise. AND...If you're married or living together this is an issue. Not when you're just dating.
I just hope that one day I find someone who can take me with the good and the bad as I would do the with them. I feel like I'm willing to compromise. The only thing that I ask is for someone to adore me and take the time to be with me. And for some reason, that seems to be too much to ask for. Yet, I'm going to be picked apart because of my shoes on the stairs?
Ya know...I'll make a video of my place...just to show you what it looks like.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING OUT HOPE
Have you ever had someone in your past that you just hope will change their mind and want back into your life? Someone that you might hold a "candle" for? I was thinking the other day of how much time I have spent doing just that. It got me thinking, "I can't be the only person that has done this."
I spent the last 2 years of my life holding out hope. In the back of my mind I always wondered, "Do they think about me? What do think about when they think about our relationship?" Would they ever try again?" I often asked myself some the same questions about them...Would I ever try again?
This is a person that I dated after my divorce. As I've said before, I put this person on a pedestal of sorts for a long time after the breakup. I thought to myself that I would never find anyone that will treat me as good as they did.
I think a lot of times when a girl gets their heart broken and they miss that person, they sit with a bottle of wine and cry. Thinking about all the good times they had and why they were so great..."I love the way they said this to me, I miss when he'd do BLANK." Torturing ourselves.
I got to a point where I had to think of some negative things about our relationship so that I would stop thinking this person was soooo great. I had to stop torturing myself with their memory. Because that's just what it was...they were a memory now.
This person and I haven't dated in 2 years. We've remained friends. We check in with each other from time to time to see how life is going. What's sad is over that 2 years I've always kind of wondered "WHAT IF?" I even wondered "WHAT IF?" when I was in the process of getting my current job. I know...stupid right?
I actually remember thinking "Huh...I might be moving to Texas...I wonder if I'll ever see him again....wonder if he'd ever even want to see me again?" I actually am kind of upset that I allowed myself to go there...to even think those thoughts. Giving myself that glimmer of hope. Not that I really was REALLY hoping for some big reuniting so to speak, I guess I was allowing myself the "what if?" Which is probably not a healthy way of thinking.
I guess I tell you this because I talking with a girlfriend and sharing a story about how long I was hung up on that person and I stated to feel so stupid for holding out hope in the back of my mind...for so long.
Maybe I'm being hard on myself...or maybe I'm not hard enough. Maybe I'm normal and I'm not the only person that has ever been this way in their life. Just some thoughts.
I spent the last 2 years of my life holding out hope. In the back of my mind I always wondered, "Do they think about me? What do think about when they think about our relationship?" Would they ever try again?" I often asked myself some the same questions about them...Would I ever try again?
This is a person that I dated after my divorce. As I've said before, I put this person on a pedestal of sorts for a long time after the breakup. I thought to myself that I would never find anyone that will treat me as good as they did.
I think a lot of times when a girl gets their heart broken and they miss that person, they sit with a bottle of wine and cry. Thinking about all the good times they had and why they were so great..."I love the way they said this to me, I miss when he'd do BLANK." Torturing ourselves.
I got to a point where I had to think of some negative things about our relationship so that I would stop thinking this person was soooo great. I had to stop torturing myself with their memory. Because that's just what it was...they were a memory now.
This person and I haven't dated in 2 years. We've remained friends. We check in with each other from time to time to see how life is going. What's sad is over that 2 years I've always kind of wondered "WHAT IF?" I even wondered "WHAT IF?" when I was in the process of getting my current job. I know...stupid right?
I actually remember thinking "Huh...I might be moving to Texas...I wonder if I'll ever see him again....wonder if he'd ever even want to see me again?" I actually am kind of upset that I allowed myself to go there...to even think those thoughts. Giving myself that glimmer of hope. Not that I really was REALLY hoping for some big reuniting so to speak, I guess I was allowing myself the "what if?" Which is probably not a healthy way of thinking.
I guess I tell you this because I talking with a girlfriend and sharing a story about how long I was hung up on that person and I stated to feel so stupid for holding out hope in the back of my mind...for so long.
Maybe I'm being hard on myself...or maybe I'm not hard enough. Maybe I'm normal and I'm not the only person that has ever been this way in their life. Just some thoughts.
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