WILL I MISS MILWAUKEE?

Many people have asked me if I'm going to miss Milwaukee. The before I even have a chance to answer they say..."Naw you're not going to miss it!" So let me clarify!

There is lots of things that I'll miss about Milwaukee and lots that I won't. Let's start with the things I won't miss then end on a high note.

Things I won't miss.

1. How small it is. I mean, you see the same people all the time. So say you break up with someone you see them all the time. I think there is only 1 guy that I dated here that I hardly ever saw. Everyone else it was at the gym, at the grocery store, at the beach, at the lake, at the bar, at the bar again...it's crazy.

Now the only thing is I'm a downtown dweller and some of these people also hung out in the same crowd. The only guy that I didn't run into all the time was none of the above. He was Ivy league boy, wine tasting, family island on the weekends kind of guy.

2. THE WEATHER!!! Besides the summer the weather here is HORRIBLE!!! I lived on the Eastside and parked on the street. 12 inches of snow on my car at 4am is not fun!!! Snot freezing to my face, dry skin everywhere on my body!! I won't miss that!

3. It's kind of expensive. I know it sounds crzy but it's true. I've lived in St. Louis, Austin, Portland. All of them I found to be cheaper for living. In st. Louis I had a 1br apt in the rich part of town. Granted it wasn't the fanciest place but it was super cute. Central air and heat, hardwood floors, and a parking spot in the underground garage...and it was $600!! For $600 you don't get a lot here. OH and the TAXES!!! Forget it!

4. Dating. Enough said!

Things that I will miss!

1. Summertime. It is a lot of fun and really beautiful. Living by the lake reminds me of of living in Portland. So mild and typically 85 degrees(unless you look today..it was 105 in Portland).

2. Living by the Lake. Sometimes from my porch I could hear it and it sounded like the ocean. It was awesome to take Sexie down there for walks in the summer. It was great to go for runs too. It made it so much easier. I find running to be so boring.

3. Tailgating. There's no doubt that people here know how to tailgate. They kind of do it in STL but it's nothing like here. It's an artform. From the bag game, the spread of food, playing random songs from your playlist really loud, and getting the biggest caravan you can!! It was awsome. I loved how my girlfriends and I would get our tailgates sponsored. AWESOME!!!

4. MY FRIENDS!! I meet so many great people here. I made some of my the best friends here in Milwaukee. My girlfriends are the best. And my good guy freinds are the best. Would I ever date my guy friends...no...but there are good guy friends.

The girls that I'm friends are not catty. They invite you over for brunch, cookouts, random impromtu dinners. I'll miss sitting around with a round of drinks and talking. Me telling ridiculous to the girls to make them laugh and talking totally inappropriately. AHHH GOOD TIMES!

I'll miss how my girls...we always had each others back. If I dated a D-bag...they stood up for you...sometimes even telling them off because they couldn't take them being selfish and treating you bad. I love them for that. Because you know that your friends sometimes can think more clearly than you in certain situations. They are looking out what's best or you even if it's not what you want at the time.

To my girls...Melissa, Colleen, Rebecca, Kristie, Jessica H, Leah, Jessica V, Jessica S, Courtney, Coutnee, Lottie, Mandy, Katie, Helen, Stephanie, Heather, Chelsea, Nancy, Linda, Jamie, Jen, the Liz's, Megan, Meredith, Merrilee, Niccoli, Oneda, Tamra, Vicky...love all of you!!

I'M GLAD I'M NOT 21 ANYMORE!

I had an interesting encounter just the other day with a girl that is 21. The whole situation made me so glad that I'm older, and not 21 anymore.

It all started the other night at Taylor's when friends of my ex boyfriend walked in. I hadn't seen them in awhile so we were talking a bit and I mentioned how I was just telling my girlfriends about how I used to into my ex boyfriend all the time but now I never see him. They said, "Well...you what's really funny is that he's here right now in the back corner." His girlfriend said, "Hey lets go over there and you can surprise him."

So I walk over there with them...and a little nervous too. I hadn't really seen him in awhile. He looks up and I said, "HIII!" with my little awkward wave I do. I'm not sure what he thought when he saw me because I think he was drunk. So I walk over to his BFF and say Hi. We talk for a second then I turn around and start talking to my ex. While I'm talking to him his 21 year old girlfriend who was sitting with her friends get up from her table and goes and stands next to him. Like I can't tell the girl is trying to mark her territory and basically pee on me.

Just then the friends girlfriend I walk over with says "Erin maybe you should get out of here." I thought good idea. But I was so bothered my ex's GF acting insecure that as I left I said something like..."you don't have to worry I'm moving anyway." Just then the girl screams out at the top of her lungs..."GO F$^& YOURSELF!!!" I make some comment back...and then she yells it again..."GO F_#^% YOURSELF!!!! CLASSY.

