SHOULD YOU DATE THE POSSIBLE BAD BOY??

As I get myself out there on the dating scene again, I learn a lot!! Now to give you a small bit of background on me. Like I've said before I have a very limited amount of dating experience. I have no idea sometimes what's the right or wrong thing to do....soooo let me break it down for you. In high school I never had a boyfriend. No boyfriends in college either. Guys just weren't ever interested

Around 19 I started working in radio full time. I met a guy that my girlfriend at a different station worked with and that guy later became my husband. We started dating when I was 20. We married a week after I turned 24. Then we divorced when I was 28. After the divorce, I started going out meeting people. Met a guy...flirted...met out on the weekends but really no dates. Then I met Sean, and he was officially the 2nd guy I've dated. My 2nd real boyfriend!!! Gosh I'm a late bloomer!

Now let's fast forward a bit to the present. As you know I'm on MATCH. I've gone on a few dates with people. All of them have been nice guys. Nothing too crazy. They all have great careers, are respectful, clean cut, have their stuff together for the most part. Or from what I can tell. But no love connections thus far. Recently I met someone who is attractive, funny, is nice to me. One thing though, everyone knows who he is. I mean everyone. I've heard some rumors about him. Some of them are completely outlandish. Some are true, because he admitted to them. He was a different person when these things happened. I can respect that. He realized something was wrong and he changed those behaviors. BUT.....Now, I'm getting to know him, and people I know and some I really don't know want to offer up their info and opinion.

So far in the very short time since I've met this person. He's has been nice to me. Actually sometimes he's kind of sweet. Now does that mean I've let my guard down? HECK NO!!! I'm not a complete idiot! No girl wants to be the girl that dates or is interested in a bad boy and everyone knows it except for her....but also I'm not going to go off half cocked with every story that comes down the pipeline!! It would wrong for me to assume anything at this point and certainly not fair.

So ladies have ever you dated a bad boy...sort of bad boy...or a boy that people loved to talk about?

It's a new chapter in dating for me so let's enjoy the ride!

DATE OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE?!

So most girls have the rule that if their friend dates, gets married to, makes out with, even likes that he is off limits! I know that if my friend Melissa were to have her eye on a guy and he weren't interested in her but maybe he liked me...I still would not go for him. I just would never want her to be mad or cause tension.

So recently a guy that I went on a few dates with, we decided that we're just friends. And we are good friends. We talk all the time. Go work out together. But the other day he started hitting on one of my good friends!! And I thought she might be into it. UMMM! What's going on here? Now let's make sure it's clear...He and I are truly just friends. But I have to say it makes me uncomfortable watching him trying to get on her.

I wondered do guys have this rule? I have my own rule...that I won't date 2 guys in the same circle either. Although I broke that rule. Remember "Earl"? When I met him I was interested in him. Well you know the story..."Earl" never called yada yada yada! So "Roy" shows interest...I thought..."Hmmm this isn't good. I should not go out with him." But I did. So now I feel like "that girl"! Now let's make this clear....NO BOWLING WAS HAD!!!! But I was mad at myself that I broke my own rule.

So do guys care if they date the same girl as their buddy? Does it get weird?

And what about my friend...is it bad that she breaks the rule? Does it depend on the circumstance? Sometimes I feel like there are so many fish in the sea that you should go outside the circle but then again I'm not sure.

What do you think?

DATE OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE!!!

My next blog I'll write about is....is it ok...cool...even acceptable for a guy or girl you date and then they start trying to date your friends.

I'll gather my thoughts and post later today.

WHAT I THINK THE PERFECT GUY IS...PART 1

I've written so many blogs about relationships, men, women and what makes us all tick. For some reason, when I write about this stuff it always seems to reflect on me! Here's the thing...I pose questions about things that come up in conversation with the girls or things that I seem to observe.

One thing that has really gotten my goat...is when people respond to my blog and say...."Erin maybe you need to stop looking for GQ models." UMMMM...EXCUSE ME!!! Do you know what my ex-husband looked like? UMMM no...you probably don't!!! Some responded with..."Have you ever dated a bald guy?" YES!!! For your information I have!!! In fact, My husband was not only bald but he wore a toupee when we started dating!!! Now if that's not love I don't know what is!!!

If you think my quest for a great guy includes a guy that looks like Fabio then you're reading far too into this blog then I even write.

Sure do I want a man that I find attractive!! Hell yes!!! You'll NEVER EVER EVER hear of a man that goes on a date with a girl and says that she's "OK looking" and he still wants to date her.....NO...He either thinks she's attractive or he doesn't...END OF STORY! Now does it mean the guy I date has too be that so called GQ model? NO...but I do need to find some attraction.

What else is attractive? I think a man that is considerate, attentive, thoughtful, driven, confident, motivated, funny, sweet, and has a great personality and attractive. There are other things as well. If I stay in good shape I want a man that takes care of himself as well. I'm not trying to be mean or whatever but men always want the candy on their arm....

I know I'm fired up right now. I'm just irritated at these emails here and there that think I need or want a GQ man...please...just know that when I write some of these blogs about relationship situations...that I write about "REAL LIFE SCENARIOS" and I comment on them from my experiences and my friend's experiences!

thanks for reading.
Erin

SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME...I MEAN REALLY LONG TIME

Since moving here to Milwaukee, I've been very lucky to get some great girlfriends to hang out with so quickly. Melissa, Rebecca, Colleen. My landlord took my under her wing and introduced to Erin, Jessica and my new girly doctor. I know, TMI!!

Every time us ladies get together we always and I mean always start talking about our dating trails and tribulations. We talk about how picky we are. The things we wish guys would do and things WE DON'T.

Melissa and I went to Chicago over the weekend. We went to dinner, met people and talked a bunch. Now, Melissa and I have a similar situation. We both moved to Milwaukee for our careers not knowing anyone. We both had relationships recently end.(When I say recently I mean within the last year) Let's get back on track. So we were talking about a guy she used to date and she made this comment about his hygiene. I laughed hysterically. It was so funny, and then I chimed in with "Oh my gawd...we are so going to be single for the rest of our lives!" Now it's just kind of a joke we have.

I started thinking about something last night. How does anyone ever find someone? Seriously? I mean, your talking about timing in each person's life, if they're even attracted to each other, if they click!! There are so many factors. Of course, attraction is I think the initial factor. Then you got try to make the other stuff work out.

I know some of my girlfriends are PICKY too!!! They always seem to find something that bothers them. Some of it is major stuff. His outlook on life, goals, personality, and personal chemistry. Some of it is also surface stuff. His teeth, hair, habits, how he talks, he never laughs, he's dry.

I feel like sometimes my group of girlfriends are in a reality version of "Sex and the City" If you could hear the stuff we talk about and analyze!! Oh and we analyze everything!!!

So at what point does picky and choosy become overboard? It's not like we are on a quest to find Mr. GQ 2008. We all want attractive men with a good head on their shoulders. Not to crazy in the head!

And we've all noticed how small the Milwaukee dating scene is. I went on a date with a guy named..."Roy". And "Roy" had an ex-girlfriend and ex-fling and me...a girl he has gone a date with all in the same restaurant at the same time!! Yikes!! Now if that isn't uncomfortable. Oh and you know what? He still wants to "date"(sleep with) a bunch of different girls. I think he has a commitment/boredom issue with women. Sorry I'm off point again...but if Milwaukee is this small and so many people our age are off and married...where are we going to find a catch? Is there enough to go around? Do we need to start finding guys from Chicago?