Now granted I did make a comment to her that could be deemed as a snotty comment but give me a break. Can't your boyfriend talk to a girl with out you walking over and clinging to him? Trust me, nothing is going to happen. Trust me, THAT SHIP HAS SAILED. So someone needs to calm the F$^& DOWN! When you cling onto you boyfriend...it comes off as EXTREMELY INSECURE and IMMATURE! That's a behaviour I don't tolerate.

After that, I then see the 2 of them arguing outside. She was on the street corner screaming at him(for some reason) and then started pushing and hitting him!! Really?? Because your boyfriend had a VERY brief conversation with his ex-girlfriend?

Some how he gets her to calm down and I see them walk back inside. A few minutes later one of the guy friends walks over to see if I'm OK. I said I'm fine but I don't want the other guy friends to hate me. He said it was all good and walked back to his area. Then some of their girlfriends walk over and my ex is with them. The girls asked if I was ok. Then my ex said.."let's do some shots." Now keep in mind. His GF just got done acting crazy on him outside and screamed at me. The entire time I'm thinking "What in the world is going on right now and is your GF going to come over here and start something?" He doesn't mention anything that just happened...he just takes his shot and goes back to his area.

Now here's the best part. About 10-15 minutes goes by and now his GF comes over and starts talking to the girls. And I can see her staring at me. Is she scoping me out? Sizing me up? Trying to stare me down? Does she even have a clue? As I'm talking to one of the other girls I can see her starring at me out of the corner of my eye. I look up and she looks at me and says.."Hi, I'm (fill in the blanks) girlfriend." I look at her probably with a face that says (you're an idiot) and respond with "Ahhh...Yeah...I know!"

I mean REALLY!!! What are you doing? Are you again...trying to mark your territory? Do you have amnesia and forget that you just went bi-polar on me? I certainly don't think it was a visit to make a truce...so what was the point?

After that night, it got me thinking and hoping that I pray to sweet baby Jesus that I didn't like that when I was 21. I can remember a time where I acted insecure when I dated my ex-husband. I was young and my ex and I lived 100 miles apart. I was also a virgin when I met my ex so I made him wait a long time to you know. Well I worked with guys that knew my situation and told me "Hey if you're not giving it up...he's getting it from somewhere." I'm 20 at the time and I believed them. I would get especially worried when he would hang out with guys from work that frequented strip clubs!!

Needless to say I would get a little paranoid. After awhile though, I grew out it and he stopped doing that. I just don't ever remember being so territorial and insecure.

I'm sure this is a phase that she will out grow(we hope). She'll look back in a few years after they both move on and she'll wonder why did I ever act like that or why did even care?

I can tell you, I've learned a lot of the years...and I'm still learning but I'm glad I'm not 21.

I'M MOVING BACK TO TEXAS!!!

Sexie and I are hitting the road

So after over 6 months of looking I finally found a new job. This is great opportunity for me and I'm really excited yet, nervous at the same time. I mean, this a big new chapter in my life and I nervous to see what God has in store for.

For months and months I looked at the Internet everyday for hours. Scouring website after website looking for info on jobs and even if I should make a career change. I would get mini bites here and there but nothing really concrete.

I applied and sent my website to a tone of people. One day I got a bite about in job in Vegas. Now, the city I would love to live in but, the job seemed a little disorganized. I didn't get the job, some other girl who was really out of work got the gig. Which was fine

Then I started thinking about our life coach Melissa Maleug told me once when I was really wanting to find a guy. She told me to write down all the things that I want in a guy. They had to be all positive. Even though I haven't found him yet, I decided to do the same with me next job.

So I wrote down all the things I would want if I could hand pick my job. I wanted to live in a state with no income tax, I wanted a state that was warm. I wanted to live in a bigger city. I wanted work for a great station and I wanted to work for good and solid company. And I wanted good managers.

So I started sending off my stuff to stations in Texas and got a bite. I was shocked. They didn't even have a real opening...just an idea of a change they wanted to make. After several phone calls I went down for a visit. Met everyone at the station and seemed to hit it off with people. Then I was asked to make another visit. Before you know it...they're offering me a job to be on the morning show!!

Now, not everything is finalized. I haven't officially signed any papers or officially signed any papers to leave here. But, it's pretty much a go on all ends. I'm just waiting for things on the Milwaukee end to become official.

Granted, I won't be making as much as I do here...by like 25%...but I think it's an opportunity that has more to offer me in the long run.

So I'll be working at KILT 100.3. It's a country station...and yes I DO like Country!! And I'll still do my blog down there.

I can't wait to see what the future holds for me in Houston. Will I find great friends? Will I find a great guy? I guess only time will tell. In the mean time I just wait for all the paperwork to be finished so I can start this new chapter.

REJECTION...IS GOD'S FORM OF PROTECTION

I was watching an episode of Law and Order when actor Jeff Goldblum made the comment on the show, "My Mom always told me, Rejection is God's form of Protection." I stood there for a moment and just let that soak in. It got me thinking about the times in my life where I might've felt rejected and how it really turned out for the better after.

I think of relationships that've failed and how I was crushed at the time and sometimes I'm still a little hurt over it. I know deep down it's for the best but it still hurts.

Like when I got divorced. Even though I asked for it, I still felt rejected because my ex husband didn't even try to make it work. I felt rejected both physically and mentally from him. Now, we're divorced and he's getting remarried...and I'm doing my thing but, deep down I know that I would not be happy if I were still married to him.

I needed to feel loved and appreciated. I wanted to feel like I was an equal when really I was made to feel all his business dealing and things he had going on were more important than what I had to say or do. I do believe people can change. But after being divorced for 3 years he still treats me the same. Unimportant.

How about moving here to Milwaukee and dating someone here. I was into him. I had so much fun with him. But, apparently I required more attention then what they wanted to give. So we broke up and he started dating someone 2 states away. Was she prettier? NO! Was she funnier? NO! Did she have a better personality? NO! Was she better than me in the getting it on dept.? DEFINITELY NO!!! I know that for a fact. She is convenient. My feelings still are a little hurt when I happen to see them and I look at her and think "Really? You broke up with me so you could hang out with a girl that SUCKS!?" "Wow it just isn't fair."

Although, if we still dated, I can see myself unhappy because I still wouldn't get the attention that I deserve. I don't want to come in line behind work, his working out, his friends, his trips off with the boys and his drinking out on the weekends. I would like to be a little higher on the totem pole and I 'd like for him to make me feel important and wanted. The rejection saved me from being unappreciated in the long run.

I know rejection is a form of protection when it comes to jobs too. After "The Mathew Blades in the Morning" Show went away, I felt unwanted. I was not wanted on the air on the new station and was told that wasn't going to happen either. At first I was a little bothered but, after awhile I realized that this was a blessing. Here's why...because I wouldn't be happy doing that kind of show. Just announcing..."That was George Michael...here's Pink!" I would be so uninspired.

About that time they gave me permission to look for another job. Again, I could've been offended that they didn't want to keep me around but instead I started hitting the pavement so to speak, and started sending out my aircheck. Randomly emailing program directors at stations that I would like to work at. Then one day I sent out my package and 3 days later I got a call...from HOUSTON, TX!!!! Now if the rejection that I experienced never happened...the biggest job of my career may never have happened.

Another rejection moment is when I auditioned for Cousin's Subs. They were looking for a spokesperson to go around Wisconsin and find people to enter the Mooing contest for the State Fair. Which required you to travel around Wisconsin, Friday's and Saturday's for 3 months. I thought I was would perfect for the gig.

I get to the interview and I wasn't really prepared. I was all dressed from TV that day. I had on tons of makeup on. Then when it came time to audition, I personally feel I stunk. Needless to say I didn't get the job. At first I was really disappointed but after a month or so I realized, that if I would've got that little gig, I wouldn't be able to fly down to Houston for my interviews and audition for that job, because all my weekends would be all tied up with MOOING.

So now I really believe when I get rejected, there's a good reason or it. I just may not know what that reason is for awhile.

ARE MEN PIGS BECAUSE WOMEN MADE THEM THAT WAY?

I know this may be a weird sounding theory but, hear me out on this one. Most women have the general opinion that men are pigs, but is it our faults and did we make them that way?

Think about that stuff men pull on women. They cheat on their spouses, hang out with the guys all hours of the night, text and call women other then their S.O. Maybe the reason men do all these things is because over the years men have been trained to do it because they know they can get away with it.

For instance, man cheats on his wife. We see it all the time. Like the police chief in Milwaukee, or The Governor of NY. Now, in the case of the police chief, it sounds like he and his wife have some weird arrangement where he gets to do whatever he wants. His wife and him haven't lived in the same city for the last 3-4 job moves he's made. Here's the thing, she accepts it and stays with him. Hence, making it OK to do whatever he wants. He's be trained. Or the Governor of NY having a repeated affair with a prostitute. Now, she may have had no idea prior but, after the crap hit the fan, she stood by his side. Accepting his adulterous behaviour.

Think about when you're dating a guy and he's acting shady by calling other girls or turning his phone off. Instead of putting our foot down and kicking them to the curb, we give them a tough tongue lashing and let them slide. Accepting their bad behavior.

The saying is...give'em an inch they'll take a foot. Maybe after so many generations of women just putting up with it, men have taken that foot and are getting away with it.

Think about if tables were turned and us ladies cheated on our guys. Most men would not hesitate to get the hell out of that. Or say I was out and my guy saw me hanging with so other guy...having drinks. I'd be done. Or if I didn't call my boyfriend back for days at a time. They know that's unacceptable. So, why do women put up with it? Why are we so afraid to be tougher and stronger?

I've probably have forgiven things I shouldn't have. I usually woke and smelled what was cooking..but, it did take me a second. Like a guy I dated who went to Vegas with the boys for a weekend. He called me and told me that a girl followed him up to his room late one night. He of course is drunk and has "no idea" what's going on. According to him, he's just having a friendly chat with a girl. As the story unravels, girl gets into his room and propositions him for a service. He apparently had no idea that she was a hooker and told her to leave. Here's the good part, she left her car, and house keys in his room. and he came back to town with him.(I ended finding them at his bedroom)

Now, at the time I believed him. But as time goes on I smell something fishy with that story. If that hooker was only in the room for a couple minutes before he shooed her out...How did she forget her keys? Why would she leave them out long enough? She obviously had to set them down and why would she do that if she was just there for a minute or 2? My vote is that something happened with her. What do you say?

I know...I probably look like an idiot for believing him. To my defense we were only dating a month or so at the time so I couldn't tell if he was lying. But, if I were smart, I should've broken up with him then and there simply for the fact that he's an idiot to get himself in that position in the first place. I should've been smart enough to say, "No, I don't want to be with someone that would remotely behave that way." I didn't, I accepted and believed. Now, I may never know what REALLY happened that night but I think it's probably pretty obvious.

Think about all the things that girls complain that guys do and pull. If the shoe were on the other foot, men would not put up with it. They would be on to the next girl so fast. So ladies, the next time you are complaining about your man being a pig...maybe you need to grow a set of cajones...and stand up for yourself and not put up with it.

LADIES BEWARE OF MEN WITH NO FRIENDS...BEWARE OF ONES THAT DO TOO!

I've noticed a trend in men that I encounter lately. As I've said before in this blog, I truly believe men can not be alone. Hence why after a break up or divorce, men 9 times out of 10 will either have a new person in their life or will be married before the girl will. My ex is a perfect example of that.

I've noticed this a lot in men that have either already been married or have had a serious long term live in girlfriend. Although, now that I think about it, an ex boyfriend of mine was dating me while technically never breaking up with his long distance girlfriend till I was in the picture. We had been dating at least 2 months prior to him breaking it off with her.

A guy that I was hanging out with for awhile was going through a divorce. He said that he had a pattern of going from one relationship to the next. I actually already decided we would never really date. Reason 1. was he was going through a divorce which he didn't want. I determined he probably wasn't dealing with it well and I was not going to be a rebound. Reason 2. He also told me that he was used to women chasing after him. I just didn't see that being good. and Reason 3. After he told me he went from relationship to relationship...I decided that this man needed to spend time alone and play the field a bit.

He was acting really into me. He would do very sweet things. Very sweet...but I noticed he had NO real guy friends. No guys to go to the bars with . No guys friends to invite over for the game. My thought is that he went from relationship to the next because he had no friends to occupy his off time.

I noticed that with another man going through marital problems. He's very very nice guy. He's attractive but...he's in a marriage that's been going south for awhile. I think for a second he thought if he got divorced he'd want to date me. I know he said he was really worried that once he got divorced he'd never find someone. He was worried he was too old. Keep in mind, he's in his late 30's with no kids. I told him that he would have no problem at all. But, here's also what I noticed...he has no real guy friends either.

So I'm starting to notice that guys that don't have real guy friends tend to be more into relationships and feel the need to be in one...where as guys with a ton of guy friends tend to stay single longer.

Take for instance, take a guy I dated here in Milwaukee for several months. He at first seemed really into the relationship. But after awhile he didn't include me in as much stuff. He had to go to class, then he had practice, then he needed to go to the gym...blah blah blah. When we broke up he actually told me that he hasn't been exercising like he wants to because he hangs out with me. Yet, any extra time he did have...he hung out with his guy friends and fit me in after.

After we broke up, you might remember that he was the one that started dating a girl out of state because it was easy and he could do what he wanted during the week and weekends when she wasn't around.

There's a prime example of a guy that's into having a little too much guy time. So much in fact, that he can't have a real relationship. He's the guy that will squeeze you in when he's not busy...versus the guy that will make time for you. In fact, the other guys he hangs out with are just as guilty...and some of them are married.

I guess you just need to be careful of the guys that's in need of relationship and need to be aware of the guy that just likes hanging with the boys. Either one in my opinion is not going to start a healthy relationship with you. Either they'll want to spend every waking moment with you or every waking moment with everyone but you